Jane Grey

Chapter 21: I'm the Queen of the Castle

Its been a while, hasn't it? I'll admit it right off the bat, my actions that you are about to read are not at all good and are in fact really spoilt and selfish but I cannot deny what happened. Over the past few days, the following happened; Light had joined our task force to which I threw several tantrums and yelled a lot and was completely uncooperative whenever he was in the room and so what L had resorted to was isolating me from the others whilst still having access to whatever I needed in terms of evidence. Today was a special day though, a day in which I discovered that I wasn't crazy and resulted in a big apology from Ryu.

We had sent a series of messages to this Second Kira, using Light to act as an impersonator. Evidently it was quite effective because she (Yes I am using she/her pronouns because I have such a strong hunch that this Kira is a female fanatic) would respond every time as enthusiastic as the last. At the present day, I was sat in my own isolated room watching the feed waiting for her new response doing nothing but twiddling my thumbs. The door was shut and normally it'd be locked due to my violent behaviour towards Light and yet this time it was left alone (maybe Watari just forgot to do it?). All of a sudden, it had started. It was nothing I hadn't heard before, the same sort of behaviour I would have exerted towards Miss Amane in my fanatic times.

Speaking of Misa! I had kept in contact with her all this time, texting obviously on my burner phone though I was very careful with what was said though some of it probably could be considered too much information. I had told her that I worked for the police, that I was having problems with my caretakers, so on so forth, and she had taken each bit with a positive outlook and nice advice. In return she told me of her career and how it was developing and honestly I couldn't help but fall in love all over again with her as a celebrity. All of this aside, the Second Kira was mostly reiterating what I already knew so I had tuned out...and then she said that one word.

"We can make proper contact with our shinigami's!" or something along those lines. I heard a loud thud come from the next room, my jaw had dropped and my heart began palpitating. She had said it. She said what I wanted to hear so much. I bolted out of the room and saw L was on the floor in pure disbelief, "Did she just say what I think she said?" I gasped. L turned to me when I helped him up, his eyes forever wide, "Your theory has some ground to stand on..." he didn't sound too entirely convinced, but hearing it out of the mouth of a killer it made it so much more palatable than hearing it from me. Light looked at me with confusion, to which I had tried to ignore him. Keyword being 'tried'.

"You mentioned something like this before, Jane?" He had asked.

"I thought I was crazy,"

"You mean to say you had a theory that you never told us?" he began to argue, my temper with this guy was always short for as long as I can remember. But ever since this incident I had been even more of a bomb than ever.

"Yes you fucking bastard of course I never told anyone!" I yelled, marching towards him and feeling myself grow hotter and hotter with anger, "You would've thought I was crazy! You already do after fucking brainwashing me to be your dead girlfriend!" I slowly began to scream, and so Matsuda grabbed my arms to pull me away from him.

"But Jane, you are his dead girlfriend," Matsuda whispered to me, not wanting to fan the flames but in the moment it only got worse.

"Shut the fuck up! I'm Jane Grey, not Jane Moreaux! Heir to Lower Lords and fucking Queen of this goddamn case," the dejected look on his face was heartbreaking, my breath grew heavy with each yell and scream. I kept going with these conceited claims until L finally snapped out of his haze and slapped me. I was silent after that, tears welling up in my eyes and blurring my vision. There was a thick air of tension among all of us whilst they had began plotting their next course of action, a meet-up between Light and the Second Kira in a controlled environment.

I went to my next therapy session about an hour after we had split off for the remainder of the day, the main topic of today was conveniently my narcissistic side. Obviously there's nothing wrong with loving yourself and wanting yourself to do well and also knowing what you deserve, but we had established what was not right. Making my behaviour very clearly a God-complex, quite hypocritical of me to criticise Light's own complex when I had my own. After an hour's session, I grabbed my leftovers from the fridge and ate in silence in my room huddling in a corner by the window and watched the world go by. I heard a knock at the door, I didn't respond to it and pulled my blanket around me resting my weight onto the glass and gazed at those walking below me.

Clearly they didn't care for me not responding to their knock, cause they entered anyway. It was L holding a plate though in the pale moonlight and no other light source I couldn't actually see what it was. "It seems like I'm doing this a lot more than I'd care to admit," he attempted to joke. He sat in front of me in the way that he does, setting the plate beside me and joined me in my people watching, "You did nothing wrong L, there's no reason for you to apologise or comfort me," I whispered. He shook his head at me, taking part of the blanket and draping it over his own shoulders so now we were sharing it.

"This case is proving to be more than I had previously anticipated. Whilst it's very interesting, I would hate to die thinking-"
"Don't you dare even think that you could die here," I interrupted him, giving him a cold glare but the endless tears in my eyes saying more than that. Seems like all I do nowadays is cry and throw childish tantrums...

"As I was saying, I would hate to die thinking you hated me,"

"You was doing the right thing L,"

"Oh I know. I just wouldn't want you to be angry with me. Thats my only request." I raised an eyebrow at him, pushing his legs down flat and laying on his lap basking in the moonlight.

"If I die, as my pseudo-sister, I want you to remember me fondly and not hate me." he was playing with my hair by this point relaxing me beyond belief.

"I could never hate you L...I thought you didn't care what people think of you anyway," my words were slurred ever so slightly.

"I don't, but you're a good kid who deserves to know that there's someone looking out for you and wants you to do well."

Looking out for me, huh? Then don't leave me L. For the love of all things right in this world, don't you dare leave this mortal world. Whether I sit on the throne as Queen or get held in the tower awaiting execution, don't ever leave my side.