Dazai: Chuuya has only knocked me out three times this week. Our friendship is really developing.
---
Akutagawa: Dazai, I know you love Atsushi. I mean, we all do, he's a very nice person and I respect him immensely.
Akutagawa: But I think he might be a fucking idiot.
---
Chuuya: If I'm extra sarcastic with you it probably means I'm flirting with you or you really annoy me and I can't handle your crap... have fun figuring out which one.
---
Kunikida: Yo dumbass, get over here.
Dazai: Okay-
Atsushi: *gleefully runs past* I'm coming!
Dazai, sadly: I thought... I was dumbass...
---
Ranpo: *is visibly upset*
Yosano: Ranpo, what happened? I haven't seen you like this since you found out candyland wasn't an actual country.
---
Dazai: I don't think the therapist is supposed to say 'wow' that many times during their first session with a client, but here we are.
---
Kouyou, to Chuuya: You're starting to forget your Spanish. You don't practice.
Chuuya: Lo siento. Estoy embarazada.
Kouyou: You just told me you're pregnant.
Dazai: Congratulations Chuuya, you're glowing!
---
Lucy: *visiting the agency* Hello, I just came to-
Lucy: *sees Dazai on shrooms shoving Atsushi into the washing machine while Yosano records and Ranpo watches*
Lucy: *retreating* Something suddenly came up.
---
Atsushi: *sneaking in through their window*
Dazai: *turning in his chair and flicking the light* You want to tell me where you've been all night?
Atsushi: I was with Akutagawa?
Akutagawa: *turning in his chair* Wanna try again?
---
Dazai: Wait, what's going on? Are we all talking about how hot Chuuya is? Because Chuuya is a straight up sexual fox riding a red-hot nuclear bombshell right toward the yowza plaza in the heart of Babe City, Assachusetts, U S A. The last A just stands for more ass.
---
Atsushi: Oh god, he texted you 'hi.'' punctuation only means one thing, Dazai. He's mad at you.
Dazai: No, it's Kunikida. He's just being grammatically correct!
*meanwhile*
Kunikida: And then I used a period so he'd know that I'm mad at him.
Chuuya: A period doesn't say 'I'm mad', it says 'you're dead to me'.
Kunikida: I stand by my choice.
---
Dazai: I have no respect for Santa. Don't sneak in through the chimney and undermine my authority by bringing my family presents. Walk in through the front door and fight me like a man.
---
Ranpo: Smart is attractive. Educate me on something I don't know!
Dazai: The mouth of a jellyfish is also an anus.
Ranpo: Stop.
---
Ranpo: You spent all our money on THIS??
Poe, putting tiny raincoats on raccoons: They live outside. They need this
YOU ARE READING
Bungo Stray Dogs // Incorrect Quotes
FanfictionI will usually post 10-15 incorrect quotes per chapter. Hope you enjoy :) (ships are included, check the tags for them.)
