The only way to cope. Snape X reader

CHAPTER 38

***Im warning you now: NSFW 😉***

Y/N

Severus hadn't pressured me in the coming days since I'd been told I'd have to spend hours of my week discussing my suicidal nature with Lupin. Frankly, I was glad he'd left me alone.
Despite my initial anger at the thought of not being able to complete any of my studies, I had to admit that the time to myself had been beneficial. I had spent hours at the piano, or reading, or watching Severus grade papers. I felt calm for the first time in months. Able to gather my thoughts without them streaming wildly around my head.
The relationship between Severus and I had also had time to blossom in the days after I'd woken up surrounded by my Professors. It was easy, effortless being here with him and something I wished would never have to end. The knowing glances across the room, the forehead kisses as I fell asleep and the easy conversation had made me feel whole again. How broken I had been when I thought I had lost him had been replaced by a little glimmer of hope. We weren't back to normal. No. Far from it. There was still an air of awkwardness from time to time and I was desperate to know his thoughts. If he still loved me the way he had done before?

It seemed I wouldn't have to wait long to find out. It had been a warm, peaceful day in the castle and I had taken to sitting in Severus' sitting room to read through some of his own notes. Mesmerised by the slanted, perfect handwriting that had shaped my potions essays into the work they were today, His notes were perfect, they had captured every essence of the potions ingredients and their individual properties; some of which I had never seen in any of the books that were kept here at Hogwarts.
"You are sweet when you are concentrating."
His silky voice snapped me back into the room as my eyes met his own in the door, a small smile creeping its way into the corners of my lips.
"Your work interests me."
Was that a smile threatening to break through that cool mask?
"Yes. Well. I shouldn't have thought you could learn much from there. You are after all, uniquely gifted in the art of potion making."
Was that a compliment?
My my, what had I done to earn this?
"There are always things to learn, and as I expected, your notes do not disappoint."
I closed the leather bound book between my fingers as I sat up straight from where I had become slouched in the armchair normally occupied by Severus. His gaze didn't leave my face and all I felt in that moment was love for him. A love that I wasn't sure was reciprocated as strong as it had been before I broke his trust, but I knew it was there somewhere. He simply would not tolerate my presence in his quarters had it not been.
"You're in my chair."
It took all of my efforts to conceal a giggle as he hovered in the door frame, expecting me to collect the identical pile of notebooks off of the arm of the chair and move to the couch by the fireplace that had so often been a comfort to me of an evening. How far could I push him i wondered, desperate for some sort of fun after the hours id spent on my own whilst the rest of the school made the most of the April sunshine and their classes. So I didn't say anything. I arched a brow and reopened the book in my hands, taking caution to the age of the pages and how perfectly handwritten they were.
Severus cleared his throat and still, although trying desperately not to chuckle once more, I kept my eyes on the page in front of me, rereading the same sentence over and over again for it was not making any sense in my distracted head.
"Dont. Ignore. Me."
My resolve shattered and a smirk broke out into the practiced sternness of my face.
"As I said. You're in my chair."
It didn't matter to me in that moment whether I actually was irritating him or whether he had decided to play along because I was having far too much fun. I licked my lips before casting my eyes up from the page to where he stood, upright and stoic in the doorway.
"Indeed I am. The couch by the fireplace happens to be free though."
He slightly tilted his head at my obvious defiance and I could see his eyebrows knit together. An expression he often wore in the classroom when a student had dared to speak out of turn.
"Move."
"Make me."
A flash of something I couldn't quite catch flashed in those black eyes and with two strides he had crossed the room, placing a hand on either side of the armchair, caging me in, his face inches away from my own.
"Dont. Test me, little girl."
The shiver that ran down my spine made me weak as he leant over me, his breath tickling my face as those dark eyes stared into my soul.
"Why not. PROFESSOR?" I knew I was treading on thin ice but I wasn't prepared for the hand that had flown to grip my throat. My eyes met his and I couldn't contain myself as I bit my lip, staring into those black eyes.

