The only way to cope. Snape X reader

CHAPTER 8

Chapter 8

Snapes POV

It was a long time before she woke up again. After lunchtime the next day her eyes fluttered open, taking in her surroundings. I watched her. I had barely left her since I'd found her that night. She sat up slowly, still pale but more alert than she had been.
"How long have I been asleep?" She yawned.
"19 hours.... in total." I was confused. She was my student and I knew that. But I also cared for her. My thoughts battled one another.
Y/N stretched her arms and sat on the edge of the bed. Her feet slowly touched the floor and she held onto the bed frame for support. I watched her, my muscles poised to catch her if she fell.
"I was wondering if I could use the shower?"
"No. " My tone was too authoritative. As if she were in my classroom.
"Can I ask why?" She was out of breath standing up and that was proof enough.
"I don't trust you. I leave you alone and you hurt yourself. Not forgetting the fact you can barely stand Miss Y/L/N. " she sighed, disappointed that I'd declined her request. I wasn't going to risk it. Not yet.
"Can you stop calling me that." She snapped, annoyed I'd spoken to her like one of her classmates.
"No. Get back into bed." I was angry. I was trying to distance myself from her to try and help the difficult feelings I had but it was not an easy task.
"I'm fine. I can walk!" She pleaded and took a few steps towards me. Before the sentence had barely escaped her lips she'd fallen, I didn't have to move, she fell straight onto me. I caught her, her hands against my chest, she'd landed in a heap on top of me. Her scent filled my nostrils. Vanilla and spiced apple. It shocked me. My amortenia held this smell. It couldn't be. Could it?
I pushed her off me, so she was sat beside me on the couch and looked straight into her dark eyes. Her eyes were teary again, upset that she couldn't walk yet. Before I knew it, my hand was on her cheek, my thumb moving in small circles.
"You're okay, you just need to rest." My whisper registered and she relaxed. I helped her up and into the bed again, my head filled with a thousand thoughts. It couldn't be her. Surely?

Y/N POV

I didn't know what to think. This stone cold dungeon bat was so kind to me. It triggered something inside me and it was scary. He wouldn't feel the same way. As he helped me back into the bed he brought a bowl of soup out with him.
"You need to eat. You'll feel better." I took the silver spoon from him and ate slowly. Before I could finish my 5th mouthful, a wave of nausea hit me. I paused, putting the spoon into the bowl and swallowed slowly.
"You need to eat more than that. " Snape commanded, now coming to sit on the edge of the bed.
"I can't, I'm going to be s-" before I could finish Snape had almost read my mind. He'd picked up the metal bin beside the bed and gave it to me before I threw up. He held my hair back and rubbed my back as I continued to be sick.
"Good girl, it's alright." I was upset I just wanted to feel better. Snape helped me lay back down, taking the soup and the bin away and returning with a potion.
"Anti-sickness. Drink it. Your stomach will be upset from the blood replenishing potion." I could barely breathe from exhaustion so taking the potion from him was almost too much.
"Severus- uh Sir, I'm sorry. "
"Severus is fine, as long as it's not in the classroom." A small smirk was appearing in the corners of his lips.
"What's going to happen to me?" I was scared and I almost didn't want the answer.
"I don't know Y/N. But you need to start helping yourself. Theres only so much I can do.
Your potions grade is outstanding currently but the dark arts need a lot of work." He carried on and I had to cut him off.
"No, I mean when I don't need to stay in here with you anymore. And I have to be on my own out there again." The tears filled my eyes as I worried about how I'd feel if I had chance to be on my own.
"We'll sort it." A grim look covered his face, unconvincing me of what he said.
"Go to sleep now, you still need to rest" I fell into a dreamless slumber. It was calm.

Snapes POV

I didn't know what I was going to do when she went back to her dormitory. I felt uneasy about the situation.  I'd have to speak to her. Make sure she would be safe.
It was a long day teaching. Only 2 potions out of 5 classes were brewed correctly and Y/N had slept for the whole day. After I dismissed my final class I walked into my chambers to find her finally awake. What was she doing? She hadn't yet noticed me. She was unwrapping her bandages, looking at the scars on her wrists.
"Not pretty is it." I strode into the room. Hoping to make an impression on her.
"Not at all." She muttered. 
"Do you think I'd be able to go for a walk tonight? I'm feeling much better?" I didn't want to say yes but I knew she would be able to walk at least.
"Yes. But I will walk with you." I sounded annoyed but I wasn't. I couldn't wait to be with her. She took the hand i offered and climbed out of the bed. We wandered for an hour on the edge of the forest. I could tell she was getting tired but she wouldn't say anything.
"Come. You need to rest now." She followed me back towards the dungeons and into my chambers.
"Would I be able to shower today?" I couldn't deny her, she'd managed to walk for an hour so I'd expect her to be able to shower by herself.
"Yes. But you leave the door open. I don't trust you to be locked up somewhere by yourself. I'll be grading papers." She looked embarrassed, knowing this was all her own doing.
A small time later she came back in, and sat down at my desk with me, the vanilla and spiced apple scent of her filling my nostrils as she looked over at the essay she hadn't had to write today.
"You will sleep here tonight and go to your lessons tomorrow. I will see you again tomorrow evening for our dark arts tutoring. " I swept out of the room, leaving her puzzled as to why I was so cold towards her. I used legilimency to enter her mind and could see she was just as confused about how she felt as i was.

Y/N POV

I was scared as I fell asleep. Scared about what would happen after my final night in his quarters. I didn't want to be alone. I was scared that my mind would take over and I'd do something dangerous again. These thoughts filled my head as I drifted off to sleep.......

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