Jane Grey

Chapter 19: Cross-Reference

I've been in therapy for just under a week and whilst it feels like there's no mental change in me, I know its there. It's become a lot easier to choose between my desires and what I should actually do, though I do tend to blur the two from time to time - its a long process, I still have a long way to go. Additionally, healing from my own trauma from the past is becoming more evident since I am now acknowledging it and stuff. Regardless, I've been deemed relatively okay to join in the investigation once more though under strict instruction not to push myself no matter how much I feel that I can do it.

So here I am, sat beside L once more in the place that I belong with the Task force either side of us whilst my hands subconsciously played with my infamous Rubik's cube. Soichiro was recovering nicely in the hospital which is a great relief - we were all terrified that Kira had got to him, I was worried that Light had gone to that extremity without me even seeing - and I had been debriefed on the evidence and theories thus far which brings us to currently. On Sakura TV they were playing a pre-recorded video tape, quite out of the ordinary for a news channel, and from the sounds of it it was another Kira or Kira-admirer trying to get his attention. I wont lie, I did feel a bit of jealousy bubble up in my throat but dismissing it as quickly as it came in order to focus on the small details of their words.

Judging by the way they treated Kira even through a screen, I want to say they are female though that would be generalising an entire community of fanatics. This Second Kira, whomever they may be, had mentioned several little details that I'm sure L had caught a lot quicker than I did. My job, rather, was to finally put my criminology studies to good use finally after not being able to. And so I hopped straight to it by profiling and cross-referencing the behaviours of known killers to our Kira. From what I could gather, Kira was even more of an enigma than most serial murderers even if you exclude the supernatural ability to kill without even needing to be in the same country as the victim let alone actually coming across them in the street.

My mind kept drifting back to the Shinigami theory, which by this point had been dismissed as an over dramatic interpretation of hallucinations and sleep depravation; I for one was not prepared to let that theory slide, how else could i have somehow ended up at Light's home without even being spotted leaving the room? Speaking of which, in this new complex, the security is much more tight around here and I have my own room to myself which is nice sometimes but it is connected to the main room so if I did somehow feel that my life was in danger then I had immediate access to security cameras and whatnot. Don't take this as a massive privilege though because I'm not allowed in the kitchen at all without supervision, recommended by my therapist and honestly I agree.

"What've you got Grey?" I was asked, presumably by L, to which I looked up from my notes then back to the pad and narrowed down the profile of suspects,

"I keep coming back to the same suspect, boss" and so he sighed in the way that he did, I had thought that I upset him by not coming to a new conclusion but he reassured me that it was good, "You're only making my theory stronger, no need to worry."

A man by the name of Aizawa, one of the other task force members, had politely asked to see my notes with which he reviewed and asked me questions about the specifics, "Is it really possible to profile a criminal like this?" Matsuda curiously asked - I've noticed that in recent days the task force had been more attentive to me, not that they were't before, taking an active interest in my notes and on rare occasions asking about my own personal experience which usually results in a berating from L. I nodded to Matsuda's question, carefully breaking down each detail that I knew and gradually grew more and more excited to put my passion to use.

We didn't forget the case at hand though, I made sure to reference how I tended to profile Kira based on past cases and their precedents as well as making my own notes off at the side of who the Second Kira could be. I didn't notice it at the time, but Watari had subtly noted to me later that night that both he and L were proud of my development even in such a short time. Don't get it twisted that just because I've been in therapy and in proper care for a week that I'm magically all better, but to hear the affirmation that you're making people proud (the type of people who are the closest to family that can be in my sort of situation) does make me feel happy. Needless to say, I started to sleep well that night until I was abruptly woken up at around 4am to-

"He's pretty pissed that you left," I bolted upright in my bed (immediately regretting it cause of the headache I got not long following). It was the Shinigami. By this point, I no longer tried to interact with it, but it continued to talk, "If you aren't gonna talk to me then I'm gonna leave cuz you're boring." I stayed silent, drifting and dozing but also knowing that if L was awake he would hear every word that I said.

"You alright in there Grey?" Speak of the devil.

"'m fine. Just forgot to take my meds I think..." I mumbled and climbed out of bed, but the creature followed me around sneaking glances at L who was practically glued to his desk. I grabbed a glass of water before anything, "You've already taken them," I paused.

"You're seeing things again aren't you?" I didn't even need to turn around, he already knew the answer, "don't worry too much, recovery isn't a straight line I know as much as that." Still half asleep, I went to him whilst he was building a tower out of strawberries and kissed his cheek "Night big brother." And wandered off to bed again.