Bungo Stray Dogs // Incorrect Quotes

48

Chuuya: Dazai, this morning, I called you abhorrent and reprehensible, and I'd like to withdraw that statement-
Dazai: Aww, thanks-
Chuuya: But I can't. Those are the 2 words that best describe you.

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*In the chip aisle at Walmart, doing a late-night grocery run.*
Kenji: *Minding their own business, looking for tortilla chips.*
Kenji: *Finds tortilla chips.*
Akutagawa, to Atsushi: See, he knows what he's here for. He knows what he's doing. Be more like him. Make a decision, Jinko!

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Dazai: *slowly pushes a cannon into a 17th century bank* Okay everyone, be cool. This is a robbery.

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Chuuya: Wow, this parking is as straight as I am.
Kouyou: I know I should be focused on the fact that you just came out, but HOW DARE YOU INSULT MY PARKING! 

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Mori: The ritual. To preform it requires a sacrifice.
Dazai: Sacrifice? I nominate Chuuya.
Chuuya: Wait, what?
Dazai: Because you're little, you'll fit on a barbecue.
Kouyou: Its not that kind of of sacrifice guys...

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Dazai: My goal is not to be the best, but to inspire someone enough to one day surpass me.
Kunikida: YOU CAN'T JUST SAY THAT EVERY TIME YOU BEAT ME AT CONNECT FOUR!

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Dazai: Come to dinner tonight. I can't cook, but I'll bring plenty of free wine.
Chuuya: Marry me.

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Dazai: That was a joke. Say ha.
Akutagawa: Ha.
Dazai: Now do it again.
Akutagawa: Ha.
Dazai: Congratulations, you are officially the life of the party. 

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Higuchi: Gin, do you love me?
Gin: Of course I do!
Higuchi: Would you still love me if I did something bad?
Gin: Well, of course I... would...
Higuchi: I mean something really, really—
Gin: Higuchi, what did you do?

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Atsushi: Are you really planning to shoot the demon?
Dazai: Don't worry, it's a holy gun.
Atsushi: How so?
Dazai: It makes holes.

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Kunikida: You shouldn't be using a straw.
Kenji: I know, I know, it's bad for the environment and stuff.
Kunikida: Yeah, but I mean... it's a weird way to eat spaghetti.

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Dazai: Akutagawa likes to win. When he was 8, a little Club Scout friend of his bragged they could sell the most cookies.
Dazai: Damned if Akutagawa didn't walk the neighborhood till he got blisters on his feet, and won by 10 boxes.
Dazai: Best part is, Akutagawa wasn't even a Club Scout.

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Dazai: I don't remember that.
Kouyou: Do you remember that night last week when you slept in a revolving door?
Dazai: ...No.
Kouyou: Okay, do you remember when you were chased by those wild dogs for two miles?
Dazai: Not especially, no.
Kouyou: It was in between those two things.

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Fukuzawa: What do you do when someone offers you drugs?
Ranpo: Take them!
Kenji: Punch them in the neck!
Atsushi: Say thank you!
Dazai: Offer them more drugs to assert dominance!
Fukuzawa: ...
Fukuzawa: No.