Trustworthy help

52. Talk about it.

I'm out of breath as we reach the viering point of out trail. Corpse is already there and is holding out his hand to help me up the last steps. 'You'll love this.' He says. When I get to the top too, I look at the insane view. 'My god.' I breath out. 'Insane, right?' Corpse asks as he leans onto the railing. He looks at the landscape in front of us while I look at him 'yeah.' He turns to me and smiles. 'You don't even know how long I wanted to come here.' He says. 'I don't.' I say, now leaning on the railing too, and taking in the view. 'You changed my life in more ways then I can say.' He says. 'Became nice and hectic, right?' I ask with a laugh.

Me and corpse have been more friends then boyfriend girlfriend since the fight. It hasn't changed much at all, making me worry about us.

'Sometimes.' He answer with a chuckle.

He feels far away from me, now matter how close he stands. I wanted to come here and get over things that happened, but something is holding both of us back. It may be fear. Fear for getting close and then getting hurt again. Fear for being left on our own. Maybe it's a fear for getting into a fight again. But then there's one thing left, that I don't want to mention. The one thing, I hope wholeheartedly is not the actual answer.

'Are you okay to head on?' He asks. I take a deep breath, feeling my legs get a little heavy. 'Yes. Let's keep going.' I say as we start to walk again. 'It's getting chilly.' He says. 'Well it is September.' I say. He folds his arms across his chest 'I know.' He says. 'Canada is colder though, we'll have to start bringing coats.' I say. He nods in agreement.

We get back to the cabin and corpse starts the fire. He seems to really be enjoying playing with it. I watch him with sad eyes as I get stuff ready for dinner. I take out pots and pans and some ingredients for tonight's dinner. 'Fuck!' I turn as corpse curses. 'What's wrong.' I ask. He's holding his hand with his other hand, so I quickly walk over. 'What did you do?!' I say as I see the fire red skin. I grab his arm and pull him to the skink, turning on the tab and making sure I have lukewarm water. 'Here.' I say as I take his hand and put it under the water. 'Shit.' He says under his breath. I carefully hold his hand as I watch the water run over it. 'You're not allowed to play with the fire anymore.' I tell him. He stays quiet as I see a blister form.
He pulls his hand from me and turns away. 'Corpse.' He lets his arms fall to the side and makes both hands into fists. 'Hey, don't hurt..... yourself.....' tears fill my eyes as I look at him. What is happening to us? Why does this keep happening. Is it what I feared most? What if what's holding us back Isn't us being scared, but is permanent damage. I can't hold back the first sob that leaves my mouth as I turn around. I'm shaking as the thoughts of actually loosing him fills my mind. Are we done? Is it over? Will we ever go back to how we were.

We stand back to back on the opposite site of the kitchen.

'I don't......' my voice cracks as I try to control my sobbing, 'I don't want to loose you.' I cry out. I bend through my knees, kneeling on the floor as I'm shaking with emotion, unable to keep myself standing. 'Please...' I have never sounded more desperate as the beg leaves my lips. 'I don't know what to do, please figure it out.' I say. 'Shut up.' His voice sounds cold, like he's actually telling me to stop talking. 'Shut up. Why would I ever leave you.' He says.
I feel hands on my waist as I get lifted to my feet. Two strong arms wrap around my waist, tightly pulling me into his chest. My crying gets worse again as I hold on to his arms. 'I love you, Amelia. I love you.' He whispers to me. I now let go off his arm and cover my face with my hands. 'I don't want to loose you either. I'm sorry I've been so distant, past memories have been getting to me since the last fight we had.' He says. 'Why didn't you tell me.' I say in a high pitched voice as I'm trying my hardest to keep my voice under control. 'I'm not good at talking.... my bad.' He says. I can't help but let out a weak laugh 'Yes, your bad.' I say. He squeezes me a little tighter before kissing my shoulder. 'We'll be okay. I'll work on this.' His words calm my nerves but can't seem to stop my body from being tense and trembling. Corpse lets go of me and moves in front of me, frowning as he sees my face. 'I didn't mean to make you cry.' He says as he dries my tears. I take his hurt hand in my own 'does it hurt?' I ask. 'That's not what's most important right now.' He says. He gently holds my face 'are you okay?' He asks. I shake my head as I look away from him.

'Then let's talk about it.'