Kunikida: *seductively takes off glasses*
Kunikida: Wow...
Atsushi: *blushes* Haha... what?
Kunikida: You're really fucking blurry.
---
Q: *writing a letter*
Q: Dear Santa,
I'm writing to let you know I've been naughty...
And it was worth it you fat, judgemental bastard.
---
Dazai: I asked Chuuya out.
Kunikida: Oh, I'm sorry.
Dazai: Why?
Kunikida: Well, I assume he said no.
Dazai: No, he said yes.
Kunikida: Really? Then I'm sorry for him.
---
Kouyou: I like your top, Chuuya!
Dazai: I have a name, you know.
Chuuya: *sighs* Why. Why are you like this?
---
Kyouka: Don't worry, I've got a few knives up my sleeve.
Atsushi: I think you mean cards.
Dazai: She did not.
Kyouka, pulling out knives: I did not.
---
Fukuzawa: I'm telling you, my team is competent.
Haruno, rushing in: President! Dazai tried to make pasta in the coffee pot and now it's broken!
---
Kunikida: You're charged with.....breaking into a pet store?
Atsushi: I thought the animals might be lonely.
---
Ranpo: HELP! I TOLD POE I'D COOK DINNER TONIGHT BUT I CAN'T COOK!
Dazai, pouring milk directly into the cereal bag: And you thought I could help?
---
Dazai: .. .----. -- / ... --- .-. .-. -.-- [translation: I'M SORRY]
Chuuya: What's that?
Dazai: Remorse code.
Chuuya: I'm even angrier now.
---
Margaret: Look. I may not be a saint, but it's not like I've killed anybody. I'm not an arsonist. I've never found a wallet outside of an IHOP and thought about returning it but saw the owner lived out of state so just took the cash and dropped the wallet back on the ground.
Nathaniel: Okay, that's really specific, and that makes me think that you definitely did do that.
---
Kunikida, in a high voice, holding a Barbie: Hey Ken! I was thinking about going back to school and starting a career!
Kyouka, in a deep voice, holding ken: Nonsense, Barbie. You're staying home and having my kids
Yosano: What the fuck are you guys doing?
Kunikida: I'm teaching Kyouka about systemic oppression
---
Akutagawa: Dazai, can I talk to you for a second?
Dazai: Yeah, what's up? Lemme guess. You and Atsushi are having problems and you want me to teach you how to kiss?
Akutagawa: What? No, stop that. I know how to kiss. I've read books.
---
Akutagawa: How's the sexiest person here~?
Atsushi: I don't know, how are they~?
Akutagawa: I-
Dazai, from across the room: I'm doing great, thanks!
---
Akutagawa: What's this?
Atsushi, hugging Akutagawa: Affection!
Akutagawa: Disgusting.
Akutagawa: ...Do it again.
---
Dazai, trying to comfort Atsushi: What's the problem? Anxiety? Low self-esteem? Obsessive thoughts of random arson? I've been there.
---
Ranpo: Hello all, it is I, your favorite person.
Fukuzawa: Actually, Kyouka is my favourite now.
Ranpo: Okay then, it is I, that bitch.
---
Lucy: Poe, what do you value about Ranpo?
Poe: He's thoughtful. He picks flowers and brings them to me. Often they're ones I've just planted, but...
Ranpo: That's how I know they're fresh!
---
Kunikida: Wait, you two are sleeping together?!
Dazai: Only when we're done having sex.
YOU ARE READING
Bungo Stray Dogs // Incorrect Quotes
FanfictionI will usually post 10-15 incorrect quotes per chapter. Hope you enjoy :) (ships are included, check the tags for them.)
