The only way to cope. Snape X reader

CHAPTER 26

Chapter 26

Y/N POV

It was my touch that came back first as my body began to regain consciousness. The silk sheets beneath me, the feel of the pillows piled around me. The scratchy fabric of the bandage around my rib cage. Ow. The dull ache of what I assume was a broken rib. Next came sound. A gently tinkling noise that seemed to be getting ever so slightly louder as my brain started to work again. Next came my sight. The sunlight from a window was warm and comforting on my arms that lay on top of crisp white sheets. Slowly my eyes were adjusting and they followed where the sound was coming from to a dark figure, sat hunched at a piano in the corner. This room really was beautiful. And huge. It wasn't somewhere I'd ever been before but it felt calm and it felt safe.

Snapes POV

"You know. I've always played that song a note higher than how the music is written. It's sweeter I think." My heart leapt. She was awake finally and clearly well enough to comment on my music skills. I turned to face her, her skin illuminated in the sunlight where she lay sunk beneath many pillows, a smile, so innocent breaking across her face as she recognised me.
"Is that so? You always were one to bend a method to suit your needs." Her smile increased as I walked towards her, sitting lightly on the edge of the bed next to her. As she tried to push herself to sit up she winced, clutching a hand at her side where her rib was clearly giving her grief. Sinking back down in defeat, her brown eyes scanned my own as I found my fingers tracing the edge of her face.
"Is Harry okay? It's all my fault I should of let them have me, I should of got out before anyone got hurt! Is everyone okay?" Placing a finger on her lips, she quietened instantly as I began to speak.
"Potter is fine. You, not so lucky. A broken rib and some nasty bruises but you'll be glad to know your fever has decided to leave in the past three days you've been asleep."
"Three days! Oh my god Severus, are the others okay? Is Hogwarts still alright?"
"Hush. Everything is as it should be. You were brilliant Y/N. You saved Harry and many lots of first years I hear."
"Well. It seems all of those Dark Arts lessons weren't wasted on me after all." I felt a smile cross my lips. Even in a time like this her humour didn't fail her.
"I know what's coming. I know I have to give myself up. And I've got a plan. I just- Promise me. Promise me right now. That if I do have to die. That you'll be there with me. I don't want to go alone." In that moment I had never felt such adoration for someone as I did her. It would never come to that. None of us would allow it, but the selflessness, the willingness to die so others could live reminded my heart so strongly of another. It couldn't be that she was reborn into this girl but as I looked into those eyes. All I could see was Lily. Although, my heart didn't pine for her anymore. It was truly content with this girl in front of me. I took her hands in my own and looked her square in the eyes.
"I promise you. It's not coming to that. Yes, there is a war coming Y/N. And yes, you may have to do some things that are difficult and against everything your mind is telling you to do. But we won't let you die. We won't lose you." She didn't need to answer me. I could tell she understood.
"Where are we?"
"A safe house. The ministry put us here. The Order have come together ready. But I must move you from here, we must go somewhere safe, until the time comes to fight."
"The order? As in the order of the Phoenix?" Her eyes widened and I chuckled.
"Yes dear. They're waiting for you to wake." At this, the impatience in her had grown and with a heavy sigh she pulled herself up against the headboard. Wincing at the pain but with a determined look in her eyes.
"Can I meet them?"
"My dear, it is them, who want to meet you."

