Chuuya to Dazai: We smell of sweat and loss.
---
Chuuya: *texting* Hey can you pick me up I'm drunk.
Chuuya: Oh you don't have to anymore. I'm home now.
Kouyou: Yes, I'm aware of that after dropping you off at home.
---
Ranpo: But what about Poe? He's my SOULMATE!
Fukuzawa: You said that about a ball of yarn once!
---
Dazai: Chuu-chuu and I got married!!
Kunikida: Don't share your personal problems with everyone.
---
Atsushi: I've never smoked marijuana. I ate a brownie once at a party. It was intense. It was kind of indescribable. I felt like I was floating. Turns out there was no pot in the brownie. It was just an insanely good brownie.
---
Atsushi: I can't believe you've done this.....
Akutagawa: I'm sorry I didn't know-!
Atsushi, on the verge of tears: YOU CAN'T JUST BUY ME A GIFT OUT OF NOWHERE NOW I FEEL LIKE A HUGE ASSHOLE!
---
Kouyou: Where are you going?
Dazai: To either get ice cream or commit a felony. I'll decide on the way.
---
Atsushi: Be right back, gonna hit the toilet for a quick power sob.
---
Kunikida: I sleep with a gun under my pillow.
Atsushi: I sleep with a knife.
Dazai: Both of you are pathetic.
Kunikida: Oh yeah? What do you sleep with?
Dazai: Chuuya.
---
Kunikida: We need a plan to beat them.
Ranpo: Okay, listen up. First, we fill their shoes with wet cat food.
Kunikida:
Ranpo: Judge me all you want, I get results.
---
Atsushi: So how's the food Kyouka made?
Ranpo: It's great! Compliments to them.
Atsushi: *goes to the kitchen*
Atsushi: You're adorable.
Kyouka: *blushes*
---
Dazai: Two years ago, I married my best friend.
Dazai: Ane-san is still mad about it, but me and Chuuya were drunk and thought it was funny.
---
Random Person: What's your name?
Dazai, whispering to Chuuuya: Can I tell them my real name?
Chuuya: No!
Dazai: I'm... Nakahara Chuuya.
Chuuya, whispering to himself: The ONE TIME he gets my name right...
---
Atsushi: Why would anyone want to harm Dazai?
Kunikida: Maybe because they met him?
---
Akutagawa: Ugh, crushes are so dumb.
Atsushi: I know. Whenever I'm near the person I like I just start acting stupid.
Akutagawa: But you're always acting stupid?
Atsushi: ...
Atsushi: Yeah, don't think about that too hard.
---
Akutagawa: Sometimes I like to place my hands on someone's cheeks, look into their eyes...
Akutagawa: ...And violently jerk their head until it snaps.
Atsushi: ...That took an unexpected turn.
Akutagawa: So did their neck.
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Bungo Stray Dogs // Incorrect Quotes
FanfictionI will usually post 10-15 incorrect quotes per chapter. Hope you enjoy :) (ships are included, check the tags for them.)
