The only way to cope. Snape X reader

CHAPTER 34

⚠️TW- Sexual assault and suicide

Y/N POV

I was broken. It had taken all of my strength just to nod my head when a group of Slytherin girls had begged me to attend the Hufflepuff party that evening. It was the last place on Earth I could think of wanting to be but it would, at least, bring a distraction to the pain of living. I couldn't understand why so many of my classmates were being kind to me. Perhaps it was that absence made the heart grow fonder or perhaps they were truly concerned at the fact I hadn't bothered to turn up to my classes or to eat in the Hall at all in the past week. I'd not had the energy to move so I'd lay In bed, barely existing. When the thoughts and the pain became too much, I'd taken to visiting Myrtles bathroom and silently, once the common room had cleared, I'd make my way out into a deserted classroom and take my emotions to the piano keys, hoping that it would relieve the suffering of my own mind.
Picking a long sleeved black blouse for obvious reasons, I paired it with a green skirt and an elegant pair of black heels. Why the Hufflepuffs had chosen to have an inter house party I hadn't discovered but it would make a welcome change to see the whole school mixing in a relaxed environment. A girl in the year below me linked my arm and practically dragged me along the dark dungeon corridors to the Hufflepuff common room. As I stepped inside I felt instantly overwhelmed. There was so much going on, the music was so loud, there were so many people. I gratefully spotted a bottle of Elf made wine and glugged a huge mouthful, glad of it warming my insides as quickly as it did. I hadn't planned on getting drunk at this gathering but a few drinks would surely help to forget about the agony my heart felt and the pining I had for Severus.

I'd been sat by the fireplace for a couple of hours now. Not quite taking part in the dancing and chaos that had consumed the room but content to sit and watch. I had been joined by a Ravenclaw boy in the year above and we had chatted quietly about Potions and Quidditch. Quidditch had never really interested me but it had seemed quite important to the Ravenclaw boy. I hadn't managed to catch his name but I knew he hung around with Luna Lovegood at times. This had instantly set my mind at ease when he'd approached me. Luna was down to Earth and a kind witch, which must mean he was along the same lines if he hung around with her. The wine had clouded my mind and I was glad of it for I had forgotten, if only for a brief glimpse of time, the pain I was going through and it felt nice to be back to myself, attending a party and talking with other students about school. That was why, when the Ravenclaw boy asked if I wanted to step outside with him that I agreed. I was in need of some fresh air and the chance to talk alone with the boy seemed appealing if it meant I could make a new friend.
My legs swayed ever so slightly as I stood up and my head rushed to catch up. I knew I had drunk more than I had intended and it seemed to all come at once after I'd got to my feet. The Ravenclaw boy laughed loudly and gripped my upper arms to steady me before proceeding to take me by the hand and lead me into the deserted corridors of the castle.

It was a cold evening and the chill in the air had begun to seep into my bones as I let the Ravenclaw boy lead me further and further away from the Hufflepuff common room. By this point the wine had well and truly hit me and my balance was somewhat questionable as I descended the steps he was leading me. I felt calm and at peace for the first time in weeks as he took my hand and chatted vivaciously about his Quidditch skills and some outrageous rumours that had been spreading about Mr Filch. Before long I found myself outside the Ravenclaw common room with the boy who was quite clearly hoping to keep me lingering by the doorway. I was in no mood to object and leant with my back against the wall as he continued his everlasting flow of conversation. Laughter was being carried down the corridor and my eyes fixated on a girl with bright blonde hair, wearing a Ravenclaw tie loosely around her neck on top of her party clothes. She was walking toward us, clearly destined for her common room when I felt the boys hands roaming above my waist. Before I could even object, his mouth was upon mine and his hands were groping my body. I was too shocked to react as his hands made their way under both my skirt and my blouse. Despite my drastic efforts to push him off me, I was completely overpowered as he took complete advantage of me. The more I struggled, the harder he pushed himself against me until my head smacked the stone wall behind me hard enough to cause black spots in my vision. The blonde girl had caught sight of us and as she walked towards me I felt an immense feeling of gratitude that this boy would be stopped. That was not her intention. Her face scowled as she pulled the boy off me before slapping my face hard. The motion caused me to hit my head once more as she spat at me and dragged the boy away with her.
I'd been used to make someone jealous. I felt dirty. I felt cheap. And above all I felt completely taken advantage of. This whole time he'd been leading me away to run his disgusting hands over my body as his girlfriend watched.