*18+ Contains Mature and Explicit Content*
*I don't bring my eyes up when I hear him pick up a knife.... I don't even want to see the size of it. His shoes come into my vision as he brings the flat side of the knife under my chin. He lightly pushe...
I awake to loud banging coming from the kitchen. Slowly opening my eyes I stare around the room that is now lit from the sun. I rub my tired eyes and stare at the ceiling confused as to when I finally fell asleep.
After Harry left my room last night I just sat on my bed for what felt like hours. My spiral of yet another panic attack must have really hit me hard if I didn't realize I had fallen asleep.
I would really like to shower but Harry told me to let him know when I needed to because of my bandages. It is still so weird to me that he took care of my after what he hurt me. It just didn't make sense.
I stand up from bed still wearing the sweatpants and the sweatshirt Harry had put on me. My chest is more sore and in pain than yesterday. I need to tell Harry I want to shower but how am I supposed to when I'm trapped in here?
I slowly walk towards the door and turn the handle thinking it would be locked but it's not. He must have forgotten to lock it last night. I might be stupid for doing this but I open the door and make my way out into the hall.
Following the noise coming from the kitchen, I walk down downstairs to see Harry, Niall and two others in the kitchen laughing. The floor creaks when I get close making them all flip their heads to stare at me. Confusion flushes over their faces as I stand in my place.
"What are you doing down here?" Harry asks walking fast towards me. Both of his hands meet my arms as he turns me so my side is now pointed at the kitchen. He looks at his hand placement then brings his eyes up to mine.
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"I-uhm I need to shower." I say in a quiet voice as if I'm afraid the others will hear me.
I turn my head to look at them again standing in the kitchen just staring at us. My eyes notice that in the corner there are two kegs sitting neatly against the wall.
Harry's hand goes to my face gripping my cheeks, squeezing them tightly and forcing my eyes back to him.
"Go back upstairs and take the bandages off. Get in the shower but don't get the cuts too wet. I'll come up when you are almost done to help with the ointment and the new bandages."
"I can manage to put the ointment and bandages on myself." I tell him as his hand is still on my cheeks.
"I said I'll be there." He glides his thumb across my lip to meet his other fingers. His hand is now just cupping my cheek. "Now go back upstairs."
I give a small nod as he takes his hand off of my face. I don't bother looking back at the guys before I head back to the stairs. Climbing the steps one by one as whispers now fill the kitchen.
When I get back to my room I shut the door behind me and let out a breath. I walk to the bathroom and turn the shower on letting the sound of the water drown out the silence.
Taking my sweats off first then my sweatshirt, I walk to the mirror hesitant to take off the bandages. I'm afraid to see what the cuts will look like now. I pick at the corner of the skin colored bandaid and start to pull it back. I rip it fast because I don't want to deal with that pain.
