The only way to cope. Snape X reader

CHAPTER 21

Chapter 21

Y/N POV

I couldn't sleep. I was upset that Severus was treating me like a stranger when he knew how I felt towards him. After finally drifting off to sleep a dream crept in. So real that it felt as if I were there watching it myself. It was Anna. They'd taken her. She was in a dark room and a woman with dark frizzy hair was bent over her, using the cruciatus curse. Her screams filled my sleeping mind as I tried to reach out to her. It was no use, they kept torturing her and I couldn't do anything. A whispy voice took over the dream
"Come...... come......." I felt myself scream in the dream, trying desperately to get to Anna but everything I did was useless. I was trapped in my own head, distraught with the tricks my mind was playing.......

Snapes POV

I'd been sleeping on the couch for weeks now. I couldn't get close to her if I wanted to protect her. If it became common knowledge of my feelings for her it would be too dangerous to keep her safe here. Something had woken me and it took a few moments to work out what it was. She was crying. I opened the door and walked in to see her writhing in the bed beneath the moonlight. Tears falling down her unconscious face as she murmured something indecipherable. Her cries got louder and she began to shake uncontrollably. It pained me to see her like this. I thought the Occlumency would stop them entering her mind but she was still obviously not in control when she was asleep. As I placed a hand on her shoulder she screamed. Sitting bolt upright. Her small shoulders shaking and tears falling. She leapt from the bed, falling over her own feet, running for the door.
"They've got her! They've taken her, they've taken her!" She was hysterical as I held onto her arms, preventing her from hurting herself as she flung herself towards the door.
"Stop it." I slapped her across the cheek, shocking her into silence. "What are you talking about?"
"They've- got An- A- Anna. They've got her and they're hurting her." The sobs racked her body as I pulled her to me, looking into her eyes.
"Y/N. That's what they want you to think. They know you'll go for her. It's a trick. It's not real." It worried me that whoever had entered her mind was skilled enough in Legilimemcy to manipulate the girl to see what they wanted.
"It's not a trick. It's real. Please let me help her please."
"Dont block me." She looked confused until I tried to look into her head, she let me in, as I rewatched what she'd seen, a cold feeling spread through my body. This was indeed real. They had in fact taken a student from the castle.
"Dont. Move." I walked quickly, locking the door behind me and enchanting it so she couldn't leave. Waking up Albus as fast as I could we crept quietly towards the girls Dormitories. Sure enough the girls bed was empty and her roommate none the wiser.
"This isn't good Severus. You must protect her. Don't let her leave your quarters. If they have indeed manipulated students to leave this castle, then she is not safe alone." It filled me with dread that he'd confirmed my suspicions. If they had begun to lure people from the castle it was only a matter of time before they got to her.

Walking back into my quarters I found her asleep on the couch. She'd clearly attempted to get out judging by the state of the place. With a flick of my wand everything returned to its place and repaired itself. I couldn't lose her. Not like Lily. The only way to keep her safe was to keep her locked in here and I feared this would only drive her insane. I left her sleeping and wrote a note for her to find in the morning. I needed some air. To clear my head and decide what to do next.....

Y/N POV

The harsh reality flooded my mind when I woke up. A piece of parchment caught my eye and I reached my fingers out to get it, bringing it back to where I sat on the couch.

Y/N,

I will be back later but for now you must stay inside. Do not attempt to leave, you will find that you cannot. For your own safety you are no longer permitted to leave these chambers. Until there is an end to these attacks and those responsible are in Azkaban, it is the only way we can keep you safe. Get some rest and catch up on your potions lectures, there are a stack of books in my office which I'm sure will be of great help.

S. Snape

I took a deep breath. Trying to calm my nerves before realising what was going on. I was under lockdown in here. With a man who couldn't bare to speak two words to me and that I was deeply falling for with no apparent date of when I could leave. One of my best friends had been taken and tortured by death eaters that were trying to get to me. It was too much for my heart to take. I cried heavily, letting the sobs rack my body before once again falling into a deep sleep.

I woke a few hours later to find Severus watching me sleep. I smiled at him but his face remained fixed. I must of looked a mess, still in yesterday's clothes, my hair matted around my face from my tears and I could only imagine how red and puffy my eyes looked.
"Severus. I'm scared."
All I wanted was a hug. For him to wrap me in his arms and to feel safe. I stood and walked over to him, only for him to look at me and leave the room. It was too much to take and I fell back into sobbing my heart out. Nothing was okay anymore. What was the point. At this rate I had nothing to lose if I just handed myself over. I took a cauldron and began to brew a sleeping draught. Something heavy that would allow me to sleep for a while and not have to deal with the pain of existing. It calmed me. Almost bringing a smile to my face as I worked. I enjoyed potions, something I knew I was good at. But potions meant Severus and Severus meant my heart felt like it was breaking. The quicker I could brew this the better. It was ready after a couple of hours and I wandered back to the bedroom, taking the whole vial to my lips. It worked instantly as I floated into the darkness.

It was the dream that woke me again. But what it showed me troubled me more than anything I had ever witnessed. I saw Anna. I saw the same death eater who had hurt her. Only this time, they killed her. A flash of green and my friend lay still. I woke, shaking and covered in a cold sweat. This was too much, I couldn't cope with this anymore. I slipped on my shoes, silently leaving the room and wandered down the dungeon corridors. Tears spilled from my eyes as I let my legs take me where they wanted. My lungs were burning and my legs felt heavy but they kept climbing up what I realised was the astronomy tower. I just wanted it all to stop. I cut my arms as I sat on the balcony, again and again, deeper and deeper but this time it didn't numb the pain. I screamed. A feral screech that I hadn't thought was possible for my body to make. It was all my fault. They'd taken her and they'd killed her because of me. She died because I didn't hand myself over. I cut deeper but it wasn't working. I just wanted the pain to end. I was rejected by the man I wanted, my parents had died, my friend had been killed and I was just left here. Floating about locked up in some dungeon. I couldn't do this anymore. I stepped over the railing at the top of the astronomy tower, leaning forwards over the edge with my arms clinging to the rail behind me. What was the point anymore? This was the only way to make it stop. I closed my eyes, my hair flowing in the cold October wind.
"I'm so sorry Anna........."

***Super sorry for the cliffhanger but I couldn't help myself 🙈 how is everyone doing? I hope you're enjoying what I've been writing so far! Please leave a comment and vote, it's always greatly appreciated 💖***