Atsushi: Life keeps fucking me and I can't remember the safeword.
---
Atsushi: Why is everyone so obsessed with top or bottom? Honestly, I'd just be excited to have a bunk bed.
Dazai:
Dazai: I'm gonna tell him.
Chuuya: Don't you dare.
---
Dazai: Why is Person A crying?
Poe: He saw a leaf on the sidewalk and-
Ranpo: IT LOOKED SO CRUNCHY!
Dazai: Please don't say what I think you're gonna say-
Ranpo: AND WHEN I STEPPED ON IT THERE WAS NO CRUNCH!
Dazai: NO, NOT THAT!
---
Atsushi: I know this isn't going to end well and I don't care. So don't you try and stop me, Akutagawa!
Akutagawa: I wasn't stopping you. I was asking if you had a spare camera so I can record this.
---
Chuuya: I'm not so sure you're stakeout material.
Dazai: I'm a chronic insomniac, I was born for this.
---
Dazai: Chuuuuu! I can't do this stupid math!
Chuuya: What's the math problem?
Dazai: Well, we have to add the bed, subtract the clothes divide the legs, and hope we don't multiply.
Akutagawa, covering Atsushi's ears, while Chuuya smacks Dazai upside the head: Not going to lie that was hella smooth.
---
Kunikida: Fandom, you'll be working with Chuuya and Dazai.
Fandom: Alright! My fantasy threesome!
Everyone else: *blank stares*
Fandom: ...Of people on a team.
---
Chuuya: So anyways have y'all seen Akutagawa?
Kyouka: I think he went in Atsushi's room 'studying'.
Dazai: Doubt that. I heard groans there.
*Meanwhile in Atsushi's room*
Atsushi & Akutagawa, fighting:
---
Kenji: I wouldn't put it in those words exactly.
Yosano: Why not?
Kenji: Because I don't know what they mean.
---
Dazai: Why did you guys dress up as each other for Halloween?
Atsushi: Akutagawa is the scariest thing I could think of!
Akutagawa: Atsushi told me I should pick the dumbest costume possible.
---
Akutagawa: Honestly, I am so evil. So full of darkness. I feed off the souls of the living I strike fear into-
Atsushi: You sleep with a teddy bear.
Akutagawa: He's my sECOND IN COMMAND IN MY ARMY OF DARKNESS!
---
Atsushi: *running towards Akutagawa with open arms*
Akutagawa: *moves out of the way*
Atsushi: Hey, why'd you move?!
Akutagawa: I thought you were going to attack me.
Atsushi: I was going to hug you!
Akutagawa: Why would you hug me?
Atsushi: WHY WOULD I ATTACK YOU!?
YOU ARE READING
Bungo Stray Dogs // Incorrect Quotes
FanfictionI will usually post 10-15 incorrect quotes per chapter. Hope you enjoy :) (ships are included, check the tags for them.)
