Bungo Stray Dogs // Incorrect Quotes

14

Atsushi: Don't joke about murder. I was murdered once and it offends me.

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*Comments under an image of a really hot knife cutting bread*
Ranpo: Imagine stabbing someone with this knife.
Kunikida: It would instantly cauterize the wound, so the person wouldn't bleed, so it's not very useful.
Dazai: if you want information it is
Kenji: why would you STAB a person when you can have TOAST?

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Akutagawa: There are three ways to handle a difficult situation. The right way, the wrong way, and the Atsushi way.
Higuchi: Isn't that the wrong way?
Akutagawa: Yes, but it's faster.

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Naomi: Who knew getting in trouble would be so impossible?
Junichiro: I gotta give you credit, Atsushi. You make it look easy.
Atsushi: Years of practice.

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Chuuya: Can you be quiet?! I'm trying to think.
Dazai: Don't worry. Doing anything for the first time is difficult.

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Atsushi: Dazai, you're such a genius!
Dazai: Yes, I know.

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Kunikida: Christmas lights?
Atsushi: Check.
Ranpo: Thermos of hot cocoa?
Atsushi: Check.
Dazai: Santa suits?
Atsushi: Check.
Yosano: Shovel?
Atsushi: Check.
Kyouka: Alibi and bail money?
Atsushi: Check- wait, WHAT?!

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Atsushi: Are you mad?
Kyouka: No.
Atsushi: So sharpening your knives at 3 in the morning is just a hobby?

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Dazai: *on the phone* Just snap his kneecaps and he'll talk, I'm at a parent-teacher conference.
Dazai: Anyways, you said Akutagawa is enjoying finger painting! That's great.

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Dazai: We have fun, don't we, Kunikida?
Kunikida: I have never been more stressed out in my entire life.

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Akutagawa: I need you to come meet me and I need you to come alone.
Atsushi: And I need you to be less vague and weird.

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Chuuya: You were stabbed. Do you remember anything?
Atsushi: Only the ambulance ride to the hospital.
Chuuya: That wasn't an ambulance, I drove you.
Atsushi: But I heard a siren.
Akutagawa: That was Dazai.
Dazai: Sorry, I got nervous.