BAD BUT GOOD - BokuAka

31.

POV Akaashi

I opened the door and tip toed to Bokuto. He was sleeping, laying on his back. I sat down next to him and let my eyes wander all over his face. The relaxed look on his face warmed my heart. I leaned forward and gave him a kiss on his cheek. He was a heavy sleeper, so I wasn't all too gentle.
I let my fingers run through his hair. The corner of my mouth lifted. He was so beautiful.
My hand wandered down to his cheek and I brushed it. Suddenly agitation made my mind drop. I had to go without telling him. I didn't even know what they wanted from me. Maybe I wouldn't be able to return. Back to him.
Maybe I would be dead in a few hours. Probably.
I leaned forward once again and laid my lips on his forehead. His scent went all the way up my nose and filled my whole body. For the first time I was scared. Scared to die. I never feared death before, but now it means tearing me apart from Bokuto. Taking him away from me.
I brushed my lips against his soft skin and kissed him once again. I couldn't get enough. It felt like this was the last time that I could touch him. I pressed my eyes together.
"I am so sorry Bokuto-San." I whispered. My thumb still brushed against his cheek. I wasn't sure, if it was too early to say this. I wasn't even really sure, if you would say it back to me. But you can't hear me now. So it doesn't matter. It's just like speaking to myself, in my mind.
"I love you."

I walked down the street. The coldness of the winter made my knees shiver, as I was taking my steps further. How many people are going to show up? What are they going to do? I pulled my hands out of my pockets and rubbed them against each other. The rubbing managed to warm up my palms but my fingertips remained ice-cold.
There it was, the small bridge, with a river flowing underneath it. I looked from left to right. No cars. Where were they? They would come with at least 30 man. Especially if it's Hai Lee to show up.
I stepped down the stairs and walked up to the bridge. Still no sign of a single living soul. As I arrived the spot, I stopped.
"C'mon man it's freezing." I mumbled under my breath and turned my head from left to right. Okay there is no doubt. They are going to kill me. I broke into their file room and killed Ojisan.
My heart started racing. As long as you are safe Bokuto.
I knit my eyebrows. As long as you are safe, I would die for you.
I repeated my words all over, again and again. Suddenly my eyes widened.
Who is going to assure me to keep him safe and alive after I die? Who would let me know, if he's okay, if I die? I shook my head. There was no guarantee. There was no point to die to keep him safe. The only way I could protect him, is to be with him. I couldn't allow myself to die.
"Hey!" I jerked by the three letters, that came from my left side. My head turned to the direction. It was Hai Lee. Shoulder long, ash black hair, only a few grey strands.
I cleared my mind off the thoughts and turned around. He was alone. No one was with him. I could kill him on the spot, but so could he.
"Keiji Akaashi." He said and smiled. As he neared himself with slow steps, my hand wandered up my waistband.
"Why aren't you talking Keiji?" I didn't answer.
"Is it because you dared to stab our backs, just like we don't mean anything to you. And to top that, you killed many of your ex members." Now he was standing right infront of me. Only one meter apart. His smile formed into a grin.
"How dare you?" Hai Lees dark eyes pinned on my hand, resting near my waistband.
"Oh no, no! I wouldn't do that." He stepped closer. "It may seem like I am alone, but not really." My hand dropped to my side. I was trying to say something, but the words wouldn't come out. If I would kill him, they would kill me and get Bokuto afterwards. I was unable to do anything. I felt helpless and weak. There was no way out. Nothing I could do. It was like running along a white corridor, with no end.
"I am not going to hurt you. Not now." He swallowed once and continued his sentence. "That would be too easy." I clenched my jaw. "But you are going to be followed from now on. Step by step Keiji." Hai Lee laid his hand on my shoulder and clasped my jacket. He stepped next to me, facing the opposite direction. "That's why we got you here. And if it get's boring after a while I will surprise you."
He let my jacket go and brushed over it with his palm a few times.
"Click. Boom." He said and walked away. I stared into the void. My body was freezing from the outside but a feeling made my inside boil. Was it anger? Or sadness? I couldn't tell.
They are going to follow me. Going back to the Haikyuu mansion was too dangerous. They would find out our location.
My gaze lowered. There was no way I could hide Bokuto from them. Or Kuroo and Oikawa. I was trying so hard to think of something, that I could do. Nothing.

***

Hello! Today's chapter was angsty Akaashi ft. his overthinking mind.