Y/N  POV

It took me a long while to walk down the stairs. The pain in my rib taking my breath away and my body was stiff and sore from where it had taken a beating with the cruciatus curse. I could hear voices on the other side of the door as I stood with Severus in the hallway, suddenly exceptionally nervous to walk in. I gripped the side of his cloak between my fingers as he walked through, shielding me behind him. The talking stopped and what felt like a million faces turned to look at me. Lupin was there, along with Mr and Mrs Weasley and the twins, Moody was there and then my eyes fell on the infamous Sirius Black, sat beside Lupin with a huge grin on his face.
"My my, she has risen indeed. Nice to meet you Y/N. Sirius Black." I took his outstretched hand and shook it gently, pain shooting through my ribs caused me to gasp as Severus pulled a chair out, helping me to sit down.
"Nice to meet you Mr. Black. I imagine you are thrilled to be walking as a free man now your name has been cleared." Had I gone a bit far? I thought I was being polite but nobody spoke for a few long seconds. It didn't seem to bother Sirius however, winking at me as he spoke.
"Never been better."
"We all know why we're here. The girls in danger and they want her. We're not giving in without a fight. Without a leader they're making rash decisions. It was stupid for them to attack Hogwarts, it will of depleted their numbers drastically-"
"We are not heading into another war-"
"Maybe we should-"
The voices all speaking over the top of each other was overwhelming and I gripped Severus' cloak tighter. Noticing my unease he cleared his throat, the room silencing themselves and turning to face him.
"We will stick to what Dumbledore has told us to do on order of the Ministry. She comes with me back to Hogwarts and is hidden for the next 4 weeks of term. Over Christmas she stays there also. We have a source that says they're planning an attack on New Years Eve. The location is yet unknown but we have until then to prepare. Y/N knows of the danger and we will make sure she is ready. If anyone wants to disagree with the plan, I suggest you take it up with Albus." He spoke to then as if commanding a class, earning an eye roll from the twins who strangely, had kept quiet. Most likely knowing better than to speak out of turn in the present company.
"Bet you're loving this hey Severus? A nice girl to cook and clean and add some homely touches to what I imagine is, a very dull dungeon." Sirius' words made me smirk and he winked again at me from across the table. The look on Severus' face however, wiped the amusement off my lips before It could linger.
"I suggest you watch who you're speaking to Black. Wouldn't want to end up with the dementors again now would. We." The icy tone radiating off Severus made a shiver run down my spine as both Sirius and Lupin looked furiously back at him. What was going on with these three?
"Now Y/N. You have been practicing a Patronus charm with me during your Dark arts lessons and I must applaud you to carry on practicing. There will be Dementors stationed at Hogwarts until these people are stopped and I must warn you, they're nasty creatures. You don't want to give them an excuse to attack you.  Make sure you can conjure your Patronus and that you're good at it." Why did Lupins words fill me with dread? It was all becoming too real and too dangerous. I didn't dare say anything other than nod at him. My nerves threatening to take the better of me.
Sensing my awkwardness, Severus pushed a hand on my shoulder, signalling for me to follow him from the room. With a quick smile followed by an agonising wink, I followed him out and back up the stairs. Exhausted from the effort, I climbed awkwardly back into the bed and sighed heavily. It was going to be a long few weeks and I knew I'd have to be fit and know my stuff if I was going to take part in this battle. It was overwhelming, I felt like the walls were closing in around me; I wasn't ready for something this big yet. Jolting me back into the room, Severus' hand had cupped the side of my face. I was falling harder and harder for him each time I stared into those dark eyes.
"You're going to be okay. I won't let anything happen to you." I was glad of the reassurance, needing something to settle my nerves.
"Can you read to me? Or that hidden talent of piano playing you kept from me could be put to good use." His eyes flashed with amusement.

It had been two days since I'd woken up and I was itching to do something, despite the dull ache in my ribs, I was feeling okay, still worried about what was coming but none the less, I felt I was handling things okay. The looming figure in the doorway brought me back from my thoughts. A small smile pressed my lips from here I sat up in the bed, a book by my side.
"Are you strong enough to apparate?" In all honesty I didn't know. It was something I'd done many times, gaining my licence at a young age thanks to some strings my father had managed to pull at the ministry. It was only a broken rib, surely it wouldn't affect me too much? But then again I didn't fancy being splinched.
"Yeah. If you keep hold of me. I've only just got better I could do without leaving part of me behind." The amused look on Severus' face was replaced with that of concern.
"We need to return soon Y/N. There's only so many of my Potions lessons that Lupin can cover." Of course lessons and life at Hogwarts was still going ahead but it came as a bit of a shock. It was evident on my face as Severus took a step into the doorway.
"The students had a week to recover from the attack on the castle. But you must understand that of course lessons must continue. It is a school after all." Well it was obvious but it didn't make me feel any better. Everyone was going about their normal lives whilst I was preparing for a battle. I lifted my feet out of the bed and stood up, my rib aches slightly but it was getting better each day. Taking the outstretched hand, we apparated, the whizzing sensation making me feel sick. I squeezed my eyes tighter as we appeared outside the gates at hogwarts, the dementors surrounding the entranceway, making me feel suddenly weak. Like I'd never be happy again. Severus dragged me away and through the gates, preparing to walk up the long drive towards the castle. We were met by a scurrying Mcgonall as we strolled through the large oak doors. Gripping my shoulders tightly, she pushed me frantically towards the dungeons. What was the issue?
"Hey- what's the hurry!"
"Miss Y/N. Many of the students and their parents are deeply worried about your return to Hogwartd after the attack. The only way we can keep you here is if nobody is aware that you're back. You cannot leave Severus' quarters." What the fuck?
"Okay alright but at least let me see Jenny first! She's my friend, she'll want to know I'm alright." A grave look passed Mcgonagalls face as her eyes met Severus'. We'd reached the door to the potions classroom and I was hurried in quickly, the door locking silently behind us.
"Miss Y/N. Your friend is dead. She was injured gravely during the attack last week." Whatever Mcgonagall said next didn't register in my ears. I could see her mouth moving but the room was silent as I retracted back into my head. First Anna and now Jenny. They were both dead and it was all my fault. Still in my trance, I pushed through both of the professors in front of me, tears running down my cheeks and strode towards Severus' private quarters, flinging the door open before slamming it shut behind me.....

***Hope everyone is doing okay 🥰 I'd like to give a special shout-out to Lupins_whorecrux being super kind and voting soo much! This is my first fanfic so it's so lovely to know people are enjoying it 💖***