Atsushi: *opens mouth to speak*
Akutagawa: I don't know what you're going to say, but I think you're wrong.
---
Chuuya: I don't have enough energy for this.
Dazai: For what?
Chuuya: *gestures vaguely*
---
Dazai: Hey... can you do me a favor?
Atsushi: Yeah sure.
Dazai: When I die...
Atsushi: ...Yeah?
Dazai: Can you update my Facebook status saying "Chillin' with Jesus"?
---
Poe: You know those moments when I tell you something isn't a good idea-
Ranpo: -And then I ignore you, yeah.
---
Atsushi: Dude, are you getting enough sleep?
Kunikida: Sometimes when I sneeze my eyes close.
---
Dazai: It's nice to be wanted, you know?
Chuuya: Not by the law!
---
Ranpo: I'm sick and tired of being called 'mortal' like, you don't know that. Neither do I. I have never died even ONCE. Nothing has been proven yet. Stop making assumptions. It's rude.
---
Dazai: So, what, now I'm just supposed to do anything that Kunikida does? I mean, what if he jumped off a cliff?
Fukuzawa: If Kunikida were to jump off a cliff, he would've done their due diligence regarding the height of the cliff, the depth of the water, and the angle of entry, so yes. If you see Kunikida jump off a cliff, by all means, jump off a cliff.
Dazai: You jump off a cliff!
Fukuzawa: Gladly. Provided Kunikida did first.
---
Dazai, texting Kouyou: Ane-san! Help I'm being kidnapped
Kouyou: Where are you?
Dazai: I'm with some strange person. In a car. Help.
Kouyou: I'll call Chuuya.
Chuuya, answering their cell: Y'ello?
Kouyou: Where's Dazai? He texted me that he was being kidnapped.
Chuuya: Dazai? Whaddya mean, he's right next to me-
Chuuya:
Chuuya: I'll call you back. *hangs up*
Chuuya: THE NEW HAIRCUT ISN'T THAT BAD!
Dazai: WHO ARE YOU?!
---
Atsushi, watching the news: Someone tried to fight a squid at the aquarium today!
Akutagawa: *walks in covered with ink* Well, maybe the squid was being a dick.
---
Atsushi: You saved me. I owe you my life.
Dazai: No thanks. I've seen it and I'm not very impressed.
---
Chuuya, talking to Dazai on the phone: Did you preheat the oven like I told you to?
Dazai: You bet!
Chuuya: At what temperature?
Dazai: 535.
Chuuya: That's the clock.
Dazai:
Chuuya:
Dazai: 536.
---
Akutagawa: Looking left cause you don't treat me right
Chuuya: Looking right because you left
Kouyou: Looking up cause you let me down
Mori: Looking down cause you fucked up
Tachihara: What is wrong with you guys
YOU ARE READING
Bungo Stray Dogs // Incorrect Quotes
FanfictionI will usually post 10-15 incorrect quotes per chapter. Hope you enjoy :) (ships are included, check the tags for them.)
