One Shot Stories

58. SAID I LOVE YOU BUT I LIED.

"Kevonn," pagtawag ko sakaniya. Nandito kami ngayon sa sala nila at magkayakap.

"Hmm?" he responded.

"Basahin mo kung ano man 'yung isusulat ko sa palad mo ah?"

I was about to write on his palm when he interrupted me. "Why? What's wrong?" I asked, dumbfounded.

"Nasaan 'yung panulat mo?" he asked, his eyes is full of confusion.

Bakit? Akala niya ba magsusulat ako ng literal sa palad niya? I laughed at him. His cheeks became red, he's such a cutie. I shook my head and wrote in his palm using only my finger.

"I love you." That's the word that I wrote.

I waited on him for a seconds till he finally got it.

"I love you." He then kissed me on my forehead. He always do this. He loves forehead kisses, and that's what I do unto him everytime we're together.

What's the status between us? Honestly, I don't know. But okay lang naman sa'kin kung anong meron kami ngayon. Kung ayaw niya pang pag-usapan ang about samin, naiintindihan ko naman. Hindi ko siya pinepressure or anything.

"Hey, can you help me answering my modules? Turuan mo ako, please."

He looked at me emotionless. "Huh? Hindi mo ba kayang mag-aral ng mag-isa?"

What did he actually said? Is he even serious about that? He never treated me that way.

"May gagawin ka ba? Sige, ayos lang. Kaya ko naman siguro 'to." I faked a laugh and shed the tears that are completely streaming down to my cheeks.

"Sige," He replied then walked wherever he's going to.

Alas dyes nang gabi ngunit heto pa rin ako at nakatulala sa modules ko, hindi naman kasi ako katulad nung iba na sobrang dali umintindi at sobrang dali lang din makaalala. Slow learner ako, although kaya ko namang mag-aral at umintindi mag-isa, iba pa rin kapag may katulong ako mas lalo kong naiintindihan.

Hanggang sa sumapit ang Alas dose ngunit wala pa rin akong natatanggap na tawag o text man lang kay Kevonn. He usually updates me whenever he's out, what he's doing, everything. But today is different, mula kaninang umaga nang umalis siya, wala na rin siyang paramdam sa'kin.

I dialed his number again and I smiled when he finally answered it. "Kevonn, where are you? Nakauwi kana ba? Anong ginagawa mo ngayon?" sunod-sunod kong tanong.

"Hello? Who is this?" My smile vanished when I heard that voice. It's her ex's voice. So, they finally got back together?

"Uh, Nandyan ba si Kevonn?" maliit ang tinig kong tanong.

"Oo, nandito siya natutulog sa tabi ko. Bakit?"

Unti-unting sumikip ang dibdib ko hanggang sa hindi na ako nakahinga. Nabitawan ko ang phone ko pero rinig ko pa rin ang boses nilang dalawa dahil naka loud speaker ito.

"Baby..." That husky voice.. it's him.

"May tumawag sa phone mo, hindi ko alam kung sino." Pagbibigay alam nito sakaniya.

"Hmm hayaan mo nalang."

"Ano ba nakikiliti ako!"

Hindi ko na talaga kaya. Hindi na ako makahinga at wala akong kasama rito sa kwarto ko para abutin sa'kin ang inhaler o tubig man lang.

So, totoo nga? Nagkabalikan na sila? E' paano kami? Ha? May kami ba?

Mula din nang araw na 'yon ay ilang linggo kong hindi pinansin si Kevonn and I think it's fine with him naman. Natural okay lang talaga sakaniya na hindi kami magpansinan, sa'kin lang talaga hindi. Ako 'yung nang i-ignora pero ako 'yung mas nasasaktan sa ginagawa ko.

My phone beeped. Someone texted me.

Kevonn:

Hey, can we talk?

Kakayanin ko ba ang anumang sasabihin niya?

Nakipagkita ako sakaniya sa isang playground sa village namin, it's our favorite place. Isang lugar kung saan kami unang nagkakilala, lugar na saksi ng lahat ng saya at lungkot naming dalawa. Hindi ko naman aakalain na dito rin pala mismo sa lugar na 'to kami magtatapos.

Umarte akong walang malalaman na kahit ano nang magkita kami. I acted like nothing happened.

"Imma say it straight to the point." He heaved a sigh then continued."Let's end what's between us. I don't know how to address it but thank you for everything."

"I want to ask one question then you're free to go," My voice broke at the end. I can't help but to cry. I'm a crybaby, I thought I'm ready for this to happen but I'm not.

"Go on," he cooly said. How can he act cool when I'm here sorrowful?

"Those I love you's of you, is that even true?"

"To be honest, no. Wanna know why?"

I nodded. My mind says yes while my heart says no for it'll broke me apart.

"I said I love you but I lied. Oo, sinubukan kong mahalin ka pero wala e, habang unti-unti kong sinusubukan, unti-unti rin akong kinakain ng mga alaala naming dalawa, na merong siya at ako, na kailanma'y hinding-hindi magiging ikaw at ako."

I looked up to prevent my tears from falling.

"Alam mo rin ba kaya ayokong lagyan ng label ang kung ano mang namamagitan sa'ting dalawa? 'Yon ay dahil natatakot ako na sa oras na dumating ang oras na ito, dumating ang oras kung saan bumalik si Julia ay may maiiwan akong responsibilidad sayo. Alam mo ayoko mang mauwi ang pinagsamahan natin sa ganito, pero wala akong magagawa dahil kailangan na talaga natin 'tong wakasan." He added.

Ang dami kong gustong sabihin ngunit wala niisang salita o letra ang lumalabas sa bibig ko, kundi puro luha ng kalungkutan na nanggagaling sa'king mata lamang.

Ito na ba talaga ang wakas para sa'ming dalawa? O may kapalaran pang naghihintay sa'min?

"The next time you love someone, I hope he's right for you. I hope he can complete you and fix all the parts I broke previously." He closed the distance between us then hug me tight.

"Thank you for being true, Kevonn."

Ayan lamang ang mga salitang namayani sa aking mga labi.