Bungo Stray Dogs // Incorrect Quotes

33

Computer: Please enter a password.
Dazai: *types in Chuuya*
Computer: Your password is too weak.
Chuuya: How fucking DARE YOU-

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Atsushi: Do you want some tea?
Akutagawa: What are the options?
Atsushi: Yes or no.

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Dazai: Damn, Kunikida, are you secretly cool?
Kunikida: Well, poker is just math, so I guess it depends on if you consider the mathematician, Carl Friedrich Gauss, cool.
Dazai: I do not.

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Dazai: I haven't had a lot of time to focus, and I miss Chuuya.
Atsushi: I know.
Dazai: I had a dream about him the other night.
Atsushi: Really? The dirty kind?
Dazai: No.
Dazai:
Dazai: And when you're 21, I'll tell you the real answer.

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Atsushi: Why is everyone so obsessed with top or bottom? Honestly, I'd just be excited to have a bunk bed.
Ranpo:
Ranpo: I'm gonna tell him.
Poe: Don't you dare.

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Atsushi: You've got to learn to love yourself.
Akutagawa: But don't you hate yourself?
Atsushi: Yeah, but this is about you. Stay focused.

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Atsushi: Guys, I didn't memorize my lines!
Akutagawa: Just use your lack of common sense! Everyone knows the characters in plays are dumb as fuck!
*During the play*
Yosano: Hey! You finally made it! Did you get the donuts?
Atsushi: W-what're donuts?

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Poe: Last night I found out you were a sleep talker.
Ranpo: Oh, really?
Poe: "The mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell." Right. In. My. Ear. At 3 am.

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Atsushi: You believe me?
Kyouka: Atsushi, you're the last good person on this planet. I'd believe cartoon birds braided your bangs this morning.

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Ranpo: Ew. What kind of tea is this?
Poe: I boiled gatorade.

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Dazai, texting Kunikida: *sends a voice message*
Kunikida, texting back: I'm a little busy, is it urgent?
Dazai: No, don't worry, just listen later.
*later*
Kunikida: *presses play*
Dazai's voice message: THERE'S A FIRE-

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Kyouka: Atsushi annoyed me today so I told him that I can't wait to see what he had planned for our special day tomorrow.
Yosano: There is nothing special about tomorrow.
Kyouka: But there is something special about watching the color leave his face as panic takes over.

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Chuuya: Listen, we're done, we're over! Okay?
Dazai: Whatever, you ain't never gonna find no one like me.
Chuuya: Yeah, that's the point shithead!

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Ranpo: Poe is too tall for me to kiss him on the lips. What should I do?
Kyouka: Punch him in the stomach. Then, when he doubles over in pain, kiss him.
Kenji: Tackle him!
Yosano: Dump him.
Atsushi: Kick him in the shin!
Poe: No to all of those! Just ask me to lean down!!