All at once, our lips collided, his fingers still wrapped around my throat as I gasped into the kiss. His tongue pressed against my lips, finally breaking through the barrier and entwining my own tongue with his. My god how I'd longed for this for months.
My fingers fumbled with the buttons on his robes, tugging furiously at the black fabric, his own hands running up under my sweater to rest on my breasts.
"Sev-"  I couldn't resist the moan that escaped my lips.
"Tch tch little one. So impatient." His hand squeezed me through my bra as he teased me with his words. I wanted him so badly. NEEDED him.
The kiss deepened and I found myself pressed against the back of the armchair and Severus' chest, still, it wasn't close enough, I wanted him closer. My fingers found themselves rubbing the growing bulge in his trousers, edging him closer and closer to what I wanted.
Before it could go any further however, my wrist was caught in an iron grip. I could barely catch a breath before I found myself being pulled roughly over his shoulders, being carried through to the bedroom. The cool fabric of the bed met my bare skin as my sweater had somehow been discarded in the previous room. This had seemingly made the both of us even more desperate to shed the remaining layers of clothing and soon enough, between the kisses, I found myself naked and completely in the control of the man who towered over me. His kisses made their way down my neck, down my collarbones, leaving tiny little nips behind as he trailed lower and lower down my torso. His breath hovered over where I wanted it most, teasing me, making me whimper in protest.
Barely containing myself as both his tongue found my clit and his fingers entered me simultaneously, I gasped, pulling his dark hair through my fingers. His fingers moved slowly before speeding up, thrusting in and out of me whilst his tongue kept up its steady assault on my clit. It was becoming far too much, far too quickly. I could feel the knot in my stomach getting tighter and tighter, begging for a release.
"Severus. Please." It did nothing to deter him, only increasing the speed of his fingers as they moved even quicker inside of me. I could feel myself getting closer and closer, becoming harder and harder to hold it together.
"Sev, Severus I'm going to-" my breath came in pants as I fought to keep some sort of control over my body.
"Good girl." Upon hearing this, I lost all levels of control and succumbed to the feeling he was giving me, finally reaching my climax, screaming his name as my fingers twisted in his hair.

I came down from the high to see his face hovering above mine, his lips crashing once more onto my own. I pulled him closer, wanting for us to be one, to never have to be separate again.
It seemed we wouldn't have to as I felt him slide into me, taking my breath away as I tried to adjust to the size of him. Slowly, he began to thrust inside of me before quickening his pace. He was a man of few words but the occasional moan that escaped him turned me on more than anything else could. The pace constantly increased and once again I could feel myself losing control.
"Sev, I-"
"Shush, be a good girl." His hand had returned to my throat as he somehow thrusted into me even quicker, even harder than before. All too soon, we both finished again, collapsing in a tangle of arms and legs against the sheets.

Snapes POV

I could never get used to the feeling of her being in my arms. How I'd gotten so lucky to be able to find love again. How this girl had managed to breach the defences id set up so carefully I had no idea. It had come from nowhere yet I was incredibly sure that what I was feeling was real.
"Severus-" her voice came from the comfort of the duvet In which she'd tucked herself after our encounter, her head laying on my chest, the golden brown tumbles of her hair falling gently around her face.
"Shush my love, go to sleep."
Despite the early hour, and the lack of dinner, it was clear she was tired and needed to sleep. It helped her. She often woke in a happier, more spirited mood and I knew she had not slept much in the last twenty four hours, her reading of the notebooks of given her seemingly dragging her away from anything, including sleep.
I watched the rising and falling of her shoulders against my body, how her eyelashes stood out in a dark contrast against her pale skin when her eyes were shut and how completely still and perfect she looked. I had missed being this close to her. Missed being able to be this vulnerable with someone. Missed her.

***There we gooo, I hope you all enjoy it💖***