Losing Our Way

Preface - part 1

I pull my truck into the driveway of the all too familiar house and put it in park. I push the black button down on my car side door to put up my windows and take a deep breath. It's been four months since I kissed Lexi goodbye in this driveway with tears in both of our eyes. The summer was long, longer and harder than we had anticipated, but being back in the same state will make up for our lost time.

I grab the roses, six pink and six white, from the passenger seat and open my truck door. I walk up the stairs and knock on the wooden door, waiting to be greeted with those baby blues. I hear footsteps approaching the door and it swings open to a surprised Gia, much to my dismay. She stares at me then smiles and opens the door wider, welcoming me into the house.

"Hi Mason." she says as Kaylee appears around the corner.

"Hi Gia. Is Lexi home? I want to see her." I ask, peering past her shoulder searching for her.

"Did she not tell you?" asks Gia, her eyes widening.

"Tell me what?" I ask. My palms get sweaty and my pulse racks up a notch.

"They offered her a job in LA. She's not coming back."

FIVE MONTHS LATER (December)

I smile into my computer camera as my mom, dad, and sisters squish together infront of theirs screaming congratulations and clapping for me. Today, I graduated but didn't fly back for the ceremony. It didn't feel worth it to have my family travel from Boston to watch me for approximately ten seconds walk across a stage. Plus I didn't want to accidentally run into him.

It's been almost five months since I've seen him and I miss him more than I ever thought I could. It's as if apart of my heart was permanently ripped out of my body and is walking around with him wherever he goes. Multiple times I have almost clicked confirm on a one-way ticket back to Florida, but something stops me everytime.

Maybe it's the fact that I'm finally healing from my past traumas between the rape and Mason's deception. After I accepted the job with Timeless Publishing Music Group, I immediately used my benefits to start seeing a therapist. Morgan has been amazing for helping me through some of the darkest moments of my life and helping me move past them but I still shut down when we discuss Mason. She doesn't push or pry, she always says, "Whenever you're ready."

I stopped checking Mason's social media pages and finally just unfollowed him from everything so I wouldn't be tempted to over analyze it when the loneliness crept in after midnight. I stopped reading the newspapers game recaps on how he's doing and how he's having the best fall ball season of his life. I stopped talking to our mutual friends so I wouldn't know that he still isn't seeing - or doing - anyone. Supposedly, he hasn't even blinked in another girl's direction since he found out I wasn't coming back for senior year. I didn't need to know there was still a chance he has feelings for me, not when we were both about to enter into our careers and needed to be on top of our game.

Ding!

My doorbell pulls me out of my depressing thoughts and I tell my family I love them and that I'll call again soon. After a minute of kisses and goodbyes, I shut my computer and get up to see who's at the door. I'm not expecting any packages and deliveries aren't common during a Saturday afternoon.

I tug my cozy cardigan tighter over my shoulders and peer through my peep hole. A woman in a UPS uniform is standing outside with a vase in her hands. I unlock my door and open it to a beautiful flower arrangement.

"Alexis Olson?" she asks, looking at her tablet then up at me.

"Yeah that's me." I say, reaching out for the vase.

"Those are beautiful. They must be from someone special." She says, tapping on her tablet.

I shoot her a tight smile then retreat into my apartment. I set the flowers down on the counter and study them. A dozen red roses with one pink rose and one white rose. My heart catches in my throat as my mind races on who they're from. There's no way they're from him, right? He doesn't even know where I live.

I reach for my phone on the couch and shoot a quick text off to Gia. Time passes slowly as I stare at the text thread waiting for those three little bubbles.

Lexi: Did you give Mason my address?

Gia: No you asked me not to so I haven't

Lexi: Who else would've sent me roses

Gia: Maybe your parents? It is graduation.

I let her words ponder in my head as my breathing returns to normal. My parents did feel guilty about not flying in to see me and this is some grand gesture my mom would do to compensate for it. I throw my phone back on the couch and walk back over to the counter to admire the roses.

The rest of my day passes with no more surprises until my phone pings when I'm curled up on the couch watching tv.

Dad: Did you like the flowers?

I smile, shake my head, and type back my gratitude.