The only way to cope. Snape X reader

CHAPTER 9

Chapter 9

Snapes pov

I distanced myself from her all day. Barely glancing at her in potions class. She was still weak, tiring easily in her lesson but I couldn't look at her. I had to end it here. I'd help her with the dark arts and teach her potions but that was it. Professor Lupin was now teaching DADA so I would only be required to tutor Y/N in the evening. It hurt to distance myself from her. But I couldn't risk it.

Y/N POV

Everything had changed. Snape barely acknowledged me in the classroom. Our extra classes were short and to the point. However, I was getting better at the dark arts. Between them, Lupin and Snape were really helping. I was struggling without him though. I didn't get it. Why did he have to be so cold? I'd plucked up the courage to apologise to Anna and Jenny for my absence in the previous weeks. Things were okay I threw myself into my studies and read constantly. Keeping my mind busy as stopping could be catastrophic. My heart ached to be noticed by him.
"Y/N are you bloody listening?" Anna caught my attention at the dinner table. I'd be staring into space again, not eating and not taking part in the conversation.
"Mm yeah sorry, what did you say?"
"I said are you excited for Professor Lupins class tomorrow? I heard we're facing real life boggarts."
"Yeah sounds great." I gulped. I knew exactly what or rather who was going to appear as my boggart. It wasn't something I was looking forward to.

Snapes POV

I watched her at every meal. Noticing she wasn't eating again but her arms had stayed clean. I saw her gulp at the table and a worried expression crossed her face. I delved into her mind for the 4th time this week. So naive. She had no idea. It was boggarts that were worrying her. How strange, what could her boggart be?

***time skip to after dinner****

She never knocked anymore. Just walked in and laid out her dark arts book.
"Ahh Miss Y/L/N. Tonight I thought we could practice facing a boggart. Ready for your class tomorrow with Professor Lupin."
"I'm not facing my boggart in front of you."
"And why would that be?" Her eyes sent daggers at me. I wouldn't give in.
"Because SIR. It's private. " her voice full of sarcasm.
"Nothing is private. Not. To. Me. Now stand up. Expelliarmus." I flicked my wand at her as she stood up. She was ready, she deflected the spell with ease.
"Getting better. I see my lessons aren't entirely wasted on you." I smirked at her, only to be met with jet black eyes.
"Stupefy!" I dodged her counter spell with ease as her eyes narrowed.
"Now. What would you give to a werewolf in order for them to keep their human thoughts?"
"Wolfsbane SIR." She was angry tonight.
"Good. You're learning. Now. Why are you so worried about your boggart? I'm not that scary."
"Will you get out of my bloody head!" Shed realised. I'd been reading her mind all week. "Don't think I don't know that you're reading my mind. I don't know how and I don't know when and I don't know how to stop you but it's annoying and quite frankly rude. Now goodnight." She picked up her robes and stormed out of the classroom. It was nice to see some fire back in her. I worried about her. How was she doing? Really? I hadn't managed to delve far enough into her brain to get there yet. And like she said. It's rude to pry.......

Y/N

I had no patience for him tonight. I was worried about my boggart and didn't know what to do about it. I'd been reading dark arts books in the library and I knew there was no way I could avoid seeing it. I drifted off, anxious for the next morning.

I couldn't face breakfast. I was too nervous. I walked into Lupins classroom and stood in line behind the others. Waiting to face whatever was going to come out of that cupboard. There were accramantuals, werewolves, vampires, many different boggart forms of the other students. It didn't help me feel any better as I stepped up to face mine.
It started to form. The dark cloak, the dark hair, the- "RIDDIKULUS!" I stopped it before it could reach its true form, turning it into a clown on ice skates. I laughed. For the first time in weeks I laughed at it. Glad to of not seen what would truly face me. I couldn't go through that again.

Snapes POV

I'd watched her again at dinner. She wasn't anywhere near as preoccupied as the previous evening. Glad to of faced her boggart. None of us did find out what it was, she'd transformed it before it had chance to take its true form.
As I sat waiting for her tutoring tonight I signed. If only things could be different. I kept thinking back to those 4 nights she spent with me. It filled me with warmth to remember it.
"Evening." She slumped into a chair. Looking exhausted.
"Up. Ready your wand." I wouldn't go easy on her tonight. She needed to dual. Ready for her exams.
"Expelliarmus!" I blocked her.
"Reducto! Incendio, protificus totales" I blasted at her, she hit each one with ease.
"Protego!"
"Alarte ascendre!" She wasn't ready. She flew into the air and crashed into the desk behind her.
"Are you o-"
"I'm fine!" She got up, clutching her side. I went to go towards her to check she was okay.
"Bombarda!" Her aim was inaccurate and I was glad of it. I wasn't prepared.
"Enough. Are you okay? Your side-"
"I said I'm fine!" I'd hurt her. She grimaced as she stood up straight, leaning on the table for support.
"Y/N-"
"Look. Can you leave me alone. I told you I'm fine."
"Y/n stop. You're not fine. Don't think you can fool me girl. I've watched you. You're not alright. Now I don't know what you're up to or what you've been doing instead to but I'm glad to see your arms have healed."
"Like you care." She scoffed and turned to leave, her hand still gripping her ribs. I didn't try to stop her. She's clearly understood that I wanted to distance myself and had followed suit. But it stung. Stung when it shouldn't. She's just a student.