The only way to cope. Snape X reader

CHAPTER 20

Chapter 20

Y/N POV

The days passed agonisingly slow. Something had changed between Severus and I and it worried me. He had barely spoken two words to me since that first night of practicing Occlumency. He hadn't eaten with me, hadn't really spoken to me and he certainly hadn't kissed me or slept in the same bed as me. I couldn't shake the feeling that I had done something. Had I been too forwards with him? What did he expect? He knew I liked him and he'd told me himself that he liked me too. I hadn't left his quarters for a fortnight unless it was to the great hall to get food but he had barely been in here at all. I spent a lot of time in bed or reading or occasionally he would test my occlumency skills when he bothered to show up. I was looking forward to the start of term next week. Hopefully I'd be able to spend some time with my friends and distract myself from the confusion my head was experiencing around this man.

It was around three in the afternoon when I decided to get out of bed for the day. I wandered into the living quarters, not expecting to see anything other than the empty room but was shocked to see Severus was sat reading. He didn't acknowledge me as I walked into the room so I decided against acknowledging him. Two could play at that game. I began pouring a cup of tea and could feel those dark eyes burning a hole in my back.
"You know it really is incredibly lazy of you to only just be getting up. And to not be getting dressed." Without turning I could feel his eyes run up my bare legs to wear my hoodie just cut below my pyjama shorts, giving the illusion I was wearing nothing.
"You know it really is incredibly rude of you to only just be deciding to speak to me after three days." I regretted my words instantly, as the silence filled the room. I turned slowly, nervous to meet his gaze. His eyes never left my face as he closed his book, leaning forward in his chair and raising an eyebrow.
"I suggest you watch who you are speaking to Miss Y/L/N." It was a tone he had often used to scold students in the classroom but he had never in my 6 years at Hogwarts used that tone with me. My hands shook as a shiver ran down my spine. What had I done so wrong? I wanted so desperately the man that had held me and kissed me nearly 2 weeks ago. I slammed the cup of tea down, splashing the contents over the worktop and stormed back into the bedroom. I could hear him following me and slammed the door behind me.
"I don't quite know who you think you are Miss Y/L/N but this attitude needs to disappear." I rolled my eyes and sank back into the mattress. Begging for the start of term to hurry.

I had never been so excited. I sat in the great hall waiting patiently for my friends to return, the laughter and the rumble of voices filling my heart with pure joy as I saw Anna and Jenny's faces appear at the Slytherin table. I would have to fill them in on everything that had happened and why I'd no longer be sharing a dormitory with them, but for now, I was content to just see them and have a hug I'd so desperately been craving for the past 2 weeks.
The sorting ceremony began for the first years and we cheered as we gained a handful more Slytherin students. I didn't once glance at Severus although I could feel his eyes piercing into me, I was just happy to be with my friends. Soon the feast began and , after filling ourselves silly I walked to the common room with Anna and Jenny.
"Y/N where's your stuff? And your bed?" Sure enough there were only 2 beds in our old dormitory. I sighed, sitting down on the corner of one of the beds and beginning the tale of everything that had happened over summer, leaving out the fact that I'd kissed Severus.
"Bloody hell Y/N you need to be careful!" Anna was clearly worried but I laughed it off. In that moment I felt like nothing could touch me. As I glanced at the clock it said 5.15pm.
"Oh shit I've got to go! Snape's going to kill me!" I sprinted from the door, running as fast as my legs could carry me, slamming through the door to the potions classroom and carrying on into the living quarters. A deathly stare was on his face as I panted through the door.
"You're late!" His voice made me jump as he slammed a hand down on the kitchen table.
"I was seeing my friends! Funnily enough it's not good for me to sit and speak to no one for weeks at a time!"
"You think you know what's good for you? You're pathetic. And weak. Get out of my sight." How could he be so cruel? I felt tears prick my eyes as I slunk back to the bedroom. If there was one thing I wasn't looking forward to it was potions first lesson tomorrow.

