Trespassing (Daryl Dixon x OC)

Chainsaw

"I'll take a chainsaw to the sofa where I held your body close for so long. I'm gonna break the fucking china 'cause it's just one more reminder you're gone."

The amount of fear and sorrow between the group at this very moment was absolutely horrifying. I couldn't get those images out of my head; Glenn and Abraham's mutilated bodies at the hands of Negan, the words he used to threaten us with. I felt like I had nowhere to turn.

They took my husband away from me. For all I know, they're killing him over there. Or he's already been killed. God, I don't know what I'd do if that were the case.

As we walked through the gates of Alexandria, a few residents were waiting by. Once they saw how fucked up we were, they knew it was in their best interest to keep their mouths shut. I was so mentally numb and in the worst pain, it was a miracle I haven't collapsed yet.

I immediately took off to my house. I didn't know where else to go. I didn't want to go anywhere else.

"Belle," Rick's frail voice called. Hearing him so broken absolutely killed me. I turned. He looked even worse. "I'm--"

"No," I interrupted, my voice cracking. "Just...don't."

I walked through the empty streets to my house. The house Daryl and I were supposed to be in. Together. The loneliness was caving in on me and I knew I was just about at my breaking point. Not yet, I told myself. Wait until you're home.

Once there, I slammed the door shut. I looked around the living room of the house I once shared with Daryl. Silence pounded in my ears. Time stood still but crashed all together. That was it. That was my breaking point.

Sobs racked my body so fucking violently. My knees gave out as I crashed to the floor. The impact was painful since I spent who knows how long on my knees to watch a stranger beat my friends' heads in.

I placed my hands on the floor to try and steady myself. Inevitably, it did nothing. I just fell to the ground fully. Everything hurt. I was in so much mental pain, my body took it physically. I rolled around in any attempt to relieve the shooting pain I couldn't get rid of.

"Why?" I screamed continuously. "Why them? Why Daryl?"

I saw an old glass of water on the coffee table. I stared at it for a moment before bringing myself to my feet. I felt like a baby deer learning to walk for the first time. I grabbed the glass, barely seeing my God-awful reflection in it.

"It should have been me," I mumbled.

"It should have been me!" I screamed so hard it burned my throat, whipping the glass across the room. It smashed against the wall into the tiniest of pieces. My chest heaved with heavy breaths.

I repeated this with every glass I could find. The pieces crunched against my boots. It sounded just like the gravel Negan walked on. It echoed in my ears, taunting me. Haunting me.

All I thought about was my friends and my husband. Everything we've said. Every time we shared.

You're still getting that free pizza. That night on top of the RV after the CDC blew. Saving my life from the virus.

Because you're way stronger than any rat-faced sargeant I've ever met. Carrying me out of Terminus. Every time he made me laugh.

I love you. My entire life with him. My everything.

I grabbed a chair, now throwing that from the kitchen to the dining room. The legs broke off, splinters flying through the air. Anything that could break, I threw at another wall. Holes began to litter the house, some of which were caused by my own fists. My knuckles were numb and bleeding. I needed to feel something. Something other than the immense pain in my chest.