The only way to cope. Snape X reader

CHAPTER 3

CHAPTER 3

Y/N POV

My good mood was short lived. We sat down for lunch and I could see Harry Potter staring at me. I glanced up at him and he turned away, giggling to Ron. I wonder what that was for.
It carried on over lunch, them staring and laughing at me. What had I done? I got up, leaving my plate unfinished and walked out of the hall. I couldn't do this anymore. There was nothing anybody could say or do to make the pain go away. I kept walking. Faster and faster, not knowing where my feet were taking me as I stared at the ground and carried on walking through the winding corridors. I stopped as I hit something hard and fell backwards.
Snape. Out of anybody to walk straight into it had to be him didn't it?
"You know you are required to look where you're going when you walk?" He spoke slowly, not taking his eyes off me as he gripped my upper arm and pulled me up of the floor.
"Sorry Professor. I didn't mean to, I'll get going"
"No. You're coming with me, your dark arts class begins in 10 minutes and I'm not having you be late." He instructed. I sighed and followed him down to the classroom. Again, my own stupid fault really, I tripped on the steps down into the classroom. Rather than hitting the stone floor, my body was caught in something soft. I opened my eyes that had squeezed shut, expecting a hard impact. It was Snape, he'd caught me as I fell forwards. He stood me up and brushed the hair off my face. That was weird. I blushed slightly and looked away quickly. "Thankyou sir"
"You're going to hurt yourself one of these days" he said almost annoyed at me
"Too late for that" I whispered under my breath. He raised an eyebrow but didn't say anything. I took my seat and waited for the lesson to begin.

Snapes POV

I heard her trip behind me as we entered the classroom and before I could think I'd caught her. She looked disheveled. Worried. I brushed her hair from her eyes and it felt like electricity had shot up my arm when I touched her. This was unlike me. Unprofessional. I couldn't do that again. She muttered something under her breath and it made me curious. What was she talking about? I could understand her sadness of her family's passing but this was something else. Something deeper than that. I didn't say anything, I let her be, I knew she'd be too difficult today to try and get anything out of.

The rest of the class filed in and we began. I wanted to teach them the unforgivable curses. They'd had much trouble with this before Christmas. The last dada professor had them practicing the cruciatus curse on eachother. This had clearly distressed them and they needed to learn the real magic behind it. I plucked a snake from one of the cages and placed it on my desk.
"Now. No thanks to your previous professor you are all under the impression that these are acceptable curses to perform in a classroom on one another. It is not. These curses are unforgivable for a reason. To perform them on a creature is bad enough." I had their attention. This would teach them that it was not acceptable and unpleasant to witness.
"Crucio" the snake wreathed in front of me, making even myself think twice. The students squirmed. Finally, for once seeing the true impact it can have rather than playing about with it against their classmates.
"Avada Kedavra" a small green flash and it was gone. The class stayed silent. Clearly shocked by what they had seen.
"Now. Turn to page 36. I was 2 pages on the curses, and why they are unforgivable." The class got to work. I scanned my eyes across the room. A single tear dropped from Miss Y/L/N eye onto the parchment in front of her. Was it me? What I had done to the snake?
As the clock struck 4 I dismissed them. Stuck in my own thoughts about her. I dont understand this weakness for dwelling on past events. I guess I wouldn't ever understand her.

Y/N POV

To perform those curses in the classroom after the stuff we went through was a little too far today. To think back to that classroom before Christmas gave me shivers. I was a completely different person. We had had fun. We had enjoyed practicing these curses on eachother. Maybe not to their full extent but it was funny to watch people struggle on the floor. To think I was somebody who enjoyed that disgusts me. It hit home today how awful those curses are and I just prayed my parents didn't feel anything like that when they.....

I was tired. I trudged slowly back to the common room and got changed into some comfier clothes. Draco came in and smiled as he walked past me. That was nice. Not many people smile at me anymore. Jenny came in, bouncing off the walls as always and walked down to the great hall for dinner with me. There were many of us sat at the slytherin table today. My friends sat around me chatting for hours before we decided to actually have food. I sat there. Lost in my own head.
"Y/N!" I snapped back into reality.
"Yeah sorry what was that?"
"I said how was dark arts this term?"
I sighed and looked up at Anna.
"Not the best, we did the curses again. Properly this time. It's not good, I can't believe we were practicing them last term" we all looked at eachother in regret that we were all so up for it last time round.
I heard a snigger behind me. Potter and Weasly again. When would it stop.
"Can I help you?" I spoke angrily. This shut them up.
"Bloody hell it's the first words I've heard you say since you came back. You know you really need to get yourself together y/n. This moping around it isn't a good luck for you" Potter snapped at me.
I looked at my friends and they smiled, embarrassed for me.
"Are you going to eat that?" I looked down at my plate. I didn't want to eat. I didn't want anything but for the pain to stop.
"I'm not hungry" I muttered
"You haven't eaten anything since we got her Y/N. You need to have something"
"I said I'm fine" I yelled a little too loud, some heads turned to look and I walked off, wanting to just walk outside for a while. It calmed me.

Snapes POV

I could see we were going to have issues with her. I hadn't seen her eat a single thing since we'd been back at school. Of course, she'd been here over Christmas too. I wonder when she last ate anything. As she stood up, her cutlery rattled to the floor and she stormed out. The rest of the staff looked at each other. I rolled my eyes. We didn't have time for student drama. There was far too much to be getting on with.