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【𝐓𝐇𝐈𝐑𝐓𝐘 𝐒𝐈𝐗】
(this chapter does deal with severe panic attacks. please read the very beginning of the chapter at your own risk!)
*.·:·.✧ ✦ ✧.·:·.*
"EVERYONE UNDERSTAND?"
Himari wasn't sure. Her face had little to no colour in it and her hands were shaking. Part of her wasn't sure whether she wanted to cry or throw up or curl into a ball and pretend that the world she lived in didn't exist.
Time felt as though it had passed her in a blur, seconds melting into minutes, minutes melting into hours and hours melting into moments that just didn't make sense to her. She felt dizzy and lightheaded, having to lean on the table in front of her just to catch her breath.
She felt a warm hand on her back and could hear someone speaking her name, but she couldn't quite make out who it was. She felt as though her head had been pushed underwater and it was being held there. Metaphorical water was flooding into her lungs, burning her chest with every breath she took. Her head pounded and her arms shook and for some god awful reason, she just couldn't stop shivering.
"Hey, Himari. Himari, c'mon." She felt another warm hand place itself under her chin, raising her eyesight from the table to the face swimming in front of her.
Three Hanges. Since when had there been three Hanges?
"Breathe with me, kiddo. In through your nose and out through your mouth, okay?" Hange sounded distant, as though they were standing a million miles away. Himari's legs buckled beneath her and she felt that warm hand on her back catch her around the waist, stopping her from crashing to the ground.
Was it always going to be like that? Would every day hurt just as bad as the last? Would every day bring more bad news that piled on Himari's shoulders? She felt as though she were carrying the weight of the entire world on her back and she was tired. She was exhausted.
Hange's hands travelled up to cup Himari's cheeks, forcing her to look straight at them. They breathed in through their nose before exhaling deeply through their mouth, their eyes unmoving from Himari's pale face.
In a desperate attempt to push her head above the sensation of drowning, Himari copied their actions. She could hear her heartbeat thudding in her ears and her blood rushed angrily through her veins, sending uncomfortable warmth to every part of her body.
She wasn't quite sure when she became aware that it was Armin's comforting hand on Himari's back. She became increasingly aware of every slight noise in the room - every rustle of someone's jacket, every crinkling of paper, every sniffle or cough. She could feel the humidity smothering her and suddenly, the feeling of hands on her body made her feel as though she were suffocating.
