Trespassing (Daryl Dixon x OC)

Oats In The Water

"And you'll find loss, and you'll fear what you found."

Daryl and I made our way to the rest of the group at the gates. He exchanged his farewells with everyone, the moment hurting each of us in our own ways. The fact that he was out of the Sanctuary, though, was the most relieving.

Standing in front of me once again, Daryl sighed. It was heavy. The situation at hand was just that.

"I found your note, by the way," I told him. He seemed rather relieved that I mentioned it.

"Told you I'd get out," Daryl remarked. I let out a small huff, a gentle smile tugging at my lips as well.

We shared a loving kiss, the last one for a little bit. Despite how much this hurt me, I'm more than grateful to be able to give him this. The last time he was taken. No final goodbye. Nothing at all. At least we have this.

"I love you," I mumbled as we pulled away.

"I love you, too."

"We'll let y'all know what's coming next as soon as possible," Rick informed the Hilltop group before we departed. 

I looked back as the gates were closing. Daryl stood right in the center, watching us. Watching me. I just stared as his body became more and more obscured by the closing pieces of wood. Once they slammed shut, I harshly brought my gaze back to my feet.

"Hey," Rick nudged me, "it's gonna be okay. We'll see him again soon."

I sighed, biting the inside of my cheek.

"I know."

We were quiet for a moment. There was a sense of dread in the air. There always seemed to be one. 

"Rick," I said, "do you mind if I take one of the cars back myself?" 

It took me a moment to meet his gaze. It felt so wrong to ask for help.

"I just...I think I just..."

"Belle," he interrupted, "you don't need to make an excuse. Just tell me what's on your mind."

It felt nice to hear him say that. Asking for help is something I'm still learning how to do. It was reassuring to have Rick remind me that it's okay.

"I just need a little time to myself," I admitted. He nodded.

"Of course. Just don't come back too late, alright?"

"Yeah, you got it."

***

Driving in the silence was deafening. I couldn't get the thought of him off my mind. I mean, thank God Daryl's safe but what's gonna happen when Negan finds out? Where will he go first? Will he even do anything?

Then I couldn't stop thinking about what happened earlier. Spencer and this surprise visit from him, more people I know dying. And what about my visit to the Sanctuary? Who's side am I on?

I slowed to a stop, putting the car in park and lifting my foot off the brake. My breathing increased, the pain in my head never-ending. My heart just wouldn't stop beating, it almost hurt my chest. My knuckles were almost white against my heavy grip on the steering wheel.

I finally broke down over everything. Daryl's out and okay but at what cost? Will we be okay? How can I learn how to function? I just want to stop hurting. I don't want to be sad anymore. I want everything to go back to the way it was.