Tachihara: The 'how the fucks' and 'why are you so dumbs' don't matter. All that matters is that I have a new gun.
---
Chuuya: How much did you spend on this date?
Dazai: $1400. But all of it's on credit cards, so it's like $5 a month for the next 2,000 years.
---
Atsushi: Bottling up negative emotions is bad for your health, so you shouldn't do it.
Akutagawa: I know, that's why I bottle up all my emotions, both positive and negative, so it cancels out.
Atsushi: Th-that's not how that works-
---
Akutagawa: I give up. I am so tired.
Kouyou: Get the emergency supply!
Higuchi: *carries Atsushi and places him in front of Akutagawa*
Atsushi: *smiles*
Akutagawa: AND I AM BACK BABY, LET'S GOOO
---
Kouyou, watching Chuuya & Dazai panic: What's going on?
Kyouka: Chuuya is having a midlife crisis and Dazai is just having a crisis.
---
Dazai: I lost Chuuya.
Mori: How did you LOSE Chuuya?!
Dazai: To be fair, he is very small.
---
Atsushi: What's your name?
Akutagawa, whispering to b: Can I tell them my real name?
Higuchi: No!
Akutagawa: I'm... Higuchi.
Higuchi, whispering to herself: The ONE TIME he gets my name right...
---
Ranpo: Are we really going to let Atsushi keep Kyouka?
Kunikida: We kept Dazai.
---
Kunikida: Where's Atsushi, Kyouka, and Kenji?
Ranpo: They're playing hide and seek.
Kunikida: Where?
Ranpo: I don't think you get how this game works.
---
Ranpo: Truth or dare?
Akutagawa: Dare.
Ranpo: I dare you to kiss the hottest person in the room.
Akutagawa: Hey Higuchi?
Higuchi, blushing: Yeah?
Akutagawa: Can you move? I'm trying to get to Atsushi.
---
Akutagawa: Guys, I've been meaning to tell you... Atsushi and I are dating.
Atsushi, Higuchi, Dazai, and Chuuya: *gasp*
Akutagawa: Atsushi, why are you surprised?!
---
Kunikida: You three, explain right now!
Ranpo: It was Dazai.
Atsushi: It was Dazai.
Junichiro: It was Dazai.
Dazai:
Dazai: ...fuck.
---
Kunikida: What did you guys get in your yearbook?
Kenji: 'Prettiest Smile'
Atsushi: 'Nicest Personality'
Chuuya, popping out of nowhere: 'Most likely to start a bar fight'
Dazai: 'Least likely to start a bar fight, but most likely to win one'
---
Ranpo: If you put 'violently' in front of anything to describe your action, it becomes funnier.
Ranpo: Violently practices.
Kunikida: Violently studies.
Atsushi: Violently sleeps.
Junichiro: Violently shoots pictures.
Dazai: Violently boxes.
Dazai: Violently murders people.
Atsushi: Violently worries about the previous statement.
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Bungo Stray Dogs // Incorrect Quotes
FanfictionI will usually post 10-15 incorrect quotes per chapter. Hope you enjoy :) (ships are included, check the tags for them.)
