Chuuya: When I was your age-
Akutagawa, mocking Chuuya: When I was your height.
Chuuya:
Chuuya: Listen here you little shit-
---
Kyouka, grinning: I have a knife!
Atsushi: Put it down, Kyouka.
Kyouka: Make me! *sprints away*
---
Akutagawa: You deserve a reward for putting up with me.
Atsushi: You are my reward.
*meanwhile*
Dazai: You deserve a reward for putting up with me.
Chuuya: True, you can be really fucking difficult.
---
Atsushi: The last time I went to an urgent care clinic, I checked off 'excessive crying' on the symptom list, and then the nurse got really confused and said that was meant for babies.
---
Akutagawa: What is this!?
Atsushi: That's the weight of guilt. Give in to the nice side. Help those unfortunate, and make the guilt go away, my friend.
Akutagawa: Ow! Make it stop!
Atsushi: Surrender to your kindness, Akutagawa. It's nice to be nice.
Akutagawa: Your guilt is strong, my friend. But it is no match for the power of my selfishness!
---
Q, holding an antique bottle: Is this whiskey or perfume?
Chuuya: *grabs and chugs the entire bottle*
Chuuya:
Chuuya: It's perfume.
---
Kunikida: What's wrong with you?
Atsushi: Off the top of my head, I'd say low self-esteem, a lack of paternal affection, and a genetic predisposition for anxiety and depression.
---
Ranpo: When do you usually go to sleep?
Poe: Whenever I collapse is entirely up to the gods.
---
Chuuya: ARE YOU-
Q: Fucking.
Chuuya: KIDDING ME?! YOU-
Person C Fucking.
Chuuya: IDIOT!
Tachihara: ...What was that?
Q: Ane-san banned Chuuya from swearing, so I'm helping him out.
---
Dazai: *pulls back the curtain while Chuuya is showering*
Dazai: Hey did we - stop screaming it's me - did we run out of Cheerios?
---
Q: I dare you to kiss the next person who walks into this room.
Akutagawa: Screw that, I'm not kissing any of you.
*Atsushi walks in*
Akutagawa: Fine, I'll do it. Rules are rules you know.
---
Kenji: *on the phone* Hey Kunikida, do you know my blood type?
Kunikida: Of course, it's B-.
Kenji: Oh, I guessed wrong. Excuse me, nurse-!
---
Kunikida: I just had a long talk with Atsushi and Akutagawa about hitting and now they are yelling "it's my turn to perpetuate the cycle of violence" before hitting each other.
---
Atsushi: Treat spiders the way you want to be treated.
Dazai: Killed without hesitation.
YOU ARE READING
Bungo Stray Dogs // Incorrect Quotes
FanfictionI will usually post 10-15 incorrect quotes per chapter. Hope you enjoy :) (ships are included, check the tags for them.)
