Wherever You Go [Katy Perry Fan fiction]

Chapter Sixty-Four

It felt good to be able to trust Shannon with my vulnerability. It assured me that I had somewhere to go, someone to turn to if I felt like I was reaching breaking point. I could see the pain was still raw for her too, but she kept it together. For my benefit, probably. Though, she had had longer than me to deal with it and figure out how to cope with it. I'd had, what? All of an hour, and I can tell you now that every minute that passed didn't get any easier.

Shannon had kindly made us both a coffee, probably sensing by my hesitation to leave the kitchen that I wasn't quite ready to put on a front again and face my family as they sat in the next room in complete oblivion to their daughter's health. I wasn't a good liar at the best of times.

I stood relatively still, the warm coffee cup in between both of my palms. I held it close to me, inhaling the strong scent of coffee as I just stared down at the patterns on the dining room carpet. I could feel Shannon watching me, her motion with her cup mimicking mine. I could hear the laughs coming from the next room, and I wondered how my mom was even able to act normal, just carry on like nothing was going on when really our lives had been thrown upside down. I wished that I was as strong as her.

"If ever you need some time out, a place to just run away to for a couple of hours, promise me you won't hesitate to come and find me?" Her voice was soft but ridden with concerned.

I nodded in agreement.

"You've overcome a lot of stuff in your life, Sammie. You and Katy both have. I know this is scary because I'm terrified too." I looked into her chocolate eyes at that point, noticing myself how afraid she was for her best friend. There's no Shannon without Katy, and it works both ways. "When she told me, I just sat in my apartment for hours wondering what to do with myself and trying to figure out how to get my head around it. You don't want to believe it, I know. You are a tough kid though Sammie and I know that you're going to be such a strength to you're mom."

I feel my eyes sting as the tears decide to make another unwanted appearance today. "I want to be, Shan. I really do. But-b-but, what If I can't? God, I don't want to let her down."

Shannon quickly pulled me into her warm grasp, hugging me tightly to her so that my tears were forced to soak into her navy, knitted blouse. She gently stroked my head with her hand, pulling away the loose strands of my hair that were sticking to my tear stained cheeks and tucking them back into my hair band.

"You could never let her down, babes. You mean the world to her, and that in its self is giving her strength. She cherishes every moment she spends with you. Trust me, she will do everything in her power to make sure that she's there for years of more memories with you. You don't have to try and be the tough one here, or pretend to her that you're okay if really you're struggling, because she knows how difficult this is for you. Katy doesn't want you to close yourself off from her because you're scared of letting her see you crumble. You're her daughter, Sammie, you'll both be there for each other and that is where you'll both find your strength."

"Shan," I sniffle into her blouse, hugging her a little tighter.

"Mhm?"

"Why are you always right?"

My body shakes with Shan's as she chuckles to herself at my words. "You wanna ask me that question again when Katy's in the same room?"

"She'd kick my ass for giving you the satisfaction," I giggle, not realizing that at this point it was no longer just me and Shannon in the room.

Shan's grip on me loosens when we hear, "who's kicking who's ass?" come from behind us, startling us a little. It was mom, but by the light, familiar laugh I heard afterwards I guessed she wasn't alone.