UPSTEAD ONE SHOT(S)

I'm Right Here

My thoughts/interpretation of what might happen/what I want to happen between upstead, after the bombshell suggestion in 8x16.

Thump. Thump. Thump.

That's all that could be heard in the thick apartment, as both Jay and Hailey's heart thudded. Hailey's bottom lip quivered, her heart in her mouth as she waited for a response from Jay. Tears swam his eyes, the eyes looking down to Hailey in complete love and adoration for her. If it was under another circumstances, he would have jumped for joy and screamed yes; he could tell something was off though- more than just her worrying about Kim. Blurting such huge things out wasn't Hailey- nor really was marriage. It was trauma and shock talking, and Jay knew it.
"Hailey...." Jay finally spoke up after a few minutes of being speechless.
"Why shouldn't we? After what we've seen the last couple days" Hailey said, her voice panicked and upset.
Gently, Jay placed a hand on each of Hailey's shoulders and looked her in the eye. "Hails, I love you. And you know I love you so much. One day, absolutely I'll marry you. I can't wait for that day. But something's wrong- more than just what's happened to Kim" Jay spoke softly and carefully, lifting his right hand to clear away an escaped tear of Hailey's.

"What's wrong?" Jay added, after not getting any words back from Hailey.

"Forget it. I'm going to bed- alone. Sleep on the couch, Jay" Her mood changed, she found herself falling back into old habits.

"Hails...."

"Jay, don't. I'm going to bed alone" Hailey didn't even turn around to look at Jay, she just carried on walking into their bedroom and closed the door behind her.

****

It was one in the morning and neither Jay nor Hailey had caught ten winks. Hailey tossed and turned in the large, cold bed thinking about what happened back at the warehouse. The scene played in her head like a broken record, each time it looped Hailey tried to pin-point the moment she screwed up. She convinced herself that she imagined Roy turning the gun to Voight. That she was going mental and thinking stuff. It was tearing her apart, and all she wanted was Jay's protective arms around her.

In the living room, it was pretty much the same situation with Jay. However, it was Jay trying to pin-point what made Hailey so upset and clearly traumatised. He to tossed and turned, frustrated that he'd missed where it went wrong for Hailey throughout the day they spent working together. Again, though, it wasn't Jay's fault. He wasn't with Hailey the moment it went wrong- there wasn't anything he could do about it. And even if he was with Hailey and Voight, he still couldn't do anything about it though.

After tiring himself out, Jay's eyes drooped shut. Just as he was about to clock out for the evening, he heard tiny pitter-patters against the floor that got louder as they went on. He opened his eyes with a struggle to see what it was. Hailey was only a couple feet away from him. Her eyes red and rimmed with tears. Jay swiveled around so he was upright, slowly reaching out his hand for the blond to take. She took it gratefully, cautiously taking a seat next to Jay on the sofa. "Hey" Jay shyly murmed, a tiny smile on his exhausted face. "Hey" Hailey timidly replied, finding it so hard to look Jay in the eye out of shame of what she done. "Can I hug you?" Jay asked, not wanting to step over the boundary and make her close off even more again. Hailey just nodded, and threw herself around Jay; clinging onto him for dear life and letting the trap of tears fall free. "I'm right here" Jay whispered, holding Hailey tightly and rubbing an arm up and down her back. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I didn't wanna do it. I tried to stop Voight, but then I had no choice. I didn't want too though" Hailey was distraught in Jay's arms, the state of her worrying Jay to the end of time and back. "Hey, baby, what happened?" Jay asked, his mind racing with what might have happened. "I....I can't say. Y....you'll hate me a...and V...Voight and I. We..well get fired. Me in jail" Hailey answered, only just audible and clear enough for Jay to understand. Jay's stomach churned. Hailey didn't say it fully, but he knew fully well what Hailey had been subjected too- or that kind of stuff anyway. His blood boiled at Voight for letting Hailey see such stuff. It was a blessing that she was the only one who hadn't seen Voight's full potential, and Jay prayed the girl he loved most never would. But she had, which- to him- ment that he hadn't protected her enough. "Shhhh, baby. We'll figure it out, we always do. Please, just tell me it all so I can help. I promise that's all I wanna do. No matter how bad it is, I'll never hate or leave you" Jay assured Hailey, wanting so desperately to help Hailey with whatever was going on.

Hailey reluctantly pulled out the hug, dragging her eyes up with all her energy to look Jay in the eye and keep them there. If she was going to tell Jay the truth, she had to look him in the eye. "I lied....again....Jay" Hailey stated, watching as Jay's expressions changed from concern to alarm; he didn't say anything though, just waited patiently and level mindedly for Hailey to continue. "Voight, he found Roy. I clicked what Voight had done with Ruzek and I. Ruz went home, I went to a house...the guy told me he already told the other cop. I said for him to tell me everything he told Voight.

Anyway, long story short: I wounded up at the warehouse, Voight almost shot me, he tried to finish off the beating I walked in on. Tried to stop him, we got into a row over right and wrong. I begged him to bring Roy in, he said okay. Voight uncuffed Roy, then he went for Voight's gun and angled it at him, so I shot. I tried to resusate, but Voight wouldn't let me. He told me to go home, so I went" By the end, Hailey had regained some level of normal breathing rate; however, Jay's breath rate had gone from nought to sixty after learning the full story. Voight had gone too far infront of Hailey. "You done the right thing, Hails. You done nothing wrong, this is on Voight and Voight only" Jay insisted, pulling Hailey back in for another hug. "You done the right thing, Hails. You done the right thing" Jay soothed, massaging Hailey's hair to calm himself and Hailey down.

The two stayed in each other's brace, terrified that if they pull away everything would come crashing down. Hailey and Jay were safe in each other's arms, but, when they pulled away, that wasn't a certain thing. "I love you, Hails. No matter what" Jay whispered, feeling Hailey drift off after crying herself to sleep in his arms.