Wherever You Go [Katy Perry Fan fiction]

Chapter Fifty

I had been awake since four o clock this morning. Three and a half hours sleep was all that my body had allowed me to have, and since then, after waking up on the cold tiles of my kitchen floor, shivering, I had been slouched on the sofa with a thin blanket for warmth, all alone in the complete darkness. My head rested in the palm of my hand, watching the wooden clock on the fireplace as it ticked every second.

I hear the sounds of movement coming from the floors above me, signalling that Oliver is awake. I take a small inhale of air. I hoped to prepare myself for the atmosphere that will occur when he comes downstairs, but I have no idea what that's going to be like. Would he still be completely pissed off with me for last night? Would the sleep have allowed him to calm down a little? Who knows.

I had been texting Shannon for the past fourty minutes. As I expected, she went absolutely crazy at me for making her worry so much, and also wasn't too impressed when I gave her a false statement as to where I was. She tried to call me once or twice, but I declined each call, knowing there wouldn't be a chance on Earth I could speak to her at the minute without having some sort of a breakdown.

Just as I had locked my phone, turning the screen to black and placing it on the side table, I hear the quiet creeks of the living room door being opened, and a faint light from the hallway is cast upon the living room carpet. A tall figure stands in the doorway.

"Morning," my shaky voice whispers, when I catch sight of a tired pair of deep green eyes.

The most painful thing, though, is that when these beautiful eyes catch mine, they instantly look away. They don't look back either. They can't. They're too hurt and upset with me at the moment to even acknowledge my presence.

"Ol," I murmur, getting up out of my seat to follow him into the kitchen.

Oliver pulls out a breakfast bar from the cupboard above him, his back facing me. He doesn't speak a word, nor does he turn around when he hears me enter the room.

"Ol, please," I plead.

I go up behind him, placing my hands on the hard muscles in his back. I cringe at the way he tenses up, clearly not happy that I'm touching him. I feel the fabric of his black blazer beneath my fingers.

"I'll drop Luke off at Claire's on my way to work," he says, completely avoiding the subject. His body swiftly moves from beneath my fingertips so that he's stood at the other side of the kitchen, his back still being my view, and I sigh heavily.

As much as I absolutely despised myself for lying to him, I just couldn't bring myself to tell him. I didn't know why. I suppose I didn't have it in me to hurt him so much when I tell him that I might be sick. Not only that, but the cell-eating disease that I may possibly have could kill me. I knew that I couldn't cope with the look on his face; that look of devastation. We're soul mates, me and him. Together forever raising our beautiful children. The thought of telling him that there could be a chance I may have to leave him to do it alone is something I can't even bare to imagine.

And that goes for my children too. Well, Lucas probably wouldn't understand. In fact, he'd most likely just sit there and laugh at me, or stick out his tongue, completely oblivious to the fact he could grow up without a mommy. That's the beauty of his age. I can protect him from just about anything at the minute because he's far too young to understand what goes on in the world.

Then there's Sammie. Wise before her time. I'm the mother that already disappeared from her life when she was younger, I couldn't possibly do that again. She's so strong, but at the same time extremely vulnerable. Sammie doesn't cope with loss very well. The thought of her crystal blue eyes looking at me in complete heartbreak is something that I know I cannot see. Her heart is made of pure gold, though. She'll want to be here for me. She's a Mommy's girl. Sammie will refuse to leave my side if she knows this is happening, and I can't let her do that. She's out there working hard for her future, putting time and effort into her career. Who am I to give her this stress and take all of that away from her?