Dazai: Uh, I think I got your lunch. *Holds up a note that reads: 'I am very proud of you. Love, Akutagawa'*
Atsushi: Oh yeah. I didn't think this was for me. *Holds up a note that reads: 'Be good. For the love of God, Please be good.'*
...
Atsushi: Hey Kyouka, have you seen the photographer?
Kyouka: Nope. Have you seen the meat tenderizer?
Atsushi, confused: What?
Kyouka, grabbing the meat tenderizer out of the drawer: No reason, cute girl things!
---
Junichiro: Question. When they shot Bambi's mother, did you find that a sad moment...at all?
Ranpo: I'm sure she's mounted on a nice wall in a fine home somewhere.
---
Dazai: *dies*
Naomi: Timer starts now! When are they coming back? I say two months!
Kunikida: Bullshit. One month.
Junishiro: Nah, half a month.
Atsushi, sobbing: WHAT ARE YOU DOING? DAZAI JUST DIED!
Ranpo, scratching chin in thought: One week.
---
Dazai: Q's first detention, I'm so proud.
Chuuya: Whoa, back up. Why did they get detention?
Dazai: Because they're an idiot.
Elise, terrified: They can do that??
---
Fukuzawa: What's your body count?
Dazai: Do you mean sex or murder?
---
Atsushi: Some people ask why. Dazai asks 'Why not?'
Kunikida: I ask why a lot.
---
Higuchi: Bro-
Gin: No, no, hold up, rewind.
Higuchi: My tongue was down in your throat just a second ago and now you're calling me bro??
---
*Atsushi and Akutagawa are in a car teetering on the edge of a cliff*
Atsushi: oh my god, Akutagawa, backwards!
Akutagawa: Really, Jinko? I thought I might go forwards into the river, I thought that would be a fun thing to do.
---
Atsushi: Like they say, "If you can't beat them, curl up in a ball and protect your organs."
---
Atsushi: You remind me of the ocean.
Akutagawa: Because I'm deep and mysterious?
Atsushi: No, because you're full of salt and you scare people.
---
*the TV is freaking out*
Yosano: Don't worry, you have to treat an electronic like you treat a patient on life support.
*unplugs the TV, then plugs it back in again. nothing changes*
Yosano: Yeah, that didn't work with my grandma either.
---
Kunikida, seeing a banana on the car seat: What the FUCK??
Kunikida, buckling the banana up: Fucking buckle UP, it's the LAW!
---
Poe: Ranpo, can you help me? All of my clothes keep disappearing for some reason.
Ranpo, wearing a hoodie that's 5 times bigger than his size: Spooky.
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Bungo Stray Dogs // Incorrect Quotes
FanfictionI will usually post 10-15 incorrect quotes per chapter. Hope you enjoy :) (ships are included, check the tags for them.)
