Trespassing (Daryl Dixon x OC)

For The First Time

"Oh, these times are hard. Yeah, they're making us crazy. Don't give up on me, baby."

I was reluctant. Something in me wanted to fight against it. Against him. Was I fed up with some of his actions? Probably. I couldn't stand the way he acted when he was scared or angry--one always leading to the other. I won't lie, I can act similarly. We did grow up together and I picked up on some of his habits. 

Was I hurt by what he said? Yeah. Who wouldn't be? It was harsh and it felt truthful. Although I can't deny the regret I saw in his eyes while he apologized. 

Did I still love him? Absolutely. Did I still want to be with him? Definitely. This was just another bump in the road we had to face. We've been through worse, we've been through easier. 

Daryl did give me something new to hold onto, something to make me forget about all this shit for just a little while. I accepted his apology. Well, apologies, as there were multiple. He knew I was still hurt but we both agreed to work through it together. We both knew this shit wasn't easy. Instead of our arguments being about what bills need to be paid, they're about the possibility of one of us getting eaten alive by something that's not entirely human anymore. I'd take option one over option two any day. 

Night had fallen, crickets chirped soundly as the moon hung high in the sky. Everything--for the first time in a while--felt peaceful. Daryl and I laid together nearly naked, our underwear being the only clothing barrier. It was intimate, yes, but more so in the aspect of closeness. Nothing but thin fabric held us back from each other. We were both vulnerable to each other. His fingertips lightly danced along my spine as I laid on top of his chest. There was a light ebb and flow of our breaths that brought serenity to me. 

"You doin' okay?" Daryl gently asked. 

I nodded against his skin. "Yeah," I mumbled. 

We went back to our silence. I couldn't complain, really. It was comfortable and I felt at peace being with Daryl. There were many things swarming my brain, however. I wanted to know his take on a lot of things. Yes, we've known each other for as long as I can remember, but Daryl's always been reclusive. I knew him better than anyone else but there was still so much I didn't know about him. 

"What're ya thinkin' about?" he asked.

"Who says I'm thinkin' about somethin'?" 

"Your hand stopped." I hadn't even realized my hand stopped its unknown patterns across Daryl's chest. "What's on your mind, B?"

I shifted my body off Daryl's, lying on my side propped up on my elbow, my head resting on my hand. 

"Have you ever thought about a future?" I asked. 

Daryl shrugged. "Not really. Never really thought I'd get one."

"What do you want your future to be?" 

"Doesn't matter, as long as you're with me." I smiled at his words. "What do you want yours to be?"

I sighed. "I don't know. There's so much I wanted that I don't know if I can get now."

"Like what?"

"I wanted to get away from here. I never got to experience life outside of Atlanta. I wanted to leave with you and live a little." Daryl chuckled lightly, admiration glowing in his eyes. "I wanted to help people," I continued. "I wanted a family."

"You still can, B."

"I don't know, Daryl. Yeah, I can help people but it's not in the way I wanted to. And I don't think I could raise a kid in this world." 

I lowered my head to now rest on my arm, lying flat in front of Daryl. He turned to now lie on his side as well, his outside arm slinging over my waist.

"In this world or not, you'd be an amazing mother," Daryl cooed. I smiled lightly before he placed his lips on my forehead. I closed my eyes, relishing in the feeling. 

"D," I said, slowly bringing my gaze up to meet his, "did you ever want kids?"

Daryl seemed to tense slightly. "I don't know, B. I never want to be like my old man."

I frowned slightly but understood his reasoning. I couldn't blame him. 

"I don't want to end up like my mom," I admitted quietly. 

It amazed me how my dad managed to be an amazing parent without her. I've always wondered what he saw in her in order to conceive me. I never got the chance to ask. I always wished I did but he got sick and I was supporting us. We technically ended up switching roles. He was there for me until the very end and I was there for him. I always wondered how he did it. However he did, he did an amazing job. I wanted to be like that. 

"You're your father's daughter," Daryl said, breaking me from my thoughts. "You ain't like her and you ain't ever gonna be like her. You'd be the best damn parent in this whole place."

I smiled at his words, my cheeks warming slightly. I'm glad that's how Daryl saw my possible future. That's how I wished it could be.

"You'd be a better parent than you think, D. I see the way you are with Little Ass Kicker." I paused for a moment, really looking into his eyes to make sure he heard every word I was about to say. "Your mother would be proud of you."

Something flashed in his eyes, causing him to look away from me. His grip on my waist tightened a bit.

"She shouldn't be proud of what I've become."

"She should," I countered. He looked back up. "You know why I fell in love with you?" He shook his head. "Because you weren't like them. I knew how rednecks in the area were supposed to be. You weren't and aren't anything like them. You gave a damn about things. You have motives and reasons for what you did and why you did them. You were you. No one else was Daryl Dixon."

Daryl didn't say anything, just stared at me intently. I got worried that I said something wrong or I upset him. You couldn't really gauge Daryl's emotions through his facial features. It was a challenge that even I still struggle with.

He brought his free hand up to hold my face gently and kissed me with every ounce of love he had. I knew this was his way of thanking me for what I said. He wasn't always the best with his words. His actions, however, could speak for him just fine.

"I didn't mean what I said," he mumbled as he pulled away. "You aren't a problem. You're about the only thing in this damn place that ain't a problem."

I chuckled lightly, pulling my body closer to Daryl's. My eyes remained closed, feeling the day's exhaustion eating away at me, slowly surrendering to sleep. 

"We gonna be okay?" I asked.

"You an' me, baby."

I smiled. "Me an' you."