Bungo Stray Dogs // Incorrect Quotes

36

Atsushi: Why did you leave Wrestlemania on for the cats?
Kyouka: They need to learn how to protect us.

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Kenji: What's the announcement, Atsushi?
Atsushi: It's a lecture. Kunikida's gonna tell us everything he knows about sex.
Dazai: It should be an enjoyable 60 seconds.

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Chuuya: Fight me!
Dazai, standing behind them and holding a knife: *mouths* Do not.

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Atsushi: Pfft, you should meet Akutagawa, he's such a tsundere.
Kunikida: He... he just stabbed you.
Atsushi: So cute.

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Higuchi: What's up with Akutagawa? He's been laying on the floor for like....an hour now?
Gin: He's just a little overwhelmed.
Higuchi: Why?
Gin: Atsushi smiled at him.

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Atsushi: What do you think Kenji will do for a distraction?
Kunikida: He'll probably make a noise or throw a rock. That's what I would do.
*Building explodes and several car alarms go off*
Kunikida: ... or he could do that.

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Poe: I know you're deflecting by making jokes about how hot you are.
Ranpo: It's not a joke.
Ranpo: *sniffles*
Ranpo: I'm a legit snack.

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Ranpo: Who thinks I can fit 15 marshmallows in my mouth?
Kunikida: You're a hazard to society
Yosano: And a coward. DO TWENTY.

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Dazai: Assert your dominance over your friends by kicking them in the face, and then giving them a little smooch on the forehead!

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[this one's a little too long and a lot ooc, i just think it's neat]

Mori: Hey guys, what do you think about making that beach trip an annual thing?
Chuuya, Tachihara, and Dazai: No!
Kouyou: Alright, that's it, you guys. What happened out there?
Chuuya: What? We took a walk. Nothing happened. I came back with nothing all over me.
Kouyou: What does that mean?
Mori: Come on, what happened? Tachihara?
Tachihara: Alright.
Chuuya: No. Tachihara, we swore we'd never tell!
Dazai: They'll never understand.
Tachihara: But we have to say something. We have to get it out. It's eating me alive.
Tachihara: Chuuya got stung by a jellyfish!
Chuuya: Alright! I got stung. Stung badly. I couldn't stand it. I- I couldn't walk.
Dazai: We were two miles from the house. We were scared and alone. We didn't think we could make it.
Chuuya: I was in too much pain.
Tachihara: And I was tired from digging a huge hole.
Dazai: And then Tachihara remembered something.
Tachihara: I'd seen this thing on the Discovery Channel.
Mori: Wait a minute, I saw that. On the Discovery Channel. Yeah, about jellyfish and how if you— EW! Did you pee on yourself?
Kouyou and Mori: EW!!
Chuuya: You can't say that! You don't know! I thought I was gonna pass out from the pain. Anyway, I tried, but I couldn't... bend that way. So... *looks at Tachihara*
Mori, Kouyou: Ew!
Tachihara: That's right. I stepped up. He's my friend and he needed help. If I had to, I'd pee on any one of you.
Tachihara: Only, uh, I couldn't. I got stage fright. I wanted to help but there was too much pressure. So, I, um, I turned to Dazai.
Dazai: Tachihara kept screaming at me, "Do it now. Do it. Do it now." Sometimes, late at night, I can still hear the screaming.
Tachihara: That's because sometimes I just do it through my wall to freak you out.

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Kyouka: You look like little birds help you get dressed in the morning. 
Kyouka: People don't fear you.
Atsushi: Hey, I haven't been dressed by a bird since I was two.

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Dazai: *dangling from a rope over a pit of fire* Remember when I said I'd tell you when we're in too deep?
Chuuya: Yes?
Dazai: We're in too deep.

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Akutagawa: I woke up and chose VIOLENCE. I WILL COMMIT ARSON AND BURN EVERYTHING TO THE GROUND!!! I AM ANGRY-
Higuchi: Awwww, you're so adorable! Give me a hug~
Akutagawa: Wh-What? nO, yOURE SUPPOSED TO BE SCARED OF ME! TREMBLE BEFORE MY WRATH-
Gin, recording: This is so cute.

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Kyouka: Can I have a private talk with you?
Atsushi: Okay, as long as it's not about tampons because I just don't understand them.

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Chuuya: Hey, Yosano. 
Yosano: What's up?
Chuuya: Remember that one time?
~Flashback~
Dazai: Rules are made to be broken.
Kunikida: They were made to be followed. Nothing is made to be broken.
Dazai: Uh, piñatas.
Ranpo: Glow sticks.
Kenji: Karate boards.
Yosano: Spaghetti when you have a small pot.
Dazai: Rules.
Kunikida:
~End of Flashback~
Yosano:  What about it?
Chuuya: oKAY, HOW DARE YOU-
Chuuya: *insert angry spaghetti noises*