LeoPika short stories and one shots!

We Love You, Killua

{TRIGGER WARNING: self harm!! Additional notes at end of chapter.} Family game night, sometime after the heavens arena arc.

"Hey Kurapika, can I talk to you for a second?" Killua asked.

"What do you need, buddy?" Kurapika looked up from playing monopoly.

"Can we talk in private?" Killua's voice was shaking a bit. He had to do this before he got too scared again.

"Yeah, let's go to the balcony, okay?" Kurapika stood from his seat, leaving Gon and Leorio in the living room. He gave Leorio a thumbs up on the way out, letting him know things were okay. Leorio proceeded to distract Gon so neither of them would overhear the conversation on the balcony.

As soon as the door closed, a heavy silence filled the air. Killua was leaning against the railing, focusing hard on the buildings below. His heart was racing. His palms were sweaty as he clenched his fists. Suddenly he was doubting himself.

"What did you want to talk about, kiddo?" Kurapika leaned on the railing next to him.

"Um." Killua's voice was tight. "I don't know how to say this." He quietly rolled up his sleeve and showed Kurapika.

There were four red lines staining his wrist. He didn't like looking at them because it reminded of him of how he felt when he had made them.

Kurapika was frozen. "Killua. This is-"

"Bad. I know." Killua confessed. "I know and I'm scared. Kurapika I don't know what to do because it helped- it felt good." He was starting to panic. "And I don't want it to feel good, that scares me. I want it to hurt and make me never want to do it again but that's not what happened and I don't know what to do or who to tell and I'm scared because I might do it again-"

Kurapika hushed him. He put his hands on the boy's shoulders, trying to calm him down. "Killua it's okay, it's okay. I'm here. I'm so proud of you for telling me."

Killua was crying uncontrollably, and his breathing was interrupted by sobs. He hugged Kurapika close, crying onto his shoulder.

"I don't know what to do." Killua said.

"For now, just be here." Kurapika whispered. "There's no shame in crying, you know."

And so Killua cried. And cried. His entire body rocked as he sobbed, finally letting out the bottled emotions. His breathing was sloppy and desperate, and he just couldn't stop. Kurapika hugged him tightly and waited.

Eventually Killua's crying sputtered to a slower pace. He wasn't sobbing quite as violently before.

"Are you going to do it again? Are you in danger?"

"Not right now, but I'm not sure." Killua admitted.

"Can you tell me why you did it?" Kurapika asked gently.

"My old family." He sniffed. "I've been getting too caught up in who said what and why they did it and trying to puzzle together if they love or hate me and why they treated me the way they did. The worst part is I've been having nightmares about my brother torturing me."

Kurapika leaned back to look his friend in the eyes. "Listen Killua. PTSD is very real, and hard to deal with; and it might overwhelm you sometimes." Kurapika smoothed his hair down a bit to calm him. "I want to help you find a way to cope that won't hurt you anymore."

Killua averted his gaze. "Really?"

Kurapika nodded. "I know some places we can look for help, and experts who we can trust. Is it okay if you stay with us for a week or so, so we can monitor you?"