The only way to cope. Snape X reader

CHAPTER 23

***NSFW WARNING!***

Chapter 23

Y/N POV

This is what I'd wanted. The physical affection and the man who had been kind to me all of those weeks ago. His lips pressed harder into my own and I pulled him down towards me, wrapping my arms around his neck. The kiss deepened, becoming more feral and desperate. Merlin knew I would never let him get away with leaving and being cold to me again. My hands walked themselves up his chest as he kissed me harder, his own hands running down my sides.
"Sev, you'll get sick if you kiss me."
"Shush." The dominance in which he spoke made a million butterfly's surge into my tummy at once as his hand travelled up under my sweater to rest on a breast. I groaned and pulled him in closer, I could feel a smirk on his lips as he continued the kiss. Before I even knew what was happening my sweater had been deposited on the floor and his hands were travelling down to my waist, playing with the hem of my shorts. I pushed my hips up towards him, pleading him to go further but it had the opposite effect. His lips left mine and he removed his hand, looking at me with a grin on his face.
"Now what have I told you about being patient." His voice was silky and made me more desperate for him as he returned to his previous position. His fingers brushed my skin beneath my shorts, teasing me. Ugh I wished he'd just touch me where I wanted it most.
He tutted, pulling away once more.
"My what explicit thoughts you have." I wasn't surprised that he'd managed to get into my head, all control had left my body the second he'd touched me. I blushed, embarrassed that he'd read my so inappropriate thoughts but he pulled my face to look at him as I broke eye contact.
"Now my darling. What was it you'd like me to do?" He was playing with me, his fingers teasing me but not giving in to what I wanted. I groaned once more, pushing myself into him.
"What was that?" I couldn't take it anymore, trying to reach his hands so I could force him to do what I wanted.
"You are indeed rather demanding little one. Now. Tell me what. You'd. Like me to. Do." My god he knew how to drag it out, myself getting more and more excited as his voice lingered in my ears.
"P- please. Touch me." He gave in, reaching his hand down into my shorts. I gasped loudly as he touched me, his fingers rubbing small circles on my skin. My fingers dug into his shoulders as I moaned loudly. He slipped a finger in and again a gasp left my lungs, he moved in and out slowly, gaining pace all the time.
"Sev- Severus p- please fuck me." His eyebrows arched as he quickened the pace of his fingers.
"Now now little one. All in good time." I felt my eyes rolling into the back of my head as the feeling in my tummy got tighter, begging for release.
"Sev I'm gonna- uh -please." My body tightened as it got the release it had so desperately needed, my eyes rolling back into my bed.
"Good girl." I lay there panting as he stroked my hair. I could of lay there with him forever but alas my body had to ruin it by sneezing. All of a sudden my cold had come back and I felt awful again. Severus chuckled, pulling a blanket over me.
"How about a bath? Perhaps that would help you feel better?" I could only nod, my words not able to come out of my mouth as I still trembled from what had just happened. I never wanted this to end, he could be so caring and it made him even more attractive to me.

As I stood up to go to the bath my knees gave way, still not strong enough after our earlier activity. Severus chuckled and placed an arm around my body, walking me to the bathroom. Despite how happy I felt, I was sick and it was draining me, to the point I'd considered taking the pepperup potion. The bath warmed my bones and as I wandered back into Severus' bedroom in thick, fluffy pyjamas, a hot cup of tea was placed into my hands as he lit the fireplace.
"I don't feel good."
"I'm not surprised. Come here, I need to check your arms."
It embarrassed me every time this was mentioned. It made me feel weak, not able to handle my own emotions. I looked to the floor as he unwrapped the bandages and cleaned my arms, too ashamed to look up at him, my cold now turning to a fever and causing a gentle shiver to run through my body.
"It's alright you know? You don't need to be ashamed." I still couldn't meet his eyes as he tended to my arms. I felt pathetic, not helped by the fact I knew I had a stuffy nose and swollen eyes. This fever really was starting to affect me and I just wanted nothing more than to get into bed. Of course it was my own fault. Standing on top of the astronomy tower in nothing other than shorts and a vest top in the cold October air. My head felt cloudy and pounded against my skull. I picked up my mug and stood, walking over to the bed. I must of become disorientated with my sickness and dropped the mug through my fingers, hot tea and fragments of the mug smashing across the tiles. I bent down to pick it up but fell forwards, my balance not quite itself and ended up on the floor. Severus picked me up, placing me under the duvet in the bed before piling more blankets on top of me. I'd always got upset when I'd had fevers, ever since I was young so I wasn't surprised when the tears left my eyes despite me not wanting them to. Severus placed a hand of my forehead, cursing at how hot I was and wiped my tears away. He disappeared for a second and came back with a glass full of ice cubes.
"You're okay, you just need to rest, you've just caught a chill." His thumb brushed my tears away and reached for the glass, taking an ice cube and placing it in my hands.
"Suck on these, they'll cool you down." I fell asleep quickly, my body needing to rest desperately as Severus told me I wouldn't be doing any school work tomorrow either, his hand stroking my hair gently....

