"It would be a hundred times easier if we were young again."
It took us a little while to hear back about the Kingdom. I was more involved with everything since seeing Daryl at Hilltop. Honestly, I've been a little too involved. I was nonstop, day in and day out. I never quit, never rested, never stopped.
I told myself it was because we had a job to do. The David Bowie record reminded me of that every morning. More or less, every time I entered the living room. We needed our peace back. We needed to avenge Glenn and Abraham. I needed to avenge Daryl.
I was so narrow-minded. Tunnel vision kept me moving forward. At the end of that tunnel, Negan stood with his shit-eating grin. I wouldn't find peace until he wasn't blocking my exit anymore. I needed him out of my way.
I was walking the streets of Alexandria, it was sometime in the evening. I was mainly doing odd jobs to keep myself occupied and busy. I'd do anything to get myself stronger, get my perseverance up.
"Belle," Rick called to me. I turned to face my friend.
"Yeah, what's up?" I asked. There was something off about his demeanor. I didn't know how to feel about it.
"Could you come to the house for a minute? Just have some things to talk about."
Oh, good. Maybe it was news about Negan. Something to help up move forward. To get him out of my tunnel. I nodded without hesitation, eager to further our progress.
As I entered the Grimes house, there were a few more people than normal. Not only were Carl and Michonne around their kitchen table, Aaron and Rosita were also present. Something didn't feel right.
"What's going on?" I asked hesitantly.
"Belle," Rick started, sighing briefly, "we heard back about the Kingdom."
I looked around the group for a moment.
"Okay? What'd they say?"
"They don't want any part of it. They're on good terms with the Saviors and don't want to jeopardize that."
I felt a punch to my gut at his words. No, keep it together. So we hit a roadblock. How do we fix it?
"When did we hear back?"
"Yesterday," Rick replied, seeming to wince slightly.
Anger rose in my body at his response. My eyes widened and eyebrows furrowed.
"Yester— what the fuck have we been dicking around for then?" I fumed.
"Belle—"
"Okay so let's figure this out then. We could split up. Have one group talk to Hilltop and one group talk to the Kingdom. We could also all head to the Kingdom and talk to them there," I rambled.
"Belle—"
"Or let's say we don't ever get the Kingdom. What's our chances of making it out without them? We may have to face Negan ourselves. No, that would have negative repercussions."
"Belle, you have to stop," Rick finally said. This seemed to break me out of my strategic trance. I looked at him confused and hurt.
"What?"
"You've been nonstop since Daryl made it to Hilltop. You need to take a break."
I remained silent, processing what he was saying. Sure, I was doing a lot, but there's a lot on our plate.
"You went from zero to a hundred," Aaron chimed. "We're worried about you, Belle. Have you even been sleeping?"
"So we just put this aside?" I angrily muttered out.
"That's not what we're saying," Rick tried to console me.
"Negan's running around free, taking from us, because we haven't put an end to him yet."
"This is about your health."
"So we just let Abraham and Glenn die for nothing?!"
The room went eerily silent at my question. I couldn't understand why they disregarded all of this. This whole thing isn't about me. It's about putting an end to a sadist or took our friends away from us.
"Belle, you've been doing too much. We're all here because we're worried about you," Michonne informed me. I couldn't see past the anger rising in the pit of my stomach.
"If you don't want to end this, that's fine. I'll do it myself."
"How do you think Daryl would feel if he knew you were killing yourself like this?" Rosita asked, the tiniest bit of spite in her tone.
"I'm doing this for Daryl! We can't let Negan get away with what he did to us. To them."
"And we aren't," Rick piped again. "He will get what he deserves when the time is right."
"The right time won't happen if we don't get off our asses and get as many people on our side as we can."
"You need to quit, Belle," Carl finally chimed. "I haven't seen you sleep or eat for days. You're so focused on finishing this. Just stop."
"All of you should know that I fucking can't!" I shouted, tears brimming my eyes. "I can't sleep at night without seeing his stupid face or hearing what he did to Glenn and Abraham. I've spent time alone with Negan. Everything I'm doing is for my friends and my husband."
Everyone remained silent. They took in my confession with sympathy written all over their faces.
"I know...I know I have this tunnel vision right now. It's because he's at the end of that tunnel, blocking my exit. I need him gone. I need this to be over. I can't take much more time without Daryl. I...I don't know what will happen to me if time keeps passing the way it is."
I wrapped my arms around my stomach, a few tears slipping down my cheeks. I felt so defeated, finally taking myself into consideration. I know...I just know we wouldn't be in this situation if Glenn was still here.
Aaron came up behind me, wrapping his arms around me. I leaned my head back on his shoulder. Soon, Carl came and hugged my front to which I leaned my head forward on his shoulder. The remaining people in the room joined in succession, holding all my broken pieces together.
In time, we all separated. I wiped my eyes before thanking my friends for the comfort I desperately needed.
"You're a vital part to this plan working," Rick said. "We care about you. We need you safe so we can bring Daryl home."
I nodded in agreement, wiping my nose with the back of my hand.
For the first time in a while, Negan finally wasn't at the end of that tunnel. It was filled with the friends I've made, the friends who've become family. It was full of those I've loved and lost and the ones who are still here with me. Most importantly, Daryl was in that tunnel. He was guiding me home.
YOU ARE READING
Trespassing (Daryl Dixon x OC)
FanfictionI leaned my forehead against the cool wood. I closed my eyes while tears slipped past my closed lids, hoping and praying everything was just a dream. Oh this was just the beginning.