Wherever You Go [Katy Perry Fan fiction]

Chapter Fifty-five

 I watch as the glistening tears fall from Oliver's red, devastation filled eyes. His trembling fingers cover his mouth. I look at the way his knee shakes whilst the rest of his body stands so still, and finally, after a few minutes of silence, his eyes divert from the space on the ground he had been staring at for the past few minutes, to look into my own.

"Why didn't you tell me?" He whispers, choking back on his tears.

My arms are folded across my chest, goosebumps risen on my pale skin from the slight chill coming from the open window towards the left of the room. I slowly shake my head.

"I didn't know how to," I simply say in all honesty. "It took me a little time to process what was happening to my body, and what might happen to me...I guess I just...panicked. I couldn't bare to see the look on your face."

"Everything was perfect." His voice is so quiet. "We're happy, we’ve seen the world together, built this perfect home and have two beautiful kids that-" his eyes slowly enlarge after he has spoken and fill with the most heartbreaking look. A look that was so much worse than the one I had spent the past few days imagining. He's thought of the hardest thing of all; the thing that completely shatters my heart to think about. "The kids," he whispers, and with a sigh, I nod my head. "How do we even tell them something like this? Luke wouldn't understand, but Sammie..." I gulp after he's spoken. Hard. Twice in my life I have been in the situation where I thought my daughter's life could be so cruelly taken away from me. Twice I have sat in hospital chairs being consoled by doctors, friends, my parents, as they attempt to take away the excruciating pain of possibly being separated from my child for the rest of my life. I know that pain, and the thought of Sammie feeling that pain absolutely kills me. "Sammie will be devastated." Oliver breathes out.

I allow my tongue to give my lips a bit of moisture as my head nods slowly. “I know.”

“Today, I mean, when we were out on the court playing and fooling around, you knew that you had cancer?”

My still trembling hands lift to my mouth and I begin to chew on my nail. I looked at him, as he looked back, his hands hung loosely at his sides and his cheeks sunk in a little where he bit on the insides of his mouth. I didn’t even speak. I just nodded.

“You must have been so terrified. I’m so sorry that I-” before he finished his sentence I was at his side, my hands on his forearms as I hushed him to be quiet. The tears falling from his chin dropped down onto the cotton of my night wear, turning small circled patches a darker shade of pink.

“Don’t you dare apologise to me, Oliver,” I whisper to him, my face just inches away from his own. “You have absolutely nothing to be sorry for. If anything I should be thanking you, because today, you made me remember what I’m fighting for. You gave me fight without even realising it. You and the kids...that’s all I need.”
Ol’s shirt sleeve dampens as he wipes away the tears from his face, “you listen to me, alright?” He says. My hands drop from his shoulders when he holds them tightly in his own; his body towering over me as his eyes look from my right to my left. No more tears fall from his eyes. He no longer bites down on the inside of his mouth. He seems calmer than before. There’s a different look that he holds in his eyes, and I notice it when he inches himself closer to me, so close that I can feel the warmth coming from his breath against the skin of my nose. “When these results come back, we’re going to take what they give us, and we’re going to fight it, alright? I don’t care what it takes, we’re going to get you healthy again, we’re going to make sure that this disgusting thing does not destroy our family, and I’m going to be stood here right beside you every single second of the way. You got that?”

A small breath of air is released from my lips. As painful as the first part of all of this was, I knew that I had made the right decision because now there was no fighting this on my own. There was no more having to lie to Oliver. We are a team, and I was so thankful that he had assured me that through anything, a team is how we will always remain. “You have no idea, Ol, no idea...how much that means to me.” A sob escapes my lips after I’ve finished speaking.