The only way to cope. Snape X reader

CHAPTER 27

Chapter 27

Y/N POV

I didn't hear the angry scream that escaped my mouth as the door shut behind me. The first I knew about it was both Mcgonagall and Severus opening the door behind me, urging me to be silent. The glass jars and the mirrors in Severus' quarters shattered, exploding glass around us. Had I done that? I took a shard of glass, hysterical by this point, more objects shattering around me as I dragged the glass across my wrist. Strong arms grabbed my wrists, snatching the glass out of my hands and pinned my arms by my sides as I struggled against them......

Snapes POV

The glass objects shattered drastically around her. I'd never seen her so distressed and cursed Minerva for revealing the girls death in such a way. Picking up a shard of glass, Y/N dragged it across her wrist. How could she be so stupid? I gripped her arms, holding them against her as she struggled against me, screeching and fighting with every second that passed.
"Stop it now." My voice was low, shouting at her would only make it worse. Not that me speaking low to her had any effect either as she thrashed against the restraints my hand had held her in.
"Enough!" Gripping her face, I forced her to look at me, those hazel eyes filled with pain and anger.
"Y/N stop it. You've got to be stronger than this." As if suddenly defeated, she relaxed against me, sighing as she buried her head into my chest. Minerva looking thoroughly unnerved left quickly, locking the doors once again behind us.

Y/N POV

I didn't get out of bed for days afterwards. The depression wrapping its way around me as I lay there with the curtains closed and staring mindlessly at the ceiling. When I finally did summon the strength to get up, it was only to Severus' kitchen to get a drink or maybe a bite of an apple before slinking back into my hole. He didn't push me in the days that followed, knowing I needed time to grieve and get my head around what was happening to me. My mind was so consumed with the death of Anna and Jenny and the battle that I knew I'd have to face that I didn't even think about my relationship with Severus. I knew I'd fallen for him but every time we got a little bit closer, something terrible happened and it was back to the student teacher relationship we'd maintained for the last six years. Although he'd left me alone, he had been stacking the work I'd been missing in a huge pile in the corner of the room. The homework, work from other classes as well as Potions was mounting up but I couldn't see the point. I could be dead in a months time so why did it matter if I completed the work or not?

An open page of a book that had been left by Severus' desk caught my eye. It was a Friday so I knew Severus had finished teaching as my watch told me it was lunchtime. The potions classroom would be free all day and he would likely be spending the afternoon collecting ingredients in the forest for the next week of lessons. The page in the book was on Felix Felicis. A luck potion. A thought sprung into my head. If only I could take this potion I could avenge their deaths? Even if I walked right into the lions den I would be okay. I'd succeed in my endeavours. A new feeling washed over me. Determination. It lit a fire in my dampened soul. If I could make this potion, then next month when the time came, everything would be okay. My motivation came flooding back. I trotted back into the bedroom and collected the endless books and work I'd fallen behind on. The classroom would be quiet all day, what better time to work. I could catch up on everything as well as hopefully brew the Felix Felicis. The only issue was the six months brewing time it needed. If only I could speed this up somehow? I'd always had a talent for bending potions methods to suit my needs but was this too far? Would it even still work if I altered the method? If I added or took away ingredients? I had time to experiment with it today so why not? The motivation flooded me, rushing my into the classroom and pulling out the essays, practicals and potions ingredients I needed to catch up on for my classes. It was going to be a long afternoon.