Trespassing (Daryl Dixon x OC)

Wasteland, Baby!

"You are unbreaking, though quaking, though crazy, that's just wasteland, baby."

On her kitchen counter, Carol had lined up all the ingredients she needed to back a batch of cookies. Some of these things I didn't even know could be used for it. Applesauce was the big one. 

It was nice to have this moment with Carol. I've always loved her company but felt like we've missed out on a lot of moments. More so, I felt like a kid. It felt just like when I used to make pancakes with my father when I was young. 

"So, Belle," she said, "how are things with you and Daryl?" She gave me that motherly glance that meant she knew there was a huge story behind my answer. I blushed at her question.

"Good," I answered. "Things are good."

"Nope. You don't get to give me that answer," she prodded. "Tell me about it. I feel like I haven't seen you in forever. I want to know." I nibbled on my lip briefly as I smiled.

"We were a mess for a bit, but we've come together. I was in a bad place after Terminus. Really bad. But he's been supportive and kept me together."

"And," Carol pushed. I looked at her confused. "There's more. I can see it in your eyes."

"Well," I continued, drawing out the word as Carol began putting spoonfuls of dough on a cookie sheet. "Okay, well, let me ask you this: when you two were out, did he ever mention anything about wanting to get married?" She pursed her lips in thought before shaking her head.

"Not exclusively. It was mostly about how worried he was about you and how much you mean to him."

I nodded slightly, pressing my lips into a thin line as I watched Carol's movements. Now I felt a little stupid.

"Well, he's said and done a few things that make me feel like he's thinking about it."

"Like what?" she asked over her shoulder, throwing the pan in the oven.

"The other night, we were joking around and I said I could make him sleep on the couch and he said we aren't married yet so it wouldn't work. Then, while we were on the road to Terminus and he found us, I woke up to him messing around with my ring finger." I paused for a moment, looking at my hands resting together on the counter. "He never, in my whole life of knowing him, ever talked about marriage or the idea of it. He never thought he'd get one. So, for him to bring it up like that just...makes me wonder."

Carol pondered my story for a moment, resting her chin on her hand as she leaned on the granite countertop.

"He loves you so much, Belle. And I'm sure he would love to spend the rest of his life with you. Maybe he's finally accepting the fact that he can be loved and that someone actually wants a life with him in return."

I thought this through for a moment. She was right in every possible way. I knew it was a big thing for him to admit to such a thing. I didn't want to push him for answers either because this was a sensitive subject. When Daryl is comfortable, we'll talk about it.

"Yeah, you're right."

"How are you doing? Like, really?" she asked, the atmosphere taking a serious turn.

"I'm okay," I said. Carol raised an eyebrow.

"Told you, no shit answers." 

"Honestly," I sighed, "I'm kind of a mess. I mean, I'm significantly better than I was a week ago, but I still don't know what I'm doing, really. I barely sleep anymore. I haven't slept through the night in...I don't even know how long. For the longest time, I felt like I was going crazy. While we were on the road, I used to sneak off and breakdown. I tried to hurt myself but never could. I tried to kill myself. Carl and Rick found me. And I guess Daryl saw, too. He's been supportive and loving which I appreciate so much but...I still don't really know if I'm okay."

"Oh, honey," Carol sympathized. "You know, I've been in your shoes; feeling trapped with no way out. Maybe you're sane, maybe not. Ed used to make me feel like that all the time."

"How did you handle it?" I asked quietly, almost as if the question was taboo.

"I knew what I was living for," she stated simply.

"Sophia." Carol nodded at my statement.

"Even though you tried, there's something you're fighting for. You're living for something, whether you're aware of what it is or not. You're the strongest woman I know. It wouldn't be you to give up without a fight."

I smiled graciously at Carol's words. I felt much better being able to talk about these things. The weight on my shoulders lessened significantly. I felt more in control of who I was.

"Thank you," I told her.

There was a knock at the front door that brought us out of our moment. Well, more like a few frantic ones.

"I'll get it," I said, slipping off the stool at the counter and sauntering towards the door.

"Have you seen--" Daryl began frantically as soon as the door was cracked. Upon being met with me, he let out a small sigh and finished his question. "--Belle."

"Nope, haven't seen her," I joked.

Daryl grabbed the side of my face and pulled me to his lips. He gave me an urgent kiss, one that definitely caught me off guard.

"Don't scare me like that," he said as he pulled away.

"You said not to wait up on you."

"Yeah, but I at least left you a note," he complained. I rolled my eyes.

"Well, I'm sorry that I made you worry but at least I made it out of the house." He chuckled at that.

"That you did." I tugged on his arm, pulling him inside Carol's house.

"Come in. We made cookies."

Together, Carol, Daryl, and I spent the afternoon together and went well into the evening just talking. It felt surreal to spend time together like this, as if we were just visiting her on the weekend and life was normal. It's hard to think that we used to be strangers, that we never knew each other before the apocalypse began. She could have lived a few cities over, hell, even a few blocks over, and I would have never known her. Daryl and I could have never gotten to this point in our relationship. Our lives could have turned out so different, but I'm glad we've come this far together. 

Daryl and I eventually dragged ourselves out of Carol's house so we could go to bed, figuring we'd bothered her enough for one day. I made him give me a piggyback home just to annoy him.

"Sorry I scared you today," I apologized.

" 'S alright," he said. "I just worry about you. Especially after everything. I'm glad you got out, though." I smiled from my place on his back, resting my chin on his shoulder.

"Me, too."

"So," Daryl started before pausing to lift me up a bit, "Aaron asked me to go out with him and scout out people to bring back to Alexandria. Said he could use the help and thinks I'm a good judge of character."

"Well, you are," I agreed. "That why you're fixing up a bike?"

"Partially. Mostly 'cause they had it and I need a new one."

"Look at you, being a part of the community," I teased, internally proud of him for doing such a thing.

"I will drop you right here," he threatened. I giggled and lightly pecked at his neck, tightening my grip around his shoulders and waist.

"No," I whined. "I will never have sex with you again if you do." Daryl lifted me up further on his back again.

"Not a chance I am willing to take."