Pictures filled my mind as I slept. I couldn't work out what they were at first, just flashes of dreams and memories, nothing in particular. But then the images became clearer, focusing my mind. A woman I'd never seen before lay dead. And then a man. And then a child. And then a family. They were muggles but what were they doing in my dream? I'd never seen these before. It dawned on me all of a sudden and a cold feeling washed over me, jolting me awake. They were taking muggles. Killing them to get to me. To make me hand myself over. My head was pounding, my fever still raging but I had to react. Severus's arm was loose around my waist and his breathing was heavy. Good. He was asleep. As carefully and as quietly as physically possible, I slipped from underneath his arm, quietly putting on a pair of black jeans and my dragon hide jacket. This was ending tonight. My brain pounded against my skull, my fever burning my face and my body shaking but I had to go on. Retrieving my wand from the drawer next to the bed, I slipped out of the door quietly, walking down the corridors towards the entrance to the castle. It was peaceful at night, the moonlight shining in through the windows and the occasional hoot of owls settled my nerves.
"Y/N?" A soft voice but one I knew too well.
"Professor Lupin I-" I didn't know what to say. I was dressed in outdoor clothes with my boots laced up to my knees, there was no hiding what I was about to do.
"Don't be stupid Y/N. You don't need to do this." He walked towards me, his eyes glistening in the moonlight.
"No one else is going to die because of me." I stood my ground, my wand still lit up in my hand.
"And you think that if you hand yourself over that nobody else is going to die? That nobody else is going to get hurt? This entire castle would come after you Y/N. Snape would move the earth to get to you and most likely die trying. Don't do this Y/N. If not for yourself, then for Severus. For the students in this castle. If you go now, they win. The castle becomes weak, everyone will come for you and you know better than anyone the devastation that a battle could cause. Don't do this Y/N. You're smarter than this."
He was right. I knew full well what could happen if I went but I couldn't let anyone else die for me. If the death eaters wanted me, something needed doing. The longer we waited the more they were going to lash out.
"I need to end this Lupin. You all keep saying that the ministry are closing in on them but they're not are they? They don't have a clue where they're hiding or how to get to them. Even if they used me as bait to draw them out at least it would be something. I've lost everything sir, the least I can do is offer myself up so that everyone else can be safe."
"It is selfish. Severus has had his heart broken once and you're about to do it to him all over again. Tonight is not the night. Go back to bed, and we can discuss this with Dumbledore and Severus in the morning. Now, I have classes to prepare for tomorrow. I will walk you back to Severus' quarters, I trust you will not be so stupid as to go behind my back? Tonight is not the night." Everything he said made sense and I knew it. If I was going to help take them down not only would I need to be fully recovered but have some sort of plan as well. What was I thinking? Running out into the darkness on my own. Lupin took my arm and led me toward the dungeons.
"You're very hot Y/N."
"I'm sick sir, caught a fever the other night." It was true that I really did feel dreadful, wishing I'd of stayed back in the clutches of Severus' arms.
"Come. Have some tea and chocolate with me whilst I prepare for my morning lessons." What was he doing preparing for lessons at 3am? I followed him anyway, sitting in a comfy armchair in front of a fire in his office, grateful for the steaming cup of tea he'd handed me.
"Eat. It will help." The chocolate he handed me was also received with thanks and the sugar instantly made me feel better about life. I pulled a blanket over me that had been placed over the back of the armchair as I watched Lupin sort through papers for the morning. My eyes began to droop as my illness caught up with me once more. The warmth of the fire comforting me as I succumbed to the darkness.

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