LeoPika short stories and one shots!

Relapse

{Part 2 of "soul searching" TRIGGER WARNING: EATING DISORDER AND VOMITING!! Discussions of being underweight.}
—Approximately one month later. Leorio's plan worked for a while, but both of their schedules were so inconsistent and unpredictable that they fell out of routine, and Kurapika has been skipping meals again.—
Kurapika POV

Get out. My stomach dropped and my heart nearly stopped. Oh no.

I ran to the bathroom and shut myself inside. I sunk to the floor next to the toilet, and finally let my tears fall. Get out get out get out. The fear gripping my heart was too strong. Get out. I needed to drown it out. Do it. I needed a release. Get the knife.

No! I leaned forward suddenly, and emptied my stomach's contents into the toilet. No no no. Acid burned my throat, and I began to shiver uncontrollably.

"Kurapika?" A soft voice said at the door. "Are you alright? You left the party in such a hurry-"

I threw up again, this time I forgot to pull my hair back. Dammit.

"Kurapika?"

"D-don't come in." I said weakly. My vomit had only been foam. I can't remember the last time I ate something. I thought I was getting better. I'm SUPPOSED TO BE BETTER.

My head was pounding, my stomach was boiling, my throat was throbbing, and my hands... they were covered in blood.

My eyes widened when I saw the phantom crimson on my fingers. I had killed again? When? Who? I didn't want to say it didn't matter. That was a living, breathing person.

I wiped at my hands, trying to get the blood off. But it was stained onto my fingers. I scratched and scratched, but to no avail. I was crying now, vision blurring and voices in my head screaming.

Blood. It surrounded me on the floor. Was it mine? Had I finally paid the price for the lives I had stolen? The blood was warm. Fresh? From who? It soaked my robes, climbing ever higher to saturate the once snowy white fabric. Die die die DIE-

The door opened, and Leorio burst in. I looked up in shock. Did I even lock the door?

"What's going on?"

I looked down at my hands, but there was no blood. There were only red lines from where I'd been mercilessly scratching. The floor was clean, and my clothing was too. I had imagined it?

The vomit was real, and it stuck strands of my hair to my face. Gross.

"I um... had a panic attack." I realized.

He crouched down so we were at eye level. He put a hand on my head, and I felt warmth spread through my body. It was as if his touch banished all darkness from my mind.

"Let's get you cleaned up. I sent the others home, so it's just you and me now." He takes off his coat and rolls up his sleeves. "Do you want to take a bath or a shower?"

I remained quiet for a second. "Shower."

Leorio nodded and flushed the toilet. I was sure he saw the contents, because his eyes darkened with concern. He let out a heavy sigh. He was probably thinking oh Kurapika, not again and that filled me with embarrassment and shame.

"I hope you don't have any plans today, because I'm going to take care of you."

I hung my head in shame. "Sorry."

"Don't apologize to me, Kurapika. I'm doing this because I want to." He assured me. He started the shower so the rushing water filled the silence. "I'll clean your clothes while you wash up, okay?"