The only way to cope. Snape X reader

CHAPTER 10

Chapter 10

Y/N POV

It really hurt. Not my ribs, although, they reallyyyy hurt. But the way he was acting around me. I really liked him. I just wanted the kind, caring man that had looked after me all those weeks ago.
I had to carry on. Using books to distract me. I didn't sleep. I didn't eat. I just read. If he wasn't going to notice me for how I was, I'd make sure I was the smartest witch to walk these halls. Smarter than Hermione Granger even. I'd make sure I didn't need those dark arts extra lessons and I'd prove I knew everything I needed to know and more. One book had caught my eye. Shoved behind a shelf in the library. A potions book. "Property of the half blood Prince." It had many scribbles in but I took note anyway. Returning the book to its hiding place after I'd done. The days were getting harder. My thoughts harder to keep at bay. 

The next morning, as I entered Defence Against the Dark Arts, I was surprised to see the desks had been removed.
"Excuse me sir, but what exactly are we doing today?" Professor Lupin smiled at me.
"All will be revealed."
As the rest of the class joined me, a figure I wasn't expecting trailed in behind. Professor Snape.
"Now class. Today we will be practicing duelling. In case you should ever need it. Now, how about Mr. Potter. Come up here my boy." The Slytherin students sneered at him as he made his way up to the front of the room.
"Now what about a volunteer? No? Okay, Miss Grainger perhaps?"
"Excuse me Professor." Snape's silky smooth voice cut through Lupins and I turned to look.
"How about somebody from my own house? Y/N perhaps?" If looks could kill id of buried him 12 feet under. He knew Potter hated me. He knew I'd be embarrassed. He knew I wasn't very popular amongst the rest of the Slytherin house. I took a deep breath and stepped up to dual Potter. We began. I deflected all of his spells, using what Snape had taught me to my advantage. But he was also blocking mine. I needed something.
"Reducto!" He shouted and I was too slow. It hit me. Hard. I blinked, getting up slowly.
"Hah. Pathetic Mudblood!" He grinned, earning a chorus of laughs.
"Now now Mr Potter that's enough!" Lupin went to split us up but he'd riled me. He kept taunting me and I could feel a red mist coming across. I sent a flurry of attack spells to him and he deflected them all.
"Sectum Sempra!" I shouted but before the spell could hit, Snape pushed Harry out of the way and deflected the spell himself. It gave me a chance, I had a clear aim at Harry and he wasn't looking.
"Expelliarmus!" It hit him with full force. His wand flying up and into my hand as he flew back and hit the wall hard. Not getting up immediately. The Slytherin students cheered and pulled me into the crowd. Jumping me up and down, Cheering for me. Potter looked angry and Lupin not impressed.
"Dismissed." Lupin knew he'd made a mistake putting this duelling lesson on. He didn't expect what had happened. I was happy, my house were praising me, high fiving me. Paying me attention and I loved it. It made me feel good. As I went to walk away a hand grabbed my shoulder and pulled me backwards.
"Now where Miss Y/L/N did you learn. that. spell." Snape spat at me, his anger radiating off him.
"Wouldn't you like to know." I hissed back at him and snatched my arm away. Running off to be with my new found friends.

Snapes POV

I could of killed her. How she'd learnt that spell I would never know. God only knows what would of happened if she'd of hit Potter with it. She shrugged me off, clearly uninterested in what I had to say to her. I needed to know what she was thinking. If she was coping on her own. If she was keeping up with her work. If she's thought about me.
I sat at the head table confused. None of the Slytherin students had arrived for dinner. Albus looked over at me and I sighed. Getting up slowly. A large bang rippled into the hall, coming from the slytherin common room. Myself, Dumbledore and Mcgonagall stood up immediately, rushing towards the dungeons. As we got closer we could hear the music. They were going to get what was coming to them. As Albus opened the door I wasn't prepared for what greeted me next. The music was louder than I'd ever heard, every Slytherin student you could cram into the common room was in there. And in the middle there she was. Sat on the shoulders of two 6th years. They were chanting her name. Clearly impressed with her efforts against Potter this morning. The whole room shook. Every single one of them was jumping up and down to the music. Y/N sat on the shoulders of these boys. Her wand up, sending sparks flying and a bottle of some sort of alcohol in the other. Her tie hung loosely round her neck and her shirt was ripped off her shoulder. She hadn't even noticed our entrance. None of them had. I strode forwards, putting a stop to it but McGonagall placed a hand on my arm. I turned and Dumbledore whispered in my ear.
"Leave her. God knows she needs it." I looked up at her. That smile that lit up a room was back, the infectious giggle was bouncing off every surface and her eyes glistened. I hadn't seen her like this since before Christmas. We knew she loved to party but this was something else. It was a different girl to the one id held in my quarters a month ago. I sighed. Dumbledore was right. She did need this. She needed to feel some happiness and have people around her that she liked. Even if it was induced by alcohol.

Y/N

What a night. I sat up and immediately wished I hadn't. My head pounded and I looked around me. The common room was a mess. The chair id gone to sleep on was nearly destroyed. I was so embarrassed. Me. Out of all people I had started this last night. A year ago maybe I would of understood but right now it wasn't like me at all. I looked down at my watch. SHIT.

I was ten minutes late to Potions and I still looked a state from the night before. I ran to my dormitory to grab my robes, throwing them over my clothes from last night and patted my hair down, running down the corridors to Snapes classroom. I snuck in quietly, barely closing the door behind me, hoping he wouldn't notice. I slipped into my seat as he faced the chalk board.
"Finally decided to join us have we Miss. Y/L/N? Ten points from Slytherin for your tardiness." I rolled by eyes and put my head on the desk. Drifting into a dreamless slumber.
"It looks like you had. Quite. The night Miss." I book slammed onto my desk, jolting me awake. Snape loomed over me. A shiver ran down my spine.
"Detention this evening. Don't be late." He turned on his heel and ignored me.
"I'm already coming here for my dark arts lesson."
"It seems to me madam that you're quite the celebrity when it comes to the dark arts doesn't it? Your little performance against Mr Potter yesterday has given you quite a reputation. You won't be needing extra tuition from now on. Not from me anyway." He snapped angrily at me and I felt my heart sink.
That kept me going through the day. Looking forward to seeing him each evening.
I couldn't speak. Tears pricked my eyes and I stood up.
"Fine. " I choked out and he span to look at me. A tear ran down my cheek and I walked off. Locking myself in Myrtles bathroom. There was no chance I would be attending the rest of my classes today. I wouldn't cut myself. I wouldn't do it. Not over that pathetic man. But that was the thing. He wasn't pathetic. I needed him. I wanted the person I'd grown close to. I loved him......