Bungo Stray Dogs // Incorrect Quotes

32

*Chuuya and Dazai peaking on Akutagawa's room*
Chuuya: Honey, there's no one else there.
Dazai: There was. I saw girl bumps and hair.
Chuuya: It was probably just his Chewbacca doll.
Dazai: It's not a doll. It's a plush action figure.
Chuuya: Well, as long as he's sleeping with that thing, it's the only action he's getting.

---

Akutagawa: You know what else is pretty?
Atsushi: Oh! Stop...
Akutagawa: Well, I was going to say Venus, but sure, let's go with you.

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Kyouka: I said I wasn't gonna cry.
Atsushi: And you're not?
Kyouka: Yeah, It's called strength.

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Kunikida: Trouble at 2 o'clock!
Atsushi: *looks down at their watch*
Atsushi: Now, how do you know that?

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Kyouka: What's the scariest horror movie you've ever watched?
Yosano: IT.
Kunikida: Annabelle.
Dazai: Paranormal Activity.
Ranpo: High School Musical. All throughout high school I was scared that everyone was gonna randomly get up and start singing and dancing, and I would be the only one who doesn't know the words.

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Poe: I'm gonna mix a can of Red Bull with seventeen shots of espresso in a fishbowl and then chug it while Kids by MGMT plays in the background so I can perceive twenty-three spatial dimensions and fight my own soul.

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Dazai: The first time I ever got upset in front of Chuuya, he put his arms around me and it was so awkward that I had to ask him if he was hugging me or reaching for something on the shelf behind me.
Chuuya: I was doing both, for your information.
Atsushi: The first time Akutagawa hugged me, it was such a disaster we didn't make eye contact for, like, a week after.

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Kunikida: Dearly Beloved, we are here today to remember Ranpo, taken from us in the prime of life; when he was crushed by a runaway semi, driven by the Incredible Hulk.
Ranpo: Aww, you knew my favorite cause of death.

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Dazai: honk.
Chuuya: WHAT.
Dazai: HONK.
Chuuya: WHAT DOES HONK MEAN THIS TIME YOU WHIMSICAL PIECE OF SHIT?????

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Kunikida, teaching Atsushi to drive: Okay, you're driving and Dazai and Akutagawa walk into the road. Quick, what do you hit?
Atsushi: Oh, definitely Akutagawa. I could never hurt Dazai.
Kunikida, massaging their temples: The brakes. You hit the brakes.

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Chuuya: I still have no idea how I'm attracted to you...
Dazai: Yeah, well, you're stuck with me, and no takebacks, honey.

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Ranpo: I just wanna be called cute 21/7.
Poe: Why no 24/7?
Ranpo: Snack breaks.

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Dazai: Is it still visible? Where Chuuya slapped me?
Kenji: Your face looks like a don't walk signal.
Ranpo: Your face looks like a photo negative for the hamburger helper box.
Yosano: A palm reader could tell Chuuya's future by looking at your face.
Kunikuda: The phrase 'talk to the hand cause the face ain't listening' doesn't work for you, because the hand is your face.
Dazai: ...A simple 'yes' would've sufficed.