Hostage (H.S)

Chapter 40

Blessing you with smut <3

I'm also currently sitting in the Barnes and Noble Cafe writing this chapter... gotta get my poker face on.

Thank you for 17K!!

Harry's POV:

It was one word that I spoke. One small word but it felt weird coming from my lips. I never thought I would feel this way for her; feel this way for anyone after Cora. It's almost feels like I am betraying Cora by moving on to another but I know that she wanted me to find someone else. Fuck, she wanted me to get out of this hell that I call life. That was what we were going to do. Escape and try to live a normal life.

My eyes stay trained on Faye who is still knelt in front of me, hands cupping my cheeks and there was water forming on the brim of her eyes. She knows this was a lot for me to say. That single fucking word. I didn't even have to tell her how I felt, just saying that I have changed was enough of a confession but part of me feels like I should actually say it. How I feel about her but I can't open my mouth to speak. So we sit here, neither of us saying anything else for a moment while she takes in what I just said and while I try to think of a way to tell her how I really feel.

"Harry." She whispers.

I let out a breath of air that I didn't realize I was holding in this entire time. She blinks and I watch as a tear falls from her eye. Bringing my hand up, I wipe away the tear with my thumb leaving it to sit on her cheek.

"I need to tell you something." My mouth finally opens and the words spill out. "I don't know how I'm going to say it but I just need you to listen, okay?"

"Okay." She answers me while nodding her head.

"Fuck.. uhm.." My hand leaves her face to find a place on my thigh, lightly tapping the fabric of my jeans due to my anxiety. "Niall made me realize something about you. At first I was in denial, I didn't want to believe it... didn't want it to be true." Her facial expression turns to worry as I end my sentence, like my realization about her was something bad. "Don't worry Faye, it's not anything bad. It's just.. He said that I had been acting the same way with you that I had been with Cora...before everything happened."

I take a moment to pause and she doesn't say anything as she waits for me to keep going.

"I knew I felt something for you, I just didn't want it to be that. I really didn't want to fall in love with you. Not only because I felt like I was betraying Cora since she was the first woman I ever truly loved but also because of Nik. I knew that if I fell for you, it would change everything, it would fuck everything up. I'll die if he ever finds out about us but I wouldn't take any of it back. I would do it all over again just to be with you." I pause again to let it all sink in. "And I don't expect you to feel the same way about me given what I have done to you but I just needed you to know."

I stop speaking to let her absorb all of what I just said. She never once took her eyes off of me while I was telling her how I felt and it made me feel good because I knew she was listening to every single word I was saying. She sucks in a sharp breath and lets it out slowly.

"I understand why you would feel like you are betraying her, Harry. She was your first love and nothing will ever compare to that." She starts to say. "I don't want you to think that I am ever trying to take her place in your life, I would never do that. I respect what you had with her and I know she will always have a piece of your heart."

"I know you would never do that but I want you in my life Faye. Not this fucking life." I throw my hands up. "This isn't the life I wanted for Cora and it's not the life I want with you."