The Harper Wedding (Wattpad Version)

Oliver and Conner Harper

Elias

Oliver and Conner picked Halloween to get married on all days. Why couldn't they get married on some random Saturday? It would make my life easier.

"Will you stop complaining?"

"No, because it's bullshit."

"Elias, we picked our day. Let Oliver and Conner have theirs."

I groaned. I'm not too fond of weddings, especially on holiday. Mom yelled at me because I'm bitching about Nate's wedding day. Who the hell gets married on Valentine's Day?

"Is Elias still whining?" Nate asked Tori.

"Your brother hates weddings. He wanted to elope."

"Mom would kill him, then kill him again if he eloped."

"Your brother doesn't care. Imagine if we waited to have sex until after marriage."

"Ew, gross."

"Well, we all have things we don't enjoy hearing."

My wife is a Smartass.

"Why does Deacon look pained?" Gabe asked.

"Because Oliver made him best man. Does my brother seem like the best man?" Nate asked.

Dad turned around. "Will you quit your bitching?"

"Will you turn around so we can continue to bitch?" I asked.

Dad gave me a look. Well, ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer.

Mason pushed a cart with a TV monitor to the front.

"What the hell is Mason doing?" Markus asked.

"Beats the hell out of me," Dad said.

Bradley stood next to Conner while Deacon stood next to Oliver. You're wondering why. Let me backtrack.

Owen was supposed to stand up at the wedding. He got food poisoning the night before from some off-the-wall Mexican place. Didn't he learn his lesson in Mexico? I did. Some of us are smarter than others.

Gia couldn't make it because her grandparents were celebrating their anniversary. That was a fun argument to witness between Deacon and Gia.

Conner wanted Bradley in the wedding. The cousins refused to have one of their girls stand up with Bradley. So, Deacon got the honor. Talk about a convoluted wedding party.

Now, Oliver got miffed because no one would let him perform his wedding. Who the hell performs their wedding? So, he got creative. I don't think I want to know.

"Good afternoon, ladies and gentlemen. Oliver wanted the right minister to perform his wedding. His mom and I disapproved. He vetoed us," Mason said.

"Christ," Dad said.

"Please don't tell me," Markus said.

"Here we go," Larissa said.

"Without further ado, we have a minister via video," Mason said.

Tori and I glanced at each other. Mason pushed play.

Dearly beloved, I gather today because Oliver wanted me here. Did you miss me?

We sat in our seats speechless as Mason paused a video of Uncle Nixon. What the hell?

If you're wondering, we taped this before my demise. Smart kid. I give you props because no one else could get creative.