Beloved - F. Weasley

66.

{.66. Drowning}

Trigger warning; mentions of violence, torture and rape

Carina Bella Zabini had been dealt a shit hand in life, she knew this. Ever since she was young she had been anxious and worried about numerous things resulting in severe panic attacks as she grew older; she also had a deep rooted fear of losing the people she loved. She had always looked to the protection of Blaisey; when she didn't have Blaisey she would hide behind her mum.

After the awful things that happened in Malfoy Manor, Carina didn't feel like she could rely on anybody. Fred had been marvellous of course he had, bringing her cups of tea, making sure she was warm enough, tending to her every needs. He never pressured her and he tried his hardest to make sure she knew that she had a choice, and that she was safe. It was helpful; but she couldn't help shake with fear whenever someone came near her.

She couldn't help feel terrified of an older man, it didn't really fair too well for poor Mr Weasley and Moony, Carina had been terrified of them after their first initial chat and she stayed away from them. Both men knew it wasn't their fault but they couldn't help but feel guilty as they knew that the torment Carina faced should never have happened.

Kian Phillips came to the burrow a few times since Carina had arrived back at the burrow with Jamie Phillips. Bringing Oscar and Ava was a wonderful mood lifter. Carina had smiled for the first time since she had returned home when she saw the twins. She had taken a liking to Oscar who, when he was awake, would be smiling at her when she pulled funny faces.

They really helped lift her mood but as soon as they left, Carina felt like she was drowning again. She felt like she could feel the pain of the cruciatus curse flowing through her body, she could physically feel Rowle on top of her. She didn't like it, she wanted to be able to hug Fred and Orion again: even George and Lee — Lee had visited once with a bunch of flowers and a box of chocolates for her apologising profusely despite her reassurance that nothing was his fault — she wished she was able to give them something.

She knew that Fred, Orion and Blaise had wanted to hug her as soon as they saw her but she couldn't let them. She didn't want them to touch her. The more she thought about someone that wasn't Mrs Weasley or even Ginny touching her she felt sick.

It wasn't their fault though and she had to learn to remember that because Fred, Blaise and Orion were good. They'd never hurt her, ever. All they had wanted was to protect her and keep her a safe as possible; it wasn't their faults.

"Carina?" She was snapped out of her thoughts by Fred and she smiled at him gesturing him to come in.

He sat a little away from her because he didn't know how comfortable she was — carina appreciated this but she didn't want it to be weird, he was her boyfriend — he smiled at her and took a deep breath.