I Am

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"I'm a problem, I'm the killer, I'm the cure, I guess."

I stayed in the room with Carl for a while. He was stable but Hershel still needed medical supplies. Otis has been opting to go to a nearby school to get the necessary things since this was technically his fault. Carl was peaceful, and watching him this calm made me remember just how young and small he was. At ten years old, I was drawing crappy pictures and running off into the woods every now and then with my best friend. Dad and I'd eat dinner together and he'd still kiss me goodnight. I wanted that for Carl. Why did this virus have to spread so drastically? So harshly?

Lori stood in the doorway of the bedroom, watching her son with worried eyes. Her and I looked at each other for a moment before she said, "I got him."

I gave a slight nod, standing and walking past her as she entered the room.

"I don't want you near my son anymore," she said as I was about to exit the small space. I turned around slowly.

"Excuse me?" I asked, genuinely offended. This kid, her son, gave me so much joy and happiness in the shit show of a world. He was smart, and funny, and kind. He was radiant, we connected the moment we met.

"You heard what I said," she replied.

I scoffed, knitting my eyebrows together. "I'm sorry, but who did your son go to that first night when he couldn't sleep? Who kept your son safe when we crashed into that walker on the highway? Who's watched your son for you while you went off and screwed your husband's best friend? So, pardon my attitude, but I don't think it was you," I calmly threw at Lori. There was a fire in her eyes, probably because everything I said was true. "He needed you, Lori. He needed a parent since his father was in a coma. He thought he was dead, and he came to terms with that. He's ten years old--"

"You think I don't know my kid?" she interrupted. And now that she said it, yeah, that is what I'm saying.

"I don't think you're there enough for him," I said. "That boy never gave up on me, and I'll be damned if I ever gave up on him. So ask him when he wakes up who he wanted by his side. Or don't, just so you have some cockiness up your ass to feel like you have the upper hand, because right now, it's not about you, or me, Rick, or the group. It's about Carl."

We remained silent for a few seconds, glaring at one another. Maybe most of this was a self-reflection about how I felt about my own mother, or lack thereof. Either way, I only told the truth; Lori hasn't been there for Carl enough.

"Stay away from my son," she said once more. I shook my head slightly.

"Kiss my ass."

I walked outside, pushing the screen door open as I left the house. I saw Glenn just hanging around so I went over to him thinking about how we haven't talked in a while; not since that night on top of the RV.

"Hey," I called as I approached him. He turned to face me, a sweet smile lighting up his face.

"Hey," he said in return.

"How's everything?" I asked.

He shrugged. "You know, same old, same old. How about you?"

I shrugged as well. "Just bitched the fuck out of Lori."

"God, Belle, what'd you say?" Glenn asked looked pained but also amused.

"I didn't say anything that wasn't truthful," I replied with a small but cocky smile. He chuckled while rubbing an eye. His mood shifted slightly. He seemed a bit more concerned and curious. "What?" I asked.

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