One Shot Stories

62. UH..

"Alam mo ba napanaginipan nanaman kita, pero sa mga pangyayaring nasa panaginip ko lagi kitang kayakap, yakap kita nang mahigpit na para bang ayokong bumitaw.. saka alam mo sa lahat ding 'yon, palagi akong umiiyak, umiiyak ako habang yakap ka."

Kumunot ang kaniyang noo saka ako marahang hinapit at niyakap nang mahigpit. He softly kissed my forehead and placed his head on my neck. "Bakit ka naman umiiyak?"

"Bakit nga ba? Hindi ko rin alam," I whispered and tighten my hug on him.

"'Wag ka nalang mag-isip ng kung ano-ano, panaginip lang naman 'yon, kaya hayaan mo na."

It's been a week since that night happened, when I told him about my dreams every night and now.. matatawag ko bang dream come true ito? Dahil ang pangyayari sa panaginip ko ay nangyayari mismo ngayon. I bit my lower lip to prevent myself from crying, I don't want him to see me cry. I don't want him to see how weak I am. I don't want him to know how I really feel at this moment. I just want him to be happy without knowing that I'm hurt.

"Sorry, dae ha?" Mahinang bulong niya habang yakap niya ko.

I acted like it's just nothing. I smiled like it didn't hurt me at all. It hurts, but it's okay.. I'm used to it. Lagi naman akong talo, ano pa bang bago doon?

I pulled myself away and tapped his shoulder. "Nah, don't be. Don't say sorry because in the first place, wala kang kasalanan. Don't say sorry kasi naiintindihan ko naman, lagi naman kitang naiintindihan at iniintindi."

He held my both hands and looked straight in my eyes. "Basta sorry. Hindi ko alam, sabi ko sarili muna pero 'eto ako ngayon, nasa kaniya."

"Kailan pa?" I asked. I tried my best to make my voice firm, because any time right now I might cry.

"Hindi ko din alam, basta nagising nalang ako siya na hinahanap ko, siya na 'yung gusto kong kausap, like she means everything to me, my whole world is revolving on her, only her."

I nodded my head and take a deep breath. "Well then, that's good. You've finally found your yellow, you're now happy and that's because of her."

He stepped forward and kissed my forehead. I shut my eyes and let myself feel the warm touch of his lips landed on my forehead. This may be the last and we're back to strangers again.

"Sor-"

I placed my finger on this lips to make him stop from saying sorry. "Shh.. stop. It's okay, I understand. You can leave now." My voice broke as I uttered the last line. A tear fell from my eye.

"You're not okay. Nasasaktan kita, murahin mo ako, saktan mo ko. Gawin mo lahat ng gusto mong gawin but please don't give me this silent treatment."

"'Yon na nga e, gustong-gusto kong magalit, gustong-gusto kong saktan ka tulad ng ginagawa mo sa'kin ngayon, gustong-gusto kong murahin ka at sabihin lahat ng masasakit na salita. Pero wala e," Mahina akong tumawa saka mabilis na pinunasan ang mga nag-uunahang mga luha mula sa mata ko.

"Wala, kasi hindi ko kaya. Hindi ko kayang gawin sa'yo lahat 'yon. Hindi ko kayang magalit, hindi ko kayang saktan ka, hindi ko kayang murahin ka dahil sa ginawa mo. Hindi ko kaya.." Unti-unting nanlabo ang paningin ko at unti-unti na ring sumisikip ang paghinga ko pero hindi ko 'yon pinahalata, pinaulit kong maging malakas para wala na siyang alalahanin pa.

"Sus, may mga tanong ka pa 'di ba? Go, sasagutin ko lahat," he insisted.

"Wala na kasi una palang naman, alam kong talo na ako. Kailanman hindi naging ako at hindi magiging ako," I answered and put my poise back.

"Alam kong marami ka pang tanong,” marahang aniya.

Marami pa nga.. pero hindi na, 'wag nalang, hindi na din kasi kinakaya ng paghinga ko, lalo lang sumisikip 'yung dibdib ko kaya mas lalo akong nahihirapang huminga.

"Nah, wala na akong mga tanong pa." I lied.

He looked at me once again before he made his way to wherever he wants to.

"I'm supposed to be your moon, but I guess she's the moon that lights your night while I'm just one of your stars that makes your moon shine brighter," I whispered, watching him walked away from me.