Bungo Stray Dogs // Incorrect Quotes

1

Chuuya: Fitness tip: never stop pushing yourself. Some say 8 hours of sleep is enough. Why not keep going? Why not 9? Why not 10? Strive for greatness.
Dazai: Next time you're working out do 15 push-ups instead of 10. Run 3 miles instead of 2. Eat a whole cake instead of just a slice. Burn your ex's house down. You can do it. I believe in you.
Atsushi: There were so many mixed messages in that I can't-

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Akutagawa: In light of what you did for me, you can hug me for four to five seconds.
Atsushi: FORTY-FIVE SECONDS?!? :D
Akutagawa: No! Four to five seconds!
Atsushi: Too late!!!

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Poe, struggling to keep upright in 1-inch heels: Yeah, I-I don't really think heels are for me
Ranpo, pointing at them and walking flawlessly in sparkly golden 6-inch heels: WEAK.

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Kunikida: What the fuck is wrong with you?!
Dazai: Wow, you could start with a 'good morning'.
Kunikida: Good morning. What the fuck is wrong with you?!

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Chuuya: How did none of you hear what I just said?
Akutagawa: I've been zoned out for the past two and a half hours.
Atsushi: I got distracted about halfway through.
Dazai: Ignoring you was a conscious decision.

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Kunikida: Do you take constructive criticism?
Dazai: I only take cash or credit.

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Chuuya: Go to Hell
Dazai, tearing up: I wish I could

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Poe: Sorry it took me so long to bail you out of jail
Ranpo: No it's my fault, I shouldn't have used my one phone call to prank call the police

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Akutagawa: *Accidentally hits Atsushi in the face*
Akutagawa: *Trying to decide between saying 'I'm fucking sorry' and 'Are you okay'*
Akutagawa: ARE YOU FUCKING SORRY?!
Atsushi: What's wrong with you?!

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*Everyone is standing around the broken coffee maker*
Kunikida: So. Who broke it? I'm not mad, I just wanna know.
Everyone:
Atsushi: ...I did. I broke it.
Kunikida: No. No, you didn't. Ranpo?
Ranpo: Don't look at me. Look at Yosano.
Yosano: What?! I didn't break it.
Ranpo: Huh, that's weird. How'd you even know it was broken?
Yosano: Because it's sitting right in front of us and it's broken.
Ranpo: Suspicious.
Yosano: No, it's not!
Dazai: If it matters, probably not, but Kyouka was the last one to use it.
Kyouka: Liar! I don't even drink that crap!
Dazai: Oh really? Then what were you doing by the coffee cart earlier?
Kyouka: I use the wooden stirrers to push back my cuticles. Everyone knows that, Dazai!
Atsushi: Okay let's not fight. I broke it. Let me pay for it, Kunikida.
Kunikida: No! Who broke it!?
Everyone:
Dazai: Kunikida... Junichiro's been awfully quiet.
Junichiro: rEALLY?!
*Everyone starts arguing*
Kunikida, being interviewed: I broke it. I burned my hand so I punched it.
Kunikida: I predict 10 minutes from now they'll be at each other's throats with warpaint on their faces and a pig head on a stick.
Kunikida:
Kunikida: Good. It was getting a little chummy around here.