The morning came round quickly and I got dressed into my Slytherin jumper and skirt. Eating my cereal as I mentally prepared myself for the first lesson of the day. I walked out and into the potions classroom, taking a seat at the back of the room. Students began to pile in after breakfast and an excited chatter spread through the room, wondering what we would be doing today.
"Silence! Turn to page 64. I want two sheets on the uses of the ingredients on that page." He was so commanding when he entered a room, slamming the door behind him. I opened the book and began my work, barely lifting my head to acknowledge his arrival.
"10 point from Slytherin for incorrect uniform Miss Y/L/N." The class giggled. It was the first day of term and he'd taken points away from me. In fairness it was a mistake, I had forgotten to put my robes over the top of my uniform but was there any need for such a public announcement.
"I can go get dressed properly if you like. Professor." I spat at him, standing up quickly, my eyes glancing the door to his living quarters. Anger flashed in his eyes. He knew what I was up to. How embarrassing would it be for him if I were to stroll into his private quarters and grab my robes when nobody knew I was being kept in there.
"Sit. Down. Now." He growled. I did as I was told and kept my head down for the rest of the lesson, glad when we were dismissed and I could walk to Charms class, picking up my robes quickly as I went.

I sat at the Slytherin table during lunch, chatting quietly with Anna and Jenny when a hand touched my shoulder. It was Cedric Diggory.
"Hello Cedric." I smiled sweetly at him, I'd been feeling bad about the way Severus had been towards him at the ball.
"I was wondering if you'd like to sit with me for lunch?" The boy was sweet but I wasn't interested. My heart was taken already but Cedric could work to my advantage. I made a bit of a scene, collecting my books and moving across the to Hufflepuff table and a few eyes turned to look. One set of eyes in particular burning holes into the side of my head. If I wanted his attention I'd have to play Cedric like a pawn. I sat with him over lunch, laughing at his jokes and touching his arm every so often. Cedric was clearly into this, wrapping an arm over my shoulder. I took a quick glance towards the head table to see a look of disgust on Severus' face. Good. It was working. I felt a twinge in my head and realised immediately he was trying to look in, trying to see what my intentions were. It seemed he was his own worst enemy, for he had been the one to teach me Occlumency and therefore could no longer look into my head. I stole a quick glance again after I blocked his invasion to see him storming out of the room, his cloak billowing behind him.

It was past my curfew when I returned to Severus' quarters. I'd been in the library with Anna and Cedric. I walked in slowly, bracing myself for the onslaught of abuse I was about to receive. He said nothing. Watching me as I crossed the room to sit quietly on the couch, closing my eyes for a few moments.
"Where have you been?" It wasn't a question I had planned on answering but the severity of his voice made me worried if I weren't to answer.
"In the library with my friends."
"It's six o clock." Wow he could tell the time.
"Who were you with?" God what was with all the questions tonight?
"Some friends."
"What? Like that leech Diggory?" There it was. He was jealous. My plan had worked. This, although not a fun conversation was the most dialogue we'd had in weeks. I scoffed and turned the other way on the couch. I felt a twinge again. He was trying to get into my head. If I could block him entering my mind I wondered if I could manipulate my own thoughts so I could make him see something I wanted? It wouldn't hurt. I thought of Cedric's face and the way he'd kissed my cheek tonight as he hugged me goodbye. At the same time I opened up my mind. Letting Severus in. Judging by the way he threw the book he was reading to the floor it had worked. He'd seen Cedric in my head. I smirked, only to have the smile wiped off my face completely as a hand yanked me to my feet by the collar of my shirt.
"I suggest you start focusing on keeping yourself safe and not on prancing around with little boys. If you are late again to my quarters I will enforce that you don't get to leave this room again." He was seething, I could almost see the anger flowing off him as he dropped me. This wasn't the reaction I'd wanted. I only wanted him to love me. To care for me. To be as kind and as gentle as he had been all those weeks ago. I thought back to when we had danced together to the piano at his home. How happy it had made me. The happy memory brought a tear to my eye and i choked a goodnight and snuck into the bedroom.

*** Sorry this chapter is a little boring but I needed to add a little bit of background before the story can continue! I've got some good stuff coming up so stay tuned! Please vote and as always, I'm always open to feedback 💖***