The only way to cope. Snape X reader

CHAPTER 22

Chapter 22

Snapes POV

The click of the door woke me. I sighed, walking to the bedroom door to find an empty bed. What was she playing at? As I began to search the corridors for her, a sense of dread washed over me. Surely she wasn't stupid enough to hand herself over. It was the scream that alerted me to where she was. A sound I hadn't heard anyone make before. I ran, taking the steps of the astronomy tower 2 at a time to crash into the back of Albus and Lupin. They too had heard the scream and had clambered the steps. Lupins hand grabbed my arm as I reached the top, preventing me from taking any further steps. My eyes focused in the moonlight to a figure leaning over the balcony. One hand on the rail, the other holding a wand out in front of her. Y/N. Her hair was flowing in the wind as she faced us, the grip of her fingers the only thing keeping her from falling. Her arms were covered in blood and her face full of tears.
"Y/N please. Come back over the rail." Dumbledore pleaded with her but she didn't react, her eyes darting between us. Remus took a step forward but she jerked her arm quickly, her wand pointing at him. He raised his hands up in submission and took a step backwards.
"Dont. Come near me." Her voice was choked, hoarse and I could see her trembling against the rail.
"They killed her!" The screech coming from her was painful. Her tears flowing freely, nobody dared move for fear of what she would do to us or herself.
"Come Y/N. Let me help you." Dumbledores hand reached out towards her. Her eyes followed his arm, watching he didn't make a move towards her.
"Stay away from me!" Her screams were getting more intense, her fingers trembling on the rail. Any minute I could see her falling. I tried to look into her head but it was well and truly closed. I couldn't see a thing. I could see Remus trying to move around her in my peripheral vision. If I could keep her distracted for long enough for him to get close we may be able to get her.
"Y/N.... come down."
"Oh don't act like you give a shit all of a sudden!" She'd turned on me, anger crossing her pained face. I should of seen this coming. That me pushing her away to keep her safe would only end in her own downfall.
"Y/N. I'm trying to protect you."
"Oh spare me the fucking pity party! You don't give a shit about me!" Her cries were getting more desperate, her hand shaking harder on the rail. Remus was getting closer to her, if only I could keep her attention for longer. The blood was running down her arms and coating her fingers, mixing with the rail. She needed to come down sooner rather than later, the blood mixed with her trembling hands wouldn't hold for much longer.
"Y/N please come down. This is what they want." Dumbledores soft voice seemed to fill the silence as she looked around at what was happening.
"She's dead. She's dead because of me." The anger had started to fade and the tears fell heavier, a look of despair on her face.
"If I wasn't here, Anna would be alive!" I was getting desperate, I couldn't lose her like this.
"Expelliarmus!" Remus' wand flew to the floor. She had seen him after all. Had been watching him this whole time.
"I swear if you come any closer I'll let go."Her hands were rattling the rail and I couldn't possibly think of anything else I could do to stop her.
"Y/N please. We can talk about this. You know I care about. Please don't do this." My voice was desperate and something flashed in her eyes before turning icily dark.
"Care about me? You haven't spoken to me in weeks. You go from being the kindest person to this stone cold being. How do you think that feels!" It was true. That was exactly how I'd been. But it was to protect her. But also to protect my own heart. I couldn't have it broken again yet here I was, about to break the thing that fixed me.
"Y/N. Please don't do this. I care about you. And yes, maybe I've gone about it the wrong way but this is not the answer. I'm trying to keep you safe. Merlin knows you've been a thorn in my side all year but with that thorn comes a rose. Something so pure and delicate that I'd be a fool to not water it. Please step down." Something was registering in her brain. I could see the cogs turning in her brain as she took in what I'd said.
"Severus...." She was lowering her wand a millimetre at a time.
"I've got you. Come down." She dropped her wand over the rail onto the stone floor of the tower and placed her other hand back onto the cool metal, sinking herself against the railings and sobbed. Remus being the closest grabbed her and pulled her back over where she sat trembling on the floor. I swooped over to her, wrapping her in my cloak and pulling her to my chest as her tears soaked into my shirt.
"Shhh. I've got you." My hand lay against the back of her head as she sunk deeper into my chest. Remus backed away and with a nod to Dumbledore he too began to descend the steps of the tower. I scooped her up and began the walk back to the dungeons, her cold body pressed against me as she cried quietly. I set her down on the couch, taking her wrists gently from where they were clutched against her chest.
"Please stop hurting yourself. If you ever need to do this I want you to come to me. If I'm teaching or if I'm asleep you get my attention. I can't keep seeing you hurt yourself." I muttered quietly to her as I cleaned and wrapped her arms, a routine I'd become accustomed to in the past year. Her eyes were empty and staring past me, she'd become numb to everything that was happening around her.
"I don't want to die-"
Her tiny voice broke my heart as it dawned on me the fear she was experiencing.
"I won't let them hurt you." I pulled her into an embrace and she sighed deeply against me, the vanilla and apple scent of her washing over me as I gripped her tightly. I would never let go of her again.

Y/N POV

I was scared. I didn't want to die but I didn't want anybody else to either. Especially because of me. His steadiness calmed me as I sat cuddled into him. Why had it taken nearly losing me for him to show me he cared? The sun had begun to rise but I could barely breathe I was so exhausted. Knowing that classes would begin in a few hours I stood up slowly, Severus' eyes on me the whole time.
"You're not going to your classes today." I met his gaze. I desperately needed something to occupy my mind but was also glad that I wouldn't have to concentrate too hard.
"My school work?"
"You will come to potions but complete your work for other classes during the rest of my classes. If you need any help I will teach you after hours. You're not to be left alone anymore Y/N. You need to be somewhere I can keep an eye on you." That wasn't too bad, at least there would be something to stimulate my mind during the day. Even if I did have to listen to Snape teaching potions to the other classes all day. I nodded and went to get my uniform only to find Severus had appeared next to me.
"Not today. You need to rest." His hand was already on the door knob to the bedroom and I climbed into the bed gratefully, falling asleep almost instantly.

Snapes POV

The classes exhausted me. After the excitement of the night before I was less tolerant of the idiotic behaviour I had to contend with. I was relieved when I could dismiss my final class and strolled through to the bedroom to find Y/N still fast asleep, her bandaged arms laying peacefully on top of the duvet. She looked beautiful. I sat on the edge of the bed, stroking her arm. The big brown eyes fluttered open and a small smile crossed her lips as she caught sight of me.
"I'm sick." Her voice was raspy and as if on queue she sneezed. I couldn't say I was surprised that she'd caught a cold standing on the top of the tower barely dressed for the weather last night. I reached forward, placing a hand on her head.
"You've a temperature."
"I know. I feel awful." As I watched her carefully I could see her face glisten in a cold sweat and her body shiver gently under the covers. I stood up, walking to my office.
"Not a pepperup potion please. It tastes grim and it will make me sick." I couldn't disagree with her. Instead, taking a seat beside her in the bed, pulling her over to me so she was sat resting against my chest. Her eyes were wide with shock as I did so but her grin was enough to consent to the physical touch.
"Severus. You won't hurt me will you?" Why did everyone think this? I'd hurt Lily so it was only natural that I'd have a reputation of hurting the ones I loved.
"Y/N you have nothing to worry about."
Her sigh was gentle as she sneezed again, cuddling up closer to me. Her small body turned to face me as I stroked her hair, those brown eyes filling my own black ones. I couldn't resist her and placed a gentle kiss on her lips. A shocked sound escaped her lips as I pressed into her harder. A hand reached up to my face and pulled me down towards her, I didn't resist, savouring each and every second I had